So this is Christmas…

I am sitting here drinking a glass of wine (even though I shouldn’t be), watching A Christmas Story, and having the least stressful Christmas Eve ever.  The presents are wrapped, the stockings are hung, and two little girls are snuggled in bed wearing their new Christmas PJs from Buddy the elf. 

This was just going to be a brief post wishing you a Merry Christmas, but then I realized I never showed you our Christmas card!  I mentioned previously that Shawn didn’t like the idea of “Fall” pictures on a Christmas card, but after 3 tries, I finally found a card he approved of: 

(Front)

(Inside)

What do you think?  When I posted our pictures from the photo shoot, I asked which ones you thought I should use, and I honestly think I ended up using almost all the ones you chose!

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas, and that Santa brings you everything you deserve!  Next week, I’m hoping to be back with a post on why I will never call this blog boring again or wish for something exciting to happen!

That’s What She Said.

If you don’t watch The Office, or know the whole “That’s what she said” joke, you might want to just leave now.  This probably won’t make any sense.  Or, you could check this video out:

I seriously can’t watch that without peeing my pants a little bit.  “That’s what she said” jokes are one of my favorite parts of the show.  The problem with “that’s what she said” is that you have to use it in the appropriate company.  For instance, when I say it at work, nobody gets it.  It’s very sad.  And it makes me look like a perv.  Luckily, at home I can use it, and I do.  Enter Saturday night:

Me (to Shawn):  “So, where is all this snow you said we were going to get?”

Shawn:  “I’m just telling you what I heard.  There’s going to be 4-6 inches tonight and 6-8 inches tomorrow.”

Me:  “That’s what she said.”

Side note:  Yesterday he told me again we were going to get 6-8 inches, to which I told him I was still waiting for the 4-6 inches from last night.

And on Sunday afternoon:

Shawn:  “The timer went off for your cheese ball.”

Me:  “Ok, but it’s not quite stiff enough yet.”

Me (beating Shawn to it):  “That’s what she said.”

 

What in the world is going to happen to The Office this spring when Michael leaves?  I may have to stop watching.  He makes the whole show!

P.S.  Click the link to the cheese ball, it’s crazy delicious!

This. Is. Boring.

A couple people asked me what Shawn and I did for our anniversary, and I can’t believe I forgot to tell you!  Last weekend the girls stayed at my parent’s house, and Shawn and I went to a Michael Buble concert.  We’ve actually seen him in concert before, but this performance was even better!  He has such a beautiful voice and he’s so entertaining that even if you didn’t know how he was, you could go to his concert and still have an amazing time.  So, if you ever get the chance to see him, GO! 

A group called Naturally 7 opened for him, and they were awesome!

They sing everything a cappella and also use vocal play and beat-boxing to make it sound like they have instruments.  I’m telling you, it was seriously amazeballs!

Here are a few pictures of Michael (who was my free pass that night, just in case!) :

 

Onto this weekend!  As I mentioned on Friday, Saturday night we went to see The Nutcracker with my Mom and my sister and her daughters.  I had never been to The Nutcracker before, so I really had no idea what to expect.  I think the girls really enjoyed it, especially since it was put on by a youth ballet, they loved seeing all the little girls (and boys) in costumes.  I liked it, but I thought it was a little long, and I was starting to get bored at the end.  The best part of the final act was when my niece who was sitting next to me blew out a HUGE fart!  I may have laughed, and it may have been inappropriate.

Here are the girls and I at home before the show:

They’re actually wearing their Christmas dresses from last year! 

I didn’t take any pictures during the ballet, but I did take a few of the girls waiting for it to start.  As usual, my nieces refused to smile!

Alivia’s toothless grin cracks me up!

 

Well, I’m off to wrap some more presents and watch Bridalplasty.  Is anyone else watching that?  It’s a total train wreck, but I’m addicted.  Last week Shawn watched it with me, and he actually started praying for the rapture during it, that’s how bad it is!

