Friday, August 27, 2010

Feel Good Friday: The Big Reveal!

I should have told you I decided to wait until Friday to reveal my Mom’s birthday presents, sorry about that!  I figured most of you had forgotten, but a few emails yesterday proved that I was wrong.  Before I get to the gifts, do you know what today is?  It’s the big day!  NYC baby!!  Please pray for a safe trip free of underwear bombers and bed bugs. 

Moving on…


On our vacation to Silver Lake in July we went to Ludington one day, and happened to stop in a bike shop because my bike was having issues again.  While we were there my Mom started eyeing the Beach Cruisers.  She told my Dad she had to have one.  I told her she was crazy because I had been asking Shawn for a pink beach cruiser for 5 years, and I still wasn’t pimping one, so there was no way she was going to be either!

I don’t think she forgot about the bike, but I think she figured my Dad would never buy her one, so she asked for a suitcase for her birthday.  Meanwhile, my Dad asked me to find her a cruiser!  And so I did:

cadillacThis isn’t just any bike either people, it’s a Cadillac!  It even came with a bell, and we put a big basket on the front for her, totally pimp!  The day of her birthday my Dad told her that he wouldn’t have her present until the next day, so she wasn’t expecting anything.  After lunch we brought out on the deck for the big reveal:

What’s going on here?  I don’t see any present!


Oh my gosh!!!


She loves it!!


My brother and sister-in-law also got her the suitcase she wanted, so she was delighted!  My sister and her family got her a beautiful dress and sweater, which I think she might wear to the wedding this weekend.  Honestly, when my sister told me she bought my Mom an outfit, I thought she was bat-shit-crazy.  I never buy clothes for anyone except my kids and my husband, it’s just too risky.  But, the outfit was seriously perfect!  Apparently my big sis is a better shopper than I am!

But, what about our gift?  Patience, patience.  Well, for one, we got her the bike basket.  But, our main gift was something she’s been asking for for years, but I was too lazy busy to work on.  She wanted pictures of all her kids and grandkids framed and put on a wall in the living room.  Well, to do all those pictures individually was just too much work, so I found a happy medium:


While we were on Mackinac Island we took a few pictures of all of us (while my parents were gone), so most of the pictures in the frame are from that day.  Here they are…

All of the kids and grandkids:


(On the left is my brother, Jeremy and his wife, Mary is on the next step up from him.  Next to Shawn in the brown shirt is my brother-in-law, Todd and my sister, Andrea is next to him in the pink.)

All the grandkids:


(On the top step from L to R:  Kaytlin holding Ethan, Lainey, Alyssa, Natalie, and Alivia.  Bottom step:  Alex and Ryan.)

My sister’s family:


My brother’s family:


My family:


So there you have it.  My Mom said she had the best birthday ever, and that is something which made me feel really good this week!  Be sure to head on over to The Girl Next Door and link up! 

P.S.  I apologize for my lack of commenting and emailing this week, but don’t give up on me!  I promise I’ll be back up to speed next week after school starts.  Pinky Swear!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Run like hell.

Shawn had a physical today, and when I say physical, I mean:


So, if you find this offensive, you may just want to leave.  Like now.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

If you know me well, then you know that I found today the perfect opportunity to make Shawn the butt of all my jokes.  He must have known the jokes were coming because I woke up to a lovely pot of hot water again this morning.  Curses.  When I called him out on the coffee he said his mind must have been elsewhere…perhaps on his 2:10 appointment.

I should have harassed him all day, but luckily (for him) I had better things to do.  I didn’t send the first text until 1:50, it may or may not have said “Good luck with your rectal exam!” (insert smiley face)

Don’t worry, it didn’t end there.  When he came home from work he walked over to give me a hug and I promptly reached my hand around his rear attempting to probe him.  He screamed like a girl.  Again, it didn’t end there…

Me:  “Were you violated?”

Shawn:  “Yes.  I was violated!”

Me:  “Did he use lube?  Was your butt all slimy?”

Shawn:  “Yeah, I was farting bubbles afterwards.”

Me:  “Did he manhandle your balls too?”

Shawn (clearly annoyed by this point):   “Oh yeah, he did that too.”

Me:  “What about your erections?  Did he ask about erections?”

Shawn:  “Yes, he asked about that too.”

Me:  “No way!  I was only joking!  What did he say?”

Shawn:  “He asked me if everything was working properly down there.”

Me:  “Bahaha!  What did you say?”

Shawn:  “I told him I hadn’t had any complaints.”

