The Great Milk Debate.

My husband and I will celebrate our 7 year anniversary in December.  This seems like a long time, but then again it doesn’t.  However, after 7 years and 2 kids, it’s hard to even remember what our marriage was like in the beginning.  There is, however, one thing I remember that has been happening on a weekly basis from day one.

When you get married each person has their own idiosyncrasies that you have to learn to deal with.  For example, you might think dirty socks belong in a hamper somewhere, but your husband might think they belong on the kitchen floor.  I’m not saying this actually happened to me last week, it’s simply an example.  Maybe you like to leave the shower curtain open when you’re done, and the other person likes it closed.  Perhaps you think the toilet paper should unroll from the top (which is clearly correct), and the other person thinks it should unroll from the bottom.  Again, these are all just examples.

Most of these habits or personal preferences can be overlooked or ignored.  But, what if one of those habits directly affects you and could possibly throw you into a tizzy and ruin your whole day?  Drum roll please…

 

The milk cap. Yes, the milk cap!

My dear and lovely husband leaves the ring on, just like in the picture above.  I, however, am a milk ring remover.  Honestly, I cannot understand why in the whole world anyone would leave it on!  It’s trash, throw it away!

I thought my husband was the only person who left the ring on, until some of you answered and told me you did too.  Wha wha what?  Girls are supposed to stick together!

Just kidding.  So, why does such a little act send me into a full-blown-ruin-my-whole-day tizzy?  Here’s why.  I don’t particularly enjoy having to pick the ring out of my cereal or coffee each and every time it falls in.  It’s gross.  Not to mention, I have OCD.  So, when the ring falls into my breakfast it makes me wonder where the ring has been, who has touched it, and eventually I will probably decide that the entire bowl of cereal or cup of coffee is completely contaminated.  I. Am. Serious.

Do you have a milk ring in your marriage?

I am Kreativ!

Guess what?!  I have been awarded the “Kreativ Blog Award” by Jen.  This is my very first blog award, and I think it means I’m famous, but I’m not sure.  If you don’t know Jen you should definitely check her out at http://taleoftwocoins.blogspot.com/.  I’ve been following her blog for over a year and she is truly a beautiful and inspirational woman.  She’s also from the great state of Michigan so that makes her doubly cool!  Thank you Jen for giving me this award!

The rules for this award are:

1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3. Link to the person who nominated you for this award.
4. Name 7 things about yourself that people may not know.
5. Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers.
6. Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on each.

So, 7 things you may not know about me…

1. I don’t have a uvula.  If you don’t know what that is, DO NOT Google it!  I just did, and there were all these pictures of people with their uvula’s pierced!  Seriously, who knew?  Oh, and uvula is not to be confused with vulva.  Okay?
2. My first car was a Plymouth Reliant station wagon with wood sides.  I was not allowed to let my friends or anyone else drive it, but we created a game allowing them to drive it without actually driving it.  I would sit in the driver’s seat, with my friend Liz beside me, and my friend Kate in the back seat.  Liz would reach her foot over to control the gas and brake, and Kate would reach around me from behind and steer the wheel.  Right now this sounds terrible, but it seemed like a good idea at the time!
3. My oldest daughter, Alivia, was born on my birthday.  In theory this sounds fun, but in reality I won’t get my own birthday again until she’s probably 18.
4. When I got pg with my second daughter I lied to my OB about when my last period was.  I had calculated the due date, and I didn’t like that date, so I picked a due date I liked and then calculated my last period based on that.  It was only a few days difference, so I figured no one would notice.  I kept this a secret until a couple months ago when I told my husband.  He didn’t even act surprised that I would do such a thing.
5. I have OCD.  When I say I have OCD I don’t just mean I like things organized, I mean I actually have OCD, like diagnosed by a doctor.  I think #4 above can be somewhat explained by this.  Oh, and no, I don’t obsessively wash my hands. 
6. I met my husband online, 8 years ago, before online dating was even “cool.”
7. In 4th or 5th grade I smoked cigarettes with my best friend on my top bunk bed.  Don’t worry, we didn’t inhale.

I am giving the Kreativ Blogger Award to the following 7 people:

1. Hillary at:  http://runningwithsanders.blogspot.com/.
2. Stephanie (aka Sazzle) at:  http://sazzlestyle.blogspot.com/.
3. Elizabeth at:  http://dahlstromschoolofdiscoveryandfaith.blogspot.com/.
4. Laura at:  http://www.ourcrazyadventure.com/.
5. Llama at:  http://llama-tales.blogspot.com/.
6. Lauren at:  http://livinlaurenslifeblog.blogspot.com/.
7. Shawn at:  http://rothfamilyoffive.blogspot.com/.