 

P.S.  Yes, my life and my blog posts are boring lately.  I’m praying for some crazy funny shit to happen so I don’t have to keep blogging about lost lunchboxes and farts.

The return of Feel Good Friday?

Wow, when was the last time I did a Feel Good Friday?  I could go back and look, but let’s face it, I’m too lazy.  I’m actually forcing myself to do a FGF this week, because I’ve had a really shitty week.  Can we say smoke and oil spewing out of the hood of my beautiful Acadia this morning?  Can we say dead battery the night before?  Can we say 5 inches of snow on it’s way tonight?  Oh wait, that could be a good thing…please baby Jesus let there be a snow day!

Moving right along.  The positive, we’re focusing on the positive, right?  Here we ago…in no particular order, here are a 5 things that made me feel good this week:

1.

On Sunday morning Alivia’s second top tooth fell out!  Ok, I admit, I pulled it out.  But, she told me to!  I have witnesses.  Right after it happened I played the “All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth” song, and she was so excited about it!  On another note, playing the tooth fairy is creepy.  Just sayin.

2.

Speaking of Christmas songs, my children are currently obsessed with the song “I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus.”  They heard it in my car last week, and they were confused and laughing hysterically all at the same time.  They’re still trying to figure out why in the whole wide world Mommy would kiss Santa Claus!

3.

Meet the newest member of our family:

I heard about the Elf on the Shelf tradition last year from Semi-Slacker Mom, and now we have started it this year.  The girls named our elf “Buddy” after the elf in the movie “Elf.”  The best thing about Buddy is that he totally creeps Shawn out!  I have to admit, Buddy’s eyes do seem to mysteriously follow you, maybe he’s possessed?

4.

Today after I picked Alivia up from school, she told me “Mom, just so you know, Lainey lost her gloves on the bus this morning.  She already got them back, because she realized right away that she lost them.  But, I thought you should know she lost them.”

  Oh silly Alivia!  Are you trying to take the attention off the fact that you have lost your lunch box, your boots, and broken your shoe all in the same week?  Nice try sister!

5.

This weekend my Mom is taking my girls and I, and my sister and her daughters to see The Nutcracker.  It’s put on by a children’s ballet, so I know the girls will all love it!  I’m so excited!

 

P.S.  I’ve been a totally bad blogger and commenter lately, I promise to try harder!  Ok, maybe not.  But, please forgive me!

A season of change.

Today is my 8th wedding anniversary!  There are so many cliché things I could say about how wonderful my husband is, and how just being with him makes me a better person.  But, I’m not going to say that.  Anyone who has been married (or in a committed relationship) can tell you there are many different “seasons” to a marriage.  If I were to label this last year of our marriage, I would call it a season of “change.”

A year ago something happened in our lives, and in our marriage, and it forced us to make a difficult decision.  We all know the Bible verse that states “wives be submissive to your husbands,” right?  Well, if you know me, then you know I am not submissive…to anyone.  But, a year ago, I gave in.  For the first time in 7 years, I put my trust in God and in my husband that he would make the right decision for our family.  His choice was not the easy choice, or the popular choice…but a year later, I can see it was the best choice.  It was the best choice for us, and for our marriage.

That may sound strange, saying it was “the best choice for our marriage.”  What about our kids?  Well, I’ve come to realize over the last year that by putting our marriage first, we are putting our children first.         

Happy Anniversary Shawn!

“All that I’m after is a life full of laughter

As long as I’m laughin’ with you

I’m thinkin’ that all that still matters is love ever after

After the life we’ve been through

‘Cause I know there’s no life after you.”

Confessions of a first time Black Friday shopper.

My Mom and I have gone shopping on Black Friday for the last 5 years or so, but we usually never leave the house until at least 8 am.  Hey, I never said we were hardcore.  So, there we were on Thanksgiving night (around 11 pm) when my Mom says “Let’s go right now.”  Wha wha what?  I had been awake since 8 that morning, and my Mom had been up since 6, and no one had taken a nap during the day.  This sounded like a bad idea.  And then my Mom said “Decide right now.  Either we leave now, or I’m going to bed.”  What the?  I didn’t want to be the weakest link, so of course I said yes. 

