On my honor, I will…

Everyday Alivia comes home from school with her “communication” folder jammed with random completed assignments, and other flyers asking you to donate money, or canned goods, or join this group or that sport. Blah, blah, blah. Most of the flyers are junk.

Once in awhile she intercepts a flyer, and is then convinced she must join or participate in whatever it is. Such as this:

Apparently, “Daisy’s” are before “Brownies” on the whole Girl Scout chain of command. So, I decide, okay whatever, be a Daisy. I was a girl scout for like a minute, and it was fun. Every girl gets a chance at Girl Scouts, right?

However, upon closer inspection of the flyer I found that there was not an actual Daisy troop at her school, but they were hoping to start one. If your daughter was interested you should send an email, and also let them know if you could help out at all. Okay fine.

Dear Head Girl Scout Lady-

“My daughter wishes to be a Daisy Scout. I think she only wants to sell and eat the girl scout cookies, but can you blame her? They are delicious! Please let me know if you get enough girls to start this thing. Oh, and if absolutely no one else in the whole wide world wants to help out, then I can.”

Yours Truly,

Girl Scout Drop-Out

So, a week or two goes by and nothing happens. Then last week I’m on the phone harassing my brother about why hasn’t my sister-n-law had their baby yet…when the girl scout lady calls. So, I hang up quickly telling my brother “I gotta go, the Girl Scouts are on the phone.”

Long story short, she says there enough girls, and would I still be interested in helping out? As in, would I be a co-leader? Wait a minute, what? I was definitely not thinking this…I don’t remember saying a definite yes, but apparently I didn’t say no either. A few days later I got an entire application home in the infamous “communication folder” from school.

Included are:

• Volunteer Application
• Registration (please send $12 to register! Oh, and another $12 to register your daughter!)
• Authorization for a criminal background check
• Authorization to check driving record
• Reference forms from 3 people (who aren’t related to me)

Seriously? My kid just wants to be a Daisy, I’m not applying to join the military.

I filled out everything, and then when I went to sign the registration it said by signing “I agree to abide by the Girl Scout Promise and the Girl Scout Law.”

I got kind of nervous at first, but then I read it and saw that it said “On my honor, I will try…” So, it just says “try.” I can do that, I mean I can “try” to do anything.

The reference thing is the only thing holding up my application process now. I asked my boss today if she would be a reference and she laughed. Maybe I should find someone else? I’m going to see my friend Abbie on Friday, and I was going to hit her up. Except that where I’m going to see her is at one of those, ahem, girls only x-rated parties. Hmm, I don’t think that breaks any of the Girl Scout Laws.

Author note: If there are any actual Girl Scout higher-ups reading this, please know that this blog is for entertainment purposes only. Given the opportunity, my daughter would be an excellent Daisy Scout. Also, my daughter (well, actually, I did) sold the second most magazines in her whole school last month in the magazine sale. I’m sure we would totally kick ass butt on the cookie thing!