Are you for pumpkin?

I am a lover of pumpkin pie, pumpkin dump cake, pumpkin cheesecake, etc…  So, I thought I was a lover of all things pumpkin.  Imagine my excitement when I heard another blogger talk about Pumpkin Spice Hershey kisses! 

I finally found these little gems at Target today.  I snapped them up and immediately tore into them when I got to the car.  The result?

These things seriously tasted like up-dog.  Ugh.  I told my husband maybe they are good for baking, but they are not good for eating.  He found that amusing.

Speaking of pumpkin, I finally gave this another try:

Everyone in “blog-land”, and in “real-life-land” raves about the Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks.  I tried one last year, but I stupidly ordered it “iced” and immediately deposited the entire thing in the trash upon arriving to work. 

On Saturday when we were headed to the outlet mall I begged Shawn to stop at a Starbucks, so I could give this lovely fall creation a second chance.  The only Starbucks we could find was in a Kroeger and it just so happened that the barista looked like he just woke up from a week long bender.  So, that was already two strikes against said latte.  Then, I got the latte, and it was orange.  I should have expected this, but somehow it caught me by surprise.  Strike three.  Sorry guys and girls, the pumpkin spice latte will have to find a way to survive without me.  I am not a fan.

So, what about you?  Are you for pumpkin?

What would you do…

If your in-laws had your kid’s for the weekend?

Chances are, you might head directly to the mall after dropping them off, and see this purse:

but, in this pattern:

And, when the sales girl tells you it’s the very last one, you might decide it’s your destiny to have it.

Then you might head to:

And you might buy this top:

Along with two others, because it too, is your destiny.  Not to mention they are all on sale, and you also have a merchandise credit.  (By the way this photo does not even begin to do the shirt justice!)

From the mall you might head to “El Loco Burrito” to meet your husband for dinner.  When you get there you might find that instead of ordering you one margarita, he has ordered an entire pitcher!

 

When you are finished with dinner you might tell your husband that there is no way you can drive home.  He might take advantage of your drunkenness by suggesting you go to Best Buy.  You opt for Sam’s Club, knowing that no matter where you go he’s going to look at something like this:

 

After peeling him away from such things as above, you might end up by these:

It’s entirely possible that you and your husband might then decide to try them all out.  You might even be able to convince your husband to take a running jump and land on one, while an old lady watches.  After he lands, you will probably think it’s a good idea to push him and the mattress back under the shelf where the mattresses roll out from.  At this point you will also definitely cuss yourself out for not bringing your camera in.

Next, you will both decide you need to have a potty break because of the margaritas.  Chances are you will take your blood pressure while waiting for your husband and when your BP is 90/47 you might wonder if you’re dying.

When you recover from your death scare your husband might finally be back from the bathroom only to tell you he saw an old man in the bathroom taking a shit and wiping his ass with the stall door completely open.

You probably won’t believe him, so you will sit on the bench outside of the bathroom, so your husband can make a positive ID.

When you finally decide to leave, you’ll be walking to your car when you see the old woman from the mattresses.  You and your husband will be joking about something when your husband says, “Are you calling me a liar?”  Just to shock the old lady you might respond with “Yes, I’m calling you a liar you M F-ing A-hole!”  Your husband will want to call you a cheating whore and tell you he’s only staying with your for the kids…but he won’t think of this until he gets to the car, and by that time he’s too hysterical to speak.

What if then you went next door to

and while you were there your husband sat on a display toilet and pretended to drop a deuce “jackass” style?

When you’ve both had enough with the shenanigans you’ll probably finally decide to head home, but you might be hungry for ice cream first.

So, you’ll indulge in this:

That is the “coffee toffee twisted Frosty” from Wendy’s.  If you’ve never had one, you should because they are magically delicious.

At home your husband will say he rented this:

because he knows you wanted to watch it.

But, instead you’ll probably write this post for your blog and he will fall asleep on the couch with his mouth hanging open.  (Trust me, I wanted to take a picture!)

Burning question.