My Mom made a pot of coffee, I gathered up my coupons, my Dad told us not to go because he thought we had been drinking, and Shawn laughed at us.  But, we were off:

Did we have a plan?  No, but we had coffee and coupons, what more do you need?  So, here is what I learned (in no particular order):

• Just because Toys R Us opens at 10pm, doesn’t mean you will be able to get in at 12:30 am when you get there.  Everybody and their brother will also be at Toys R Us since it’s one of the only things open!
• People who wait outside of Target and Best Buy for days before Black Friday totally look homeless.
• Meijer will never look so good at 1 am when there is nowhere else to go. 
• Just because Meijer starts putting their Black Friday signs out at 2 am doesn’t mean they will give you that price.  Apparently their sale started at 5 am, however there was nothing on their Black Friday signs in the store stating “5 am.”  Meijer, I’m totally calling SHENANIGANS on that one!
• Bring warm clothes, because even though you may not plan on standing in a line outside the store, you may do it anyway for the love of being one of the first people in Kohl’s on Black Friday.
• Drinking coffee + standing outside in very cold air = the need to pee a lot.
• All 250 people who race into Kohl’s at 3 am will be ready to check out at the Exact. Same. Time.
• Kohl’s is very good at product placement.  When I got in line I had no gifts for Shawn, but when I finally got to the cash register two hours later I had 4!  Fry Daddy’s and Quesadilla makers never looked so good!
• Sometimes it doesn’t matter that the mall is open at 5 am.  When the delirium sets in, it’s best to stop buying.
• Don’t bother ordering a big breakfast when you finally make it to Bob Evans.  You will be too tired to eat it, and you won’t even have the energy to complain about wasting $17 on burned toast, fatty bacon, and cold potatoes.
• Don’t go to Kmart after breakfast just because it’s across the street and because sitting at breakfast has given you a small amount of energy.  Kmart is almost always a bad idea, and Kmart in the ghetto is a very bad idea!
• After being up for over 24 hours straight, seeing someone fall in the Kmart parking lot will seem like the funniest thing in the whole wide world.
• If and when you make it home, do not look in the mirror.  I promise you, you have never looked uglier.  Or maybe that was just me?

So, there you have it.  I came, I saw, I busted doors.  And two days later, I’m still recovering.

Don’t mess with women and shoes.

One weekend in March, just before spring break, we took the girls shoe shopping because they just had to have a pair of Sketchers Twinkle Toes.  While we were shopping Shawn said to me “I could use a new pair of black shoes.”  So, he goes to the men’s shoe department, tries several pairs on, and finally decides on something like this:

That may not be the exact shoe, but you get the idea.  A plain black leather shoe, with laces.  When he decided on that shoe, I asked him several times “Are you sure?  You’re sure you want a shoe with laces?”  Yes, he said he was sure.  Again I said “You realize those have laces?  I’m afraid you won’t wear them since they have laces.”  And then he got all huffy, insisting that yes, he would wear the shoes!

It’s not that my husband doesn’t know how to tie shoes, I assure you he does (I think).  But the fact is, men are lazy.  If they are standing at the door in the morning, and there are two pair of shoes staring at them, one with laces and one without, they would choose the pair without.  There could be a 20 dollar bill in the pair with laces, and my husband would probably still choose the other pair.  Hell, he might even choose a pair of Velcro shoes over the ones with laces!

What is my point?  My point is this, my husband doesn’t wear the shoes.  Not only does he not wear the shoes, but the slip-on ones that he has continued to wear are now totally disgusting.  I’ve asked him several times to wear the other shoes, I’ve even said “Can’t you at least wear the new pair to church?”  And he says he will, but he doesn’t.