Me (jaw on floor):  “Why did you lie?”



Monday, August 23, 2010

Monday Minute: In the Land of Crazy Single Momma’s

Do you like that title?  I thought it was bad ass.  There’s big news this week in the land of Monday Minute!  Ian is on a break!  Can you believe it?  So, Monday Minute is now being hosted by Heather @ In the Land of Crazy and Melissa @ Day to Day Living.  There is also still a freakin’ co-hostess, who this week is Not Your Average Single Momma.  Holy Hell, that’s a lot of people to remember.  On top of all that, there’s a new button:


Wait a minute, that’s not it. 

Ok, here it is:


That’s more like it.

Let’s just get on with the questions…

1.  What is your favorite 80’s flick?

Well, it turns out my favorite 80’s flick is not actually from the 80’s, but it was my favorite flick in the 80’s.  So, does that still count?

Nevertheless, it was this:


It’s actually still one of my favorites!

2.  One Genre of music needs to be banned.  Which genre?

Does Justin Bieber count as a genre?  No?  Fine, then I choose rap…but not all rap.  Can Eminem and Sir-Mix-A-Lot please stay?

3.  What is your all time favorite candy?

I’m not really a candy person, I’m more of a chocolate person.  How about something with a candy coating?



4.  How flawed is your driving record?

I believe it is currently clean.  I’ve had 3 speeding tickets total, but one of them didn’t count because my Mom made me fight it and lucky for me the cop didn’t show up…and the other two have been long enough ago that they’re off my record (or however that goes).

5.  What was your high school mascot?

That’s a very good question.  A question I should be able to answer, since I was a cheerleader.  However, we didn’t really have one.  We were the “Fremont Packers,” but who even knows what a “Packer” is?  Fudge Packer?

6.  What color socks are you wearing?

If you must know, I’m wearing white athletic socks…I just got back from a run!


Happy Monday everyone!  Oh, and I’ll post pictures tomorrow of my Mom’s birthday surprise, pinky swear!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

They say it’s your Birthday…

Today is my Mom’s Birthday!


My Mom is probably the best Mom in the world and one of my best friends.  She is also a supportive wife and wonderful Grandma to all 8 of her grandchildren!

We are getting together with my whole family at my parent’s house today for her birthday, and I can’t wait to give her her present!

  And wait until you see what my Dad got her…more on that later!


Happy Birthday Mom!

Friday, August 20, 2010

Feel Good Friday: The Bitch Edition.


Happy Friday bitches!!  Hmm…are you allowed to say bitches on a “Feel Good Friday” post?  I don’t know, but whatever, it’s my blog and I’ll bitch if I want to.  Friday is going smashingly so far at my house…Lainey was up at the butt crack of dawn (aka 5am) and when I finally stumbled downstairs this morning for coffee I found that Shawn had made me a lovely pot of hot water.  Yes, people, he forgot the coffee.  Awesome.  Oh wait, there’s more!  My Mom emailed me this morning to tell me she saw on Good Morning America there is a bed bug infestation in NYC.  Nice.

So, let’s see if I can find something to feel good about.  It might be difficult.  But, here goes:


1.  I finally found the perfect shoes for my dress for the wedding next weekend!


Don’t judge, okay?  I’ll be the first person to say these shoes look a little trashy at first glance, but even my husband said they looked awesome with the dress!

2.  Yesterday an 8 year old girl came to the surgery center with her Grandma eating this for breakfast:


And I’m not talking about a vending machine size bag people!  I’m talking about a regular size bag of chips from the grocery store!

Why does this make me feel good?

  Well, hello!  Something as simple as this makes me feel like a good Mom, because even I wouldn’t feed my kids chips for breakfast!

3.  Lainey’s cupcakes for her Build-a-Bear party with her friends turned out great!


In case you couldn’t tell, they are supposed to be dogs.  I had no idea how they would look, because I tweaked a recipe I found online to make it easier.  They weren’t as epic as my rainbow cupcakes, but I was still pleased with the result!

4.  Lainey’s party was a success!


On Wednesday Lainey had a small party with 4 school friends, and of course her sister.  We went to Pizza Hut for lunch and then to Build-a-Bear.  All the girls had a great time, and there were no meltdowns (by the girls or myself!).

