Thursday, December 10, 2009

What happens when you assume?

Do you remember last week when I said it was beginning to look a lot like shit?  Well, I was wrong.  Today was the 3rd day school was cancelled.  Now that is shit.  Oh, and remember when I said I wasn’t as bad of a Mom as I was making myself out to be?  Well, I officially retract that statement too.

Let’s just forget about the snow blizzard and dive right into this Mom thing.  Last Friday on snow day #1 I posted about my children (and my husband and my mom) nearly driving me to drink by 8:30 am.  Yesterday (Wednesday) was snow day #2.  Before Shawn left for work he told me school was cancelled. 

At that time I could hear that Lainey was awake so I assumed Alivia was awake too and that Shawn had fed them breakfast.  I didn’t hear a lot of noise, so I also assumed they were watching morning cartoons Shawn had turned on for them.

Hours Awhile later, Lainey came into my bedroom and said “Mom are you getting up soon?”  So I roll over, grab my glasses, and…Holy Mother of God it is 11:00!!  11:00?  Did I die?  How can it be 11:00?  And what have these children been doing all this time?

So, I go tripping down the stairs fully expecting the house to be in disarray.  Well, everything was intact, except one thing.  The couch.  The couch was moved away from the wall and pointing diagonally across the living room.  Oh, and it was literally inches from the Christmas tree.  And would you believe that neither child would confirm or deny what happened to the couch?

Now, before you go nominating me for mother of the year, there’s more.

In the evening Shawn was giving the girls their bath and I heard Alivia telling Shawn she got her own breakfast.  Wait a minute.  What?  So, I go bounding up the stairs to question this, because this just can’t be true.

Me:  “Shawn, didn’t you feed them breakfast before you left for work?”

Shawn:  “No, I gave Lainey Fruit Loops in a zip lock bag and Alivia wasn’t awake yet.”

Me:  “What?  She wasn’t awake?  Yes, she was.”

Shawn:  “No, just Lainey was.”

Me:  “Oh my gosh.  Alivia you got your own breakfast?”

Alivia:  “Yup!  (as proud as a peacock) I got my own breakfast!”

Me:  “How did you get your own breakfast?”

Alivia:  “A baggie, I put Fruit Loops in a baggie!” 

(Again, she was super proud…she had no idea the wheels were turning in Shawn’s head and he’s realizing that Mommy may have overslept)

Me:  “Wait a minute Alivia, how did you even know your school was cancelled?”

Alivia:  “Oh, I read it on the TV.”


She read it on the TV.  Now that is the shit.


Leah said...

Hahahahaha! Your kids are brilliant.

Jen said...

OMG!! Totally laughing right now! That is great!!

Oh and you said, 99 days till spring! Can't friggin wait!! When ever you want to go on that cruise let me know...I'm there!! we would have so much fun!

Christa said...

LOL. That is TOO funny! Smart kid!!

Brittany said...

hahah omg that is so funny!

Hillary said...

Wow, that's amazing! Guess you can't be too mad about the couch getting moved over.

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

You were able to sleep till 11am with kids in the house? YOu're my IDOL!

Stephanie said...

I love your kids!!!

Anonymous said...

That's awesome!! Good girl! You are not a bad mom.

Laura and Ryan said...

Thats hilarious! Oh kids are so smart...

Kristin said...

OMG, what big girls. That's awesome!

jules said...

Ha! That Alivia sounds adorable! And a smart cookie too.

Llama said...

HAHAHA! oh my goodness that is hysterical! Even though there are mysterious movings of furniture, the girls do seem to really be growing up to be strong independent girls! :)

Amy said...


And I'm super jealous that you got to sleep till 11!

Look, this is the deal...
Being a mom is hard. You try your best not to send your kids barrelling toward therapy all the while trying to please your husband, boss, friends...and oh yeah, you have to take care of yourself too.

Just goes to show that you and Shawn are doing something right. The girls didn't destroy the house while they were unsupervised. In fact they seemed like little responcible angels!

Way to go mommy:)