So, on Saturday afternoon we went to church to get pictures taken for the new directory, and what do you think Shawn was wearing on his feet?  Do I need to answer that question.  I thought about saying something, but then I changed my mind.  I was formulating a plan.  I decided that on Sunday morning, if Shawn didn’t wear the new black shoes to church, that I was going to take the old pair.

Sunday morning came, and I heard he and the girls at the door getting their shoes on.  I was upstairs, and the whole time I was saying to myself “Make the right choice Shawn.  Wear the new shoes!  Don’t make me be a bitch.”  After they got in the car, I hurried downstairs.  The old shoes weren’t by the door, but I was still hopeful so I quick looked in the closet.  And there they were.  Not only were the new shoes still in the closet, but the laces were even tied.  Tied laces?  Yes, because even if he does wear shoes with laces, he still does his best to slip them on and off without untying them.  Sigh.

This could mean war, but I’m ready.  Besides, since the old pair of shoes is gone, he really can’t put up much of a fight.  Moral of the story:  Don’t mess with women and shoes.

For the love of chocolate.

Earlier this month when I got my Keurig coffee maker and then a laptop for my birthday, I thought my life was complete.  Seriously.  I said to myself “Self, this is as good as it’s going to get!”  But, I was wrong.

If you know me, then you know I have a love of all things chocolate.  I can’t help it, it’s actually in my blood.  My Dad seriously eats Mounds candy bars for breakfast, pinky swear! I digress.  The saddest thing about my chocolate addiction is not the fact that it requires me to workout out like a maniac, but that my favorite candy is only available for 2 (maybe 3) months out of the year.  These limitations cause me to hoard candy, and slap the hands of anyone who dares to touch the bag.  Yes, that includes small children.  What could be so delicious?

 

Since it’s only November, we have at least 3 more months until we see these on the shelves (and I secretly eat them in my bathroom to avoid sharing), right?  Wrong!  Wrong?  Yes, I said wrong!  Yesterday, Ange made the greatest discovery of all time, behold:

No, people you are not seeing things!  Those are Christmas Cadbury Mini Eggs!!  Amazeballs.  Seriously Amazeballs.  My life is now complete.  But, it gets even better!  When Ange realized the love for Cadbury Mini Eggs stretched the blogosphere far and wide, she decided to spread the Hanukkah cheer, and give some away!  No, I’m not Jewish, but Ange is, and those are just details anyway.  Anyjew.  She is giving away 5 bags!!  So, click on her fabulous button to find out how you could possibly win these 5 bags of chocolatey goodness.

P.S.  If you enter because I sent you there, and you win, can I have a bag?  Just one?  Pretty please with Cadbury Mini Eggs on top?

Pictures and a message from my soap box.

I’m finally ready to show you the rest of our family photos which were taken in October!  Are you excited?  You know you are.  Before I go any further though, I would like to ask one thing of you.  If you would like to leave comments saying that my outfit is ugly or my makeup is bad or my husband is old and bald, feel free!  However, please don’t leave comments attacking my children.  I realize that my blog is public, but everyone who reads my blog is an adult, and I don’t think as an adult you ever have the right to make fun of children.  Especially children as beautiful as mine!  Now, let me jump down off my soap box, so we can get to the pictures:

 

These are just a handful of my favorite pictures, but there are many more!  If you’d like to see them all, you can check them out on Facebook.  The photos were taken by a friend of mine, she does a fabulous job and is very reasonably priced.  If you live in my area, be sure to check her out at Tracy B. Originals.

P.S.  Which is your favorite family photo?  I had our Christmas card all designed and ready to order when Shawn said “I don’t like the idea of a Fall picture on a card that says Merry Christmas.”  What the?  Who said he even got a vote?

Weekend Update and Monday Minute with Powdered Toast?

This weekend we went to Ohio for Shawn’s family Thanksgiving celebration.  The girls love going to Ohio, and we always have a great time, but I really don’t have a lot to report on.  The highlights of the trip were:  Alivia puked on the way down, Lainey and I got to hold new baby twins, and Alivia injured her face (again).  Fortunately for all of us, I don’t have photographic evidence of the vomit incident, but here are the other two pictures:

I’m holding Hope and Lainey has JoHanna.  Lainey loved holding the babies, she would have held them all night if she could have!