I have a question.  You know the ring around the top of a milk cap?  The one that you twist off to get the gallon of milk open?  Like this:Well, what do you do with that ring?  For 29 years (well, probably less because I don’t know when you start opening gallons of milk) I have done the same thing with the milk ring every time I open it.  However, my husband has a differing opinion on what happens with the ring after the milk is open.  This has become increasingly annoying, to the point of maybe we’re not even going to be allowed to have milk in the house anymore.  I need to settle this once and for all, so your cooperation in this study is greatly appreciated.

I spin, You spin, We all spin for Ice cream!

So, there I was at the gym on Monday morning climbing away on my stepper when Chelie (my fav trainer) walks by. “Hi Chelie!", I say. “How was your first spin class?” (She told me last week she was starting to teach spin, and last Tuesday was her first class.) “It was great! Will I see you there tomorrow night?” she says. Oh shit. “Um, yeah, definitely if I can get out of work on time.” Oh. No.

All day at work today I’m thinking about spin. I’m wondering how I can possibly get out of it. I mean, it’s not like I signed up or anything, right? However, I also think I owe it to myself to give it one more try. The class starts at 6pm, so at 4:30 I leave work, figuring it will take at least an hour to psych myself up.

When I get to my car I look in my gym bag and see that I have forgotten my sports bra! Seriously? At this point I think this is a sign that the universe does not want me to spin. I consider my options. Pick up my kids, go home, relax? Go to store, buy sports bra, then head to purgatory? Somehow my car takes me to Meijer, I’m paying for the sports bra, there’s no turning back now.

5:45 pm: I head to the spin room so Chelie can give me a tutorial first. Note to self: start class with knob completely loose.

6pm: We start warming up. We also do some arm stretching while on the bikes. Arm stretching? I’m wearing a tank top and I can’t remember if I shaved my armpits this morning.

6:05: I’m already looking at the clock, but I’m pretending to stretch my neck, hoping no one will notice.

6:10: I’ve officially made it 5 more minutes than I did last time. I consider myself a total rock star.

6:15: My spleen is hurting, or is that my liver? Oh, and I just threw up in my mouth a little.

6:20: I realize it’s one of my incisions that’s hurting. What if the incision bursts open and my implant falls out? OMG. It’s totally possible.

6:25: I’m watching this old bitty in front of me to the right. She’s wearing a polo shirt, but she also has the professional bike shoes on. Her outfit makes no sense. The shoes say hardcore, the shirt says WTF?

6:30: The girl behind me snaps her gum. I remember the gum that I stuck in my sports bra when I changed my clothes. Ok, that’s a little better. But, where should I put my gum wrapper? I decide to swallow it. Okay, I really didn’t.

6:35: Old bitty in front of me says she wants to do more “jumps.” This lady acts hardcore, but I can tell by the way she’s pedaling that her knob is totally loose. Bitch.

6:40: Chelie asks if anyone wants to do one more song or should we start our cool down? Everyone raises their hand for one more song. Hail Mary full of Grace… I start to wonder if there is a patron Saint of spinning.

6:45: We finally start to cool down. I thought class was supposed to be over now?

6:48: We’re off our bikes stretching our calves and I see the woman behind me texting on her phone. I consider beating her with my water bottle, but don’t have the energy.

6:50: Done! What if I can’t get out of bed tomorrow to take my kids to school? Oh well. They can miss one day.

I’m driving home and I remember something Shawn bought at the store last night.

I wonder if I should feel guilty eating this while I watch The Biggest Loser?

I’m not a butt.

The other day Stephanie blogged about the song “Fighter” by Christina Aguilera.  She posted the lyrics, and at first I thought it was a poem, but then in her comments a few people spoke about what an awesome song it was.  I thought, song?  What song?  It was brought to my attention that it was indeed a song by Christina Aguilera. 

How could I not know that?  I researched this song and at one point it was even #20 on Billboard’s top 100 list.  Seriously, am I really that lame?  The answer is yes.  Why?  Well, because the only station my car radio gets is XM 115.  I bet the only person reading this who knows that station is my equally lame (but even more nerdy) husband.  In case you couldn’t guess, the station is this:

Yes, I admit it.  Have you ever listened to this station?  The first thing that comes to my mind when I think of Radio Disney is the DJs.  The DJs are the worst ever, they would probably qualify as more lame than my husband and I because they choose to work there.  They make me throw up in my mouth.  The second thing that comes to mind is “repetitive.”  That’s right, they play the same songs over and over until your ears bleed.  All that being said, some of the songs are super cool and I am a totally hip Mom for knowing them.  For reals.