Last, but not least…

5.  I kicked ass again on my workouts!

I have honestly been slacking on my workouts this summer.  However, after reading Tyly’s and Erin’s blogs, I was inspired to start this again:


I have actually had this DVD since before it was even popular.  It’s one of my favorite workout DVD’s, but I’ve never done it for 30 days in a row.  In fact, I’ve never even attempted to…until now.  Today will be the 7th day in a row, and I’m still going strong!  I’m not just doing the DVD though.  Several days I ran before doing the DVD and last night I did a 15 mile bike ride before The Shred.

  That’s right, I’m kicking ass and taking names!!


Happy Friday everyone!!  Be sure and head over to The Girl Next Door to link up to Feel Good Friday! 

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

It Won’t Be Like This For Long…

He didn’t have to wake up


He’d been up all night


Layin’ there in bed listenin’

To his new born baby cry



He makes a pot of coffee

He splashes water on his face

His wife gives him a kiss and says

It’s gonna be OK

Family picture BW

It won’t be like this for long

One day we’ll look back laughin’

At the week we brought her home


This phase is gonna fly by


So baby just hold on


‘Cause it won’t be like this for long


Four years later ‘bout 4:30


She’s crawling in their bed


And when he drops her off at preschool


She’s clinging to his leg


The teacher peels her off of him

He says what can I do


She says now don’t you worry

This’ll only last a week or two


It won’t be like this for long


One day soon you’ll drop her off

And she won’t even know you’re gone


This phase is gonna fly by

If you can just hold on


It won’t be like this for long


Some day soon she’ll be a teenager

And at times he’ll think she hates him


Then he’ll walk her down the aisle

And he’ll raise her veil


But right now she’s up and cryin’

And the truth is that he don’t mind


As he kisses her good night

And she says her prayers

He lays down there beside her

‘Til her eyes are finally closed

And just watchin’ her it breaks his heart

Cause he already knows…


It won’t be like this for long


One day soon that little girl is gonna be


All grown up and gone

Yeah, this phase is gonna fly by

So, he’s tryin’ to hold on

‘Cause it won’t be like this for long


Happy 5th Birthday Lainey Bug!


Author note:  Yes, this post is exactly one week late.  I suck.  Sometimes life just gets in the way!

Monday, August 16, 2010

Monday Minute: Ask and you shall receive.

Do you remember the last Monday Minute I did when I was all “I hate Ian’s button!”  Well, Ian emailed me and he was all “Why don’t you just use the other one then?  Duh.”  I’m not actually sure if he said “Duh” but it was definitely implied.  So, here it is:


Apparently, it’s the “Girly” button.  Whatever it is, I’ll take it! 

This week’s Monday Minute is also co-hosted by Kimber.  Once again, I know nothing about the co-hostess, but she did just take her daughter to a Bieber concert, so that gets very cool Mom points in my book.  (Even if I do want to stab Justin Bieber in the jaw.)

Moving on with the questions…

1.  If you could have plastic surgery, would you?  If so, what would you get done?

Well, it’s no secret to anyone that I have breast implants, so I guess that answers that.  Would I have more surgery?  Yes!  No, make that a Hell Yes!  I would like to get liposuction of my thighs and stomach, but Shawn has so far vetoed that.  I’m also not opposed to getting a face lift when I’m old and wrinkled!

2.  What laws have you broken?

Just the basic ones…speeding and underage drinking.  Oh, and one time in 5th grade my best friend and I stole a 50 cent figurine from the Ben Franklin store.  I still feel a little bit bad about that!

3.  What is your quirkiest habit? 

Seriously?  This is a hard question for someone with OCD.  Ok, I’ll just pick one.  I’m constantly locking the doors in my car.  As soon as I get in, the first thing I do is to lock the doors.  When I get gas, I start the pump, then get back in my car and lock the doors.  Even when Shawn is with us, if he runs into the store to buy a newspaper or something I immediately lock the doors when he gets out.  This irritates him beyond belief! 

Now that I think of it, it’s nothing short of a miracle that I’ve never locked my keys in the car!

4.  If you only had 3 songs to listen to for the rest of your life what would they be?

Holy hard question Batman!!  Let’s see.  I’d have to pick songs that I know all the words to, so I could sing along…

“I Think We’re Alone Now” by Tiffany

“Baby Got Back” by Sir-Mix-A-Lot

and this song:

One night when we were first dating Shawn sang this song to me, and after that it became “our” song :)

5.  How often do you have sex?

This is another hard question.  Sometimes once a day, sometimes once a week, sometimes once a month…sometimes once a year.  I have a feeling Shawn’s going to kill me for saying that.  If this is my last post, you’ll know why!