Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Does this lotion make my butt look big?

jergens-natural-glow I bought this lotion well over a month ago, and have been using it religiously ever since.  Not being able to notice a difference I thought I would ask my husband.  The conversation went something like this:  (oh, and please note, he had no previous knowledge of the lotion regimen)

 

Me:  “Hey, do you think my face looks tan?”

Shawn:  “Is it supposed to?”

Me:  “Just tell me.  Does. It. Look. Tan?

Shawn:  “Why, have you been laying in the tanning bed?”  (we own one)

Me:  “No.”

Shawn:  (insert very annoyed look and tone) “Well, then no!  No, it doesn’t look tan.  Why would it look tan?”

Me:  “Well, I bought this lotion and I’ve been using it for a month, but I can’t tell if it’s working?”

Shawn:  “Umm.  I think I notice a difference.  Yeah, I can definitely tell a little bit.”

 

Lies!  All lies!  He was just telling me what he thought I wanted to hear.  You know, like the “Does this make my butt look big?” question.  My husband is very people-pleaser-y.  I’m pretty sure I could have more junk in the trunk than J-Lo and he would tell me I was as skinny as one of the Olsen twins.

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For the longest time he would tell me as soon as I walked in the door from getting a haircut “Your hair looks good.  I like it.”  Seriously, he could be in the living room playing x-box with his back to me, and he would still say it!  I finally told him to shut his pie hole because clearly it wasn’t a genuine compliment anymore.

I think I may have gotten off on a tangent here.  My main point wasn’t to bash my husband, but that was a tiny bit fun.  And I do realize my husband is just trying to be nice, but an honest an opinion once in awhile would be nice too. 

So, my point was, has anyone used this lotion and noticed a difference?  Or, did I waste my 8 bucks?  Maybe there is one that works better?  Do tell.

I also bought these the other day, which will probably turn out to be a complete waste of money too:

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Crap.  Maybe I should have taken pictures of my teeth before I started using them?  I actually paid $250 to have my teeth professionally whitened a couple years ago, but I will never do that again.  For one, I got in trouble with my husband.  And, for two, the girl said I might experience a few “zingers” for a few days after the procedure.  She said “zingers,” but what she meant was electric shocks.  Seriously.  For anyone who has ever been pregnant, think of the evil crotch pain, but in your mouth!

Now if that isn’t a resounding endorsement for pregnancy and teeth whitening, I don’t know what is.

21 comments:

Kelsey Claire said...

Love it! My husband would do the exact same thing. He not so slyly tries to figure out why I am asking the question so he can figure out how to answer it. Never tried either product so I am no help.

Heather said...

I'm just a blog lurker, but I wanted to say.. you make me laugh :) Hope you are havin a happy day!

Llama said...

I have tried every self tanning lotion out there. I swear I can't find one that doesn't make me smell like funk. I like the Jergens Express Glow and feel like I get some more results...although I've pretty much given up and accepted my pale nature for the winter...yuck.
I will never get my teeth professionally whitened...EEEKKKK!...although I do like the white strips :)

Hillary said...

I've used the crest whitening strips and think they work pretty well. Do cause some sensitivity though.

On the day of a haircut my husband calls and just very timidly asks how my day is going, never directly asking about the actual appointment. Usually then he'll give me his real opinion when he see's the new due.

April said...

I've never tried that one, but I think my mom has...

I have used one by Neutrogena before... it was ok, not great. I've just come to accept that I am white white white and there's nothing I can do about it.

Anything Fits a Naked Man said...

I try very hard not to ask my husband the "do you think" questions regarding my appearance, as a rule. But when I do, I always immediately detect that "deer in the headlights" moment when he's searching his brain for the right answer! Poor guy!

Thanks for the laugh!

Laura and Ryan said...

That happened this morning before work! I asked what he thought of my hair, and without even looking, "Yeah, it looks great." Hmph!

Erin said...

I do think it makes a difference, but it's subtle, esp. for pale peeps like me. I do prefer the foaming one, however----less streaky and easier to spread than the lotion. I also think it smells less,..,.

Jen said...

Ha! When my Shawn was still alive the two of us had a very similar conversation about the same lotion. He really couldn't tell a difference, but knew I wanted him to think I was tanner. So being a guy..he told me what I wanted to hear. The story of you and your Shawn made me laugh. I however think the lotion is a rip off and didn't really work. I decided this time to skip the lotion and head straight for the tanner. I knowit's bad for me but oh-well.

Hey let me know how those teeth strips work. I saw them and wondered about them.

Dan, Claire, Jayda and Cash said...

Yes, I find that lotion does work, but if you're anything like me, I get "lines" with it because apparently I don't know how to spread it evenly...and as for the white strips - I have only gotten half way through those things - I get lazy, and some of them do make my teeth sensitive. I'd like to get through a whole pack just once...

ty said...

I've never used the self-tanner. I'm Native American, so typically I stay pretty dark, but if I don't, I prefer to kill my cells than lotion it. I know I'd screw it up and streak myself.

One Take On Life - Heather said...

I have always wondered about getting my teeth whitened, but now I am crossing that off my list of things I ever want!
I totally understand your hubby's comments, mine is the same way. Like he just wants me to tell him what the right answer is, ha!

Amy Lynn said...

Be careful what you ask for! My boyfriend is BRUTALLY honest. I wouldn't have it any other way, but sometimes I find myself wishing he would sugar coat his answers just a tad. lol...

I tried that lotion too. I think it kindda sorta worked a little, but not dramatically. The only thing I really noticed was that it made me sparkly, and my boyfriend told me I smelled funny. hahaha. (it's that honesty thing again!)

Sara said...

Huh? What is this evil pregnancy crotch pain you speak of? Why does pregnancy scare me more and more every single day?!

Amy said...

Those Olsen girls freak me the fuck out!!

I use the Jergens tan lotion on my legs and I definitely see a subtle change. It's not orange tan, it's more of a slight bronze. Very nice.

Also, they make different levels. I think I use the medium. Try going up to the next level.

jill said...

LOVE THIS!!! i've finally learned not to have anything in my mouth when i read your posts because i always end up choking when i start laughing. :) i used that lotion before i got pregnant and only noticed a difference in my feet ... they turned orange. ha! but when i got pregnant that was the one smell that made me puke, so it had to go. now i'm just going for full-on fat and pasty. and i think i'm rocking it.

loves!

Miss S said...

hehe, very amusing!
I love the crest white strips, they're awesome. Not sure about those ones though!
:)

Corrie and Phil said...

Phil is always worried that he won't notice a hair cut, so he made me promise to tell him in advance so that could "notice" it when it was done. Nice, huh?!

Stephanie said...

Oh Man! I have really been wanting to get mine whitened - really, really bad. It's not worth it at all?

Natalie said...

Speaking as a women with a hubby who only gives honest answers, sometimes it's nice to be lied to. Seriously. I KNOW I look fat. I dont' want to hear what I already know. I want you to tell me how beautiful he thinks I am regardless of how the jeans look on me.

But one time, I got 10 (!) inches cut off my hair & he didn't notice at first. Really? 10 inches? and he can't tell. MEN!

whitney said...

New to your blog...found you through Megan at inthis wonderful life ;) I used to use that lotion, but I don't think I could ever tell a difference. Now you have me wondering so I think I may try it again.