Does anyone else like to rock out to:

I love this song, it’s one of my current favorite songs…“So I put my hands up, they’re playing my song, and the butterflies fly away, noddin’ my head like yea, movin' my hips like yea…”  I heard Miley Cyrus is on tour right now, and I really want to see her.  (sigh) She’s probably already sold out though.

Ok, how about this one?

This song cracks me up!  Even funnier was last week on the way to school when I had a 4, 6, and 10 year old singing this in my car.  Hearing them sing about Jimmy Choo flip flops and pink Prada totes when they have no idea what that even is, is priceless.  I think it’s more of a theme song for me.  I definitely want all things fabulous!

This is one of my newer favs:

Ok, everyone knows that one, right?  Please say you do.  Come on, in August they got the “Fab-U-lous” award at the Teen Choice Awards.  I mean, that’s pretty much like a Grammy.

Oh, wait a minute!  I just had a revelation.  My car also gets one other station.  That would be XM Kids, channel 116. 

This is one of our favorite songs from there:

(I apologize for the poor video, it was all YouTube had…oh, and you’re going to want your volume way up for this one!)

Seriously, if you don’t know that one, you’re a total Butt.

P.S. This post is dedicated to Stephanie who says a blog about a wife and mother is boring.  I have clearly proven you wrong.

Boys on the Run.

This weekend is the Harvest Festival in Howard City, yeeehaww!  Um, yeah.  I wish I could have taken pictures of some of the sights and scenes around town, but I figured it might be too rude.  Let’s just say we had to wade through body odor and cigarette smoke everywhere we went.

This morning was the 5K run.  Shawn and my Dad decided to train for this run immediately upon witnessing Hillary and I kick ass at the Baby Food Festival Run.  Shawn is a runner from waaaay back, he was All-American in college, and claims his nickname was “The Hammer.”  I don’t believe him, but that’s just me.  Now my Dad has never ran in his life, well, except maybe when he was being chased or chasing something.

Here they are before the race.  I think my Dad was nervous at first, but then he got excited!

Shawn finished with a time of 22:51.

My Dad came in at 27:13.

Shawn got 2nd place (out of 3, hehehe), and my Dad got 5th (out of 5) in their age groups.  Shawn got a medal, and my Dad was a little bummed out that he didn’t.  Even without a medal, my Mom and I were so proud of my Dad!  What a huge accomplishment at age 56 to start running and finish your first race with a time of 27:13!

My Dad did take a photo op with the medal though!

After the run the guys changed clothes and we headed up to the townie festivities.  There were bounce houses, crafts, a car show, a tractor show, some sort of a yard sale flea market, but best of all the parade.

Curious George and Ronald McDonald were both in attendance.

But, our favorite part of the parade (well except for the “princesses) was this:

It’s good candy too, not just junk like dum-dum suckers and peppermints.  We told the girls we got so much candy that we don’t even need to go trick-or-treating this year!  That went over like a fart in church.

Oh, and as I side note, I created a signature for my blog.  At first I liked it, but now the more I look at it the weirder it gets.  You know how when you stare at a word or say a word over and over it’s like the word becomes deformed and you’re not even sure if it’s the same word anymore.  That’s how I’m feeling about my name right now.  Sometimes it looks like Fami or Pami.  Right now I’m looking at it and I’m not even sure what my name is.

What the F Friday!

I apologize for the title, but I couldn’t think of anything better.  But, it’s Friday and I’m going to post about a couple things that happened today, that make me think to myself “WTF?”

After preschool this morning Lainey and I decided to go out to lunch.  We went to this cute little place in Belmont called Likity Split.  It has good food, but I jokingly nicknamed it to my husband “Likity Slow,” because it’s usually slow.  When we walked in a man smiled at Lainey and I and said, “Hi.”  I politely smiled back and said Hi.  Lainey wondered who he was, and I told her I had NO idea.  Later he walks up to our table and says this:

“Do you live across the street?”

Me:  “What?”

Him (pointing across the street):  “Do you live across the street?”

Me (realizing he’s talking about the trailer park across the street):  “Um, No.”

Him:  “Oh, cuz you look just like this lady I delivered cookie dough to over there.”

Later, I called Shawn and told him about this, and I think he thought the guy was maybe trying to pick me up.  I’ve decided that asking someone if you know them from the trailer park is probably one of the worst pick up lines ever!  Ugh.

