Monday, February 14, 2011

The rest of the story.

Since you are all waiting with baited breath (NOT!), I thought I better give it up on the rest of the lies/truths from this post.  I think only 2 people picked out the one which was 100% true, can you believe it?  Ok, here we go:

1.  When I was pregnant with Alivia I went to the hospital the day before my due date, because I deemed my uterus expired.  I wasn’t even having contractions!

Not true!  I believe it was the day before that I deemed my uterus expired, and then proceeded to drink castor oil and walk on the treadmill.  Then, 6-8 hours later when I wasn’t in labor, I went to the hospital anyway.  I was not having even one single contraction, but my blood pressure was 195/110 and I had 4+ protein in my urine, so I lucked out…preeclampsia got me a bed!

2.  The rodeo clown thing…I already answered that one.

3.  Last summer when I competed in my first Duathlon, the reason I ran and biked so fast was because I was surrounded by lesbians. 

Not true!  Well, I was surrounded by lesbians, but that’s not the reason I finished so well.  However, my boss likes to say it was because I was chased by lesbians.  Don’t get me wrong I’m so not a homophobe…but it was honestly not the best day to have a short haircut!

4.  My freshman year of college I put a bomb in my ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend’s mailbox.

Not true!  I was present while the bomb was made, and I was present while the bomb was put in the mailbox, but I did not personally do any of it!  This is actually a funny story because the girl’s Mom called my Mom and accused me of blowing up her “brand new Rubbermaid mailbox!”  She said she even saw my red car.  Lucky for me, my car was parked in my parent’s driveway all night, and my Mom could confirm that.  And P.S. According to what my ex-bf told me, the mailbox wasn’t even damaged!

5.  I haven’t worked out in a month and a half.

And the truth shall set you free!  I hate to say this, but it’s true.  Sad, but true.  Next week, I have an appointment with (another) specialist, so I’m hoping to have some answers soon.  I really wanted to do the Iron Goddess Duathlon again this summer, and it’s devastating that I don’t see that happening. 

I hope everyone is having a lovely Valentine’s Day today!  Valentine’s Day is probably my least favorite holiday.  Yes, I’m a scrooge! 


Anonymous said...

I assumed there was at least a little something to all those stories. Hope the new specialist finds some answers for you. I know it's not fun when you don't feel well.

Yankee Girl said...

Hoepfully you can start working out again soon. It sucks when you want to be able to exercise but you just can't.

The mailbox wasn't even damaged??? I love that you got blamed!

Courtney said...

Hilarious! Hope you get to work out agains soon!

Christy said...

All I can do is laugh! These are pretty funny. Somehow your posts always make me laugh out loud. Keep it up:)

Llama said...

You are too funny! I think its great how you always keep us on our toes! Hoping you get some answers soon sweetie...thinking of you and wishing for the best!

Jen said...

Well, I got you beat. I haven't worked out since I started working in October. Damn my job for getting in the way of my gym schedule.

blueviolet said...

I sure hope you get some answers soon. Maybe the duathlon can still happen...

Hillary said...

Is it still your least favorite holiday with that box of cupcakes sitting on your counter?

Keep me posted, and hopefully you are feeling better soon.

Amanda M. said...

I supa dupa hope you're feeling better soon and get answers soon (I know that feeling of waiting on answers in limbo). I will keep you in my prayers, chica!

One Take On Life - Heather said...

I hope you get some answers at your apt. I can't imagine how frustrating this must all be.
Love the uterus expried one, that is so true around a woman's due date:)