And here’s Alivia:

Sigh.  It actually looks worse than that in person.  I told Shawn I was afraid someone would call CPS on us!  We didn’t see it happen, but according to Alivia she was getting a piggy-back-ride from her cousin and she went head first over his shoulders and landed face first into the carpet.  Did I mention we have to get pictures taken for the church directory next Saturday?  Do you think it’ll be gone?

 

And now onto Monday Minute, which apparently is hosted by Powdered Toast Man this week.

1) Would you rather be stuck on a bumpy roller coaster while having to pee extremely bad OR be stuck on a crowded elevator with really bad gas with co-workers?

Most definitely the bumpy roller coaster.  The farts would just be embarrassing, and I know quite a few of my co-workers would call me out on it!

2) What is the one thing you miss most from your childhood?

Probably just not having any responsibility.  Isn’t it nice when someone else pays all the bills, puts the food on the table, and buys you toys?

3) If aliens exist, what do you think they look like? (describe)

For lack of a better answer, I’m going to say they would look like the Powdered Toast Man.

4) Would you rather discuss your body weight or your salary with people that you know?

Honestly, I don’t care.  I would discuss either.  However, according to my boss discussing your salary is grounds for dismissal, and I wouldn’t want that.  So, I weigh 116 pounds.  Gasp, I can’t believe I just told you that.  Now that I think about it, did I even have to answer that question?

5) If you were stuck in a predicament like in the movie Alive, could you revert to cannibalism? If so, how would you feel about eating your deceased friends and family?

No way, not ever.  I couldn’t do it.  Just thinking about it makes me gag.

6) People that are born blind, what do they dream about? Sounds?

I have no idea, and now this question is really bothering me.  It’s a mystery.  Maybe they dream about eating chocolate or smelling babies?

Did somebody say FREE?

You know I love a great deal, so when I heard that Shutterfly was giving away 50 free Holiday cards to bloggers, I was more than excited!!  Have you used Shutterfly before?  They don’t just develop and store photos for you, they also have photo books, cards & stationary, calendars, and oodles of photo gifts to choose from!

I already know our Holiday card will use photos from our Fall family photo shoot, but deciding what card to order will be difficult! 

I could choose this one which allows for multiple photos:

My favorite part of this card is the initial of your family’s last name!  Who doesn’t love a monogram?

I might also choose one using pictures of just the girls:

I know, I know, another one with the initial.  What can I say, I just love that idea!

Of course, I could also do a simple one with just a family photo:

 

You’ll have to wait to find out which card I chose, but if you’d like to get 50 free cards of your own, click here to find out how!

Have a great weekend everyone, see you on Monday!

The Feel Goodiest Friday ever!

Yes, I realize that "Goodiest" isn't a word, but deal with it.  You get the point though, right?  That this Feel Good Friday is the best one to date!  Seriously.

Several times on my blog I have talked about and linked to my cousin Hillary.  Hillary is my cousin, but growing up she was also one of my best friends.  One of our favorite past times was playing with our Cabbage Patch dolls.  Honestly, I couldn't tell you how long we played Cabbage Patch kids, but it was probably until we were too old to be playing dolls.  Don't judge.  My point is this, 20 years ago if you had asked either of us what we wanted to be when we grew up, we both would have simply answered "a Mom."

I found out some time ago that Hillary and her husband were not able to concieve.  I offered to lend her my uterus, but she turned me down flat.  She and her husband had decided that they would complete their family through adoption.  I have learned a lot about adoption by watching Hillary and D.B. go through this process.  Twice in the last five months they thought they were matched with a birth mother, but it fell through.  I can't even imagine what that felt like.  But, one thing I can imagine is what it feels like to welcome your first child into the world:

Welcome to the world Colbie Christine!!
Born Tuesday, November 9th.
Luckiest little girl (and Mom & Dad) in the world!

