Does this lotion make my butt look big?

I bought this lotion well over a month ago, and have been using it religiously ever since.  Not being able to notice a difference I thought I would ask my husband.  The conversation went something like this:  (oh, and please note, he had no previous knowledge of the lotion regimen)

 

Me:  “Hey, do you think my face looks tan?”

Shawn:  “Is it supposed to?”

Me:  “Just tell me.  Does. It. Look. Tan?

Shawn:  “Why, have you been laying in the tanning bed?”  (we own one)

Me:  “No.”

Shawn:  (insert very annoyed look and tone) “Well, then no!  No, it doesn’t look tan.  Why would it look tan?”

Me:  “Well, I bought this lotion and I’ve been using it for a month, but I can’t tell if it’s working?”

Shawn:  “Umm.  I think I notice a difference.  Yeah, I can definitely tell a little bit.”

 

Lies!  All lies!  He was just telling me what he thought I wanted to hear.  You know, like the “Does this make my butt look big?” question.  My husband is very people-pleaser-y.  I’m pretty sure I could have more junk in the trunk than J-Lo and he would tell me I was as skinny as one of the Olsen twins.

For the longest time he would tell me as soon as I walked in the door from getting a haircut “Your hair looks good.  I like it.”  Seriously, he could be in the living room playing x-box with his back to me, and he would still say it!  I finally told him to shut his pie hole because clearly it wasn’t a genuine compliment anymore.

I think I may have gotten off on a tangent here.  My main point wasn’t to bash my husband, but that was a tiny bit fun.  And I do realize my husband is just trying to be nice, but an honest an opinion once in awhile would be nice too. 

So, my point was, has anyone used this lotion and noticed a difference?  Or, did I waste my 8 bucks?  Maybe there is one that works better?  Do tell.

I also bought these the other day, which will probably turn out to be a complete waste of money too:

Crap.  Maybe I should have taken pictures of my teeth before I started using them?  I actually paid $250 to have my teeth professionally whitened a couple years ago, but I will never do that again.  For one, I got in trouble with my husband.  And, for two, the girl said I might experience a few “zingers” for a few days after the procedure.  She said “zingers,” but what she meant was electric shocks.  Seriously.  For anyone who has ever been pregnant, think of the evil crotch pain, but in your mouth!

Now if that isn’t a resounding endorsement for pregnancy and teeth whitening, I don’t know what is.