 

Next, we headed to

I heart Target.  I only went to return something, but then I wanted to buy a baby gift for my SIL who is hoping to have my nephew any day now.  Lainey also picked out a couple things from the dollar bin.  I also heart the dollar bin!  When we went to check out I let Lainey give her items to the cashier.  Then Lainey decided she wanted to swipe my debit card.  I said she could, but she had it upside down, so I helped her flip it over.  When we were in the process of swiping, the cashier says to the woman behind us (who only had two things):

“You can go to the service desk and check out, this looks like it’s going to be awhile.”

At first I stopped and looked around wondering what she was talking about, but then I realized she was talking about Lainey and I.  WTF?  Rude.  Fortunately, the lady behind us looked at the cashier like she was a moron, and said she was fine with waiting.

 

Then, we get home and I see this in my yard:

That’s weird.  I’m not having a yard sale.  Apparently, two of my neighbors are and they thought my yard looked like a perfect place for their sign.  Again, WTF?  Honestly, if they would have asked, I would have been fine with it.  But, they didn’t even ask.  Am I the only one who thinks that’s rude?  I was going to knock it down, but then I didn’t need to because the wind did it for me.  Ok, so I look a little suspicious, but I swear I didn’t do it!

To spin or not to spin?

As I mentioned in a previous post, this month I have been working out for a whole year! In a row! That’s a record for me, usually I stop after 6-9 months. Now that Lainey is in preschool I will be able to work out at the Y every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning. I also usually workout at home with Jillian at least 2 nights/week.

Did I mention I love Jillian? Oh, and Biggest Loser starts tonight! Woot! Woot! Ok, so I love Bob on the Biggest Loser too, but I’m just wondering, do you think he’s gay? I have no problem if he is, I’ve just always wondered this.

Oh, and I can totally do that Yoga pose he’s doing. Well, not really. But, what if I could? That would be bad ass.

Ok, I need to get back to my point. The problem with my working out at the Y is that I feel like I’m going to soon be bored with my workout. I talked to Chelie, my favorite trainer at the Y and she had lots of suggestions. All of which were group classes. I would love to do Zumba or Step, but I can’t. Why? Because I don’t want to look like a moron.

This of course is silly because I actually used to be a cheerleader, and that clearly involves being in front of a lot of people. I have nightmares of cheerleading though. At one Varsity basketball game when I was a senior the entire student section was quacking at me. I’m serious. Stop laughing, this is very true. I have witnesses, several in fact. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, they were quacking at me because someone said I walked like a duck.

So, I googled duck to find a duck image and this is one that came up. I can’t stop laughing, this post is officially completely out of control.

Seriously, back to my point. In an attempt to not make a fool out of myself in a Zumba or Step class, Chelie suggested I try spinning.

Now, in theory, this is a good idea. Except, I have been to a spin class, and it was a disaster. So, here is what this entire post has been leading up to. Shawn and I first joined the Y, I think 3 years ago. It was my bright idea to go to a Spin class our first week there. Mind you, we were both a lot little out of shape.

Picture this:

We get there, pick our bikes, and wait for class to start. The devil teacher comes in, turns down the lights, and starts the crazy loud music. Oh, and don’t worry he was wearing a microphone headset so he could yell at you over the music and tell you what a fat loser you were. I start pedaling, thinking this isn’t so bad. Then, he yells to turn the knob on your bike tighter, thus increasing the resistance. I turn it. A minute or so later he says to turn it again. Well, 5 minutes into it my knob is already completely tightened, but I’m still trying to keep up because there was a morbidly obese woman in front of me who was still pedaling her enlarged heart out. This class was 45 minutes long, so I knew another 5 minutes like this and I would be picking out my casket. Then, this happens: random girl opens the door and asks for Shawn or Tami. What? Thank you Jesus! Lainey was crying in the Kidszone and they needed one of us. Shawn tried to get off his bike, but I insisted that I be the one to tend to our child in distress. Sweet relief!

When Shawn came out of hell 45 minutes later he asked me why I didn’t stay since I was the one who wanted to do the spin class anyway? I told him there was no way I could have done it with the resistance being that high at only 5 minutes in. Then he says this:

“Didn’t you loosen the knob at the beginning of the class?”

WHAT? How could I have missed that? I swear Hitler the teacher never said that.

So, back to my original question…after all that do I really want to try spinning again?

Oh, and as a side note, I did tell Chelie this story when she suggested spinning. She laughed her ass off.