See you next spring!

Remember last Friday when I told you about my fabulous Keurig coffee maker, which was my birthday present?  Well, it turns out, that wasn’t my birthday present at all. 

Sunday morning Alivia opened her birthday presents, and I wasn’t really expecting anything because Hello!  Keurig!  But, then Shawn went downstairs and came up with 3 more gifts.  The first two were from Alivia and Lainey, a necklace and earrings they had picked out at the mall on Saturday.

The third one Shawn handed to me and said it was from all of them.  It was kind of heavy, but I knew it was too small to be the stripper pole that I asked for.  So, if it wasn’t the pole, what was it?  Does anyone remember what the other item was I asked for?  Anyone? 

Is the suspense killing you?  Maybe I should wait until tomorrow to tell you?  Ok, ok, it was this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m not going to lie.  When I opened it, my jaw dropped and I said “Oh. My. God.  Did you steal this?”  For real.  That’s what I said!  Is my husband amazeballs, or what?  A Keurig and a laptop, my life is complete!  Since it’s getting cold here in Michigan, I just might move the Keurig to my bedroom and with my laptop by my side, I can go into hibernation.  See you next spring!

Birthday Weekend Update.

We had a wonderful weekend, starting on Friday with Alivia’s birthday lunch with her classmates.  Birthday lunch?  Yes.  I was actually quite possibly tricked by Alivia this year with all the celebrations she had.  Last year she had a huge birthday party at the YMCA complete with pizza, cupcakes, rock wall, and swimming.  After that money pit, I told her I thought it was best if she and Lainey had parties every other year.  One year her turn, and the next year, Lainey’s turn.  On their off year, I said they could have a friend over.  Simple enough, right?

So, this was Alivia’s off year.  Well, before I knew it, she was having two friends to spend the night and having a pizza lunch with her classmates.  As if the pizza wasn’t enough, Shawn then decides to bring cotton candy for all the kids too!  What the?  Anyshenanigans.  I forgot to bring my camera to her pizza party, but here are a few pictures from the slumber party:

Many games of Just Dance 2 were played.  After I had heard “Tik Tok” by Kesha for the 10th time, I told Shawn we needed to start screening their songs.  I just hope nobody went home and asked to brush their teeth with a bottle of Jack!

More cotton candy:

Bedtime?  Probably not!

Saturday after we took the girls home we went to Red Robin for lunch, where I got this amazingly huge fry:

Ange, this picture is for you!

Alivia and I also got a birthday Sunday, but I gave mine to Lainey.

We also went to the mall, so the girls could pick out a birthday present for me (more on that later) and I could get the Gap legging jeans I’ve been lusting after:

I ended up getting the gray ones, because they were the only ones in my size, but I love them!

So, this morning I was supposed to get an extra hour of sleep, right?  Wrong.  Alivia and Lainey were up at the butt crack of dawn to open presents! 

Yes, I realize I got her way too many presents.  That’s a long story.  I also realize they’re wrapped in Christmas paper, I blame Shawn for that.  What’s in all those boxes?  Let’s see…a vest, pajamas, Justin Beiber t-shirt (barf), those sweater like boots, earrings, zhu zhu pet stuff, and her favorite present of all:

A Password Journal that she just had to have.  She loved it, and clearly it’s fabulous because it’s already been the cause of several fights in our house today.

Oh, I almost forgot!  The (white) gold gift for her “Golden Birthday:”

It has an “A” engraved in the center

After presents we went to church, and then to the store so both girls could buy another Zhu Zhu pet with money from their grandparents.  I’m pretty sure these hamsters are taking over my house!  Oh well, at least they’re house broken. 

This afternoon my Parents and my Grandma came over to take us out for supper, which was delicious!  And, of course, we finished up the whole day with cake:

Thank you to everyone for the birthday messages, texts, and comments!  Come back tomorrow, for a little something Shawn got me for my birthday!