30 things I’ve learned in 30 years.

(in no particular order)

1. It’s much easier to get a dog up into a tree house than it is to get it down.
2. Being a middle child almost never has it’s advantages.
3. Having your Dad buy you a station wagon with wood on the sides for your 16th birthday will make you cry at the time, but 14 years later you just might be able to laugh about it.
4. It’s physically possible for a baby to poop, pee, and puke on you at the same time.
5. Being a size 0 doesn’t make you a better person, but it does feel damn good!
6. Breast implants don’t last forever, and you may want to have spare money set aside for the next time you get your tit in a ringer.
7. You can’t change other people, and it’s rude to try.
8. Pregnancy is not nearly as glamorous as they make it seem on television.
9. No matter what you do, there will always be critics.
10. When people judge you, it says more about them, than it does about you.
11. You can’t fart and paint it green.
12. Telling your 35 year old husband that if he continues playing Xbox, you’re going to start playing with Cabbage Patch Kids and Barbie's will not even phase him.
13. Deleting someone from MySpace or Face book does not delete them from your life.
14. Blame is the favorite pastime of those who dislike responsibility.
15. If I could pick my family, I would pick the family I have.
16. Walking down Daytona Beach wearing a thong is almost never a good idea.
17. Your husband can be your worst enemy or your best friend.  I recommend choosing the latter.
18. Be truthful or be quiet.  Lies are hard to keep track of.
19. You really can have too much of a good thing…Honey crisp apples are an example of this!
20. It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.
21. It is 100 times more difficult to burn calories, than to refrain from consuming them in the first place.
22. Chocolate and shopping really are therapeutic.
23. Dancing is always more fun when done on a table, speakers, or even a chair.  Trust me, I know.
24. If on your honeymoon you break the bed, do not tell anyone.  You will never ever in a million years live it down.
25. If you choose a career you love, you will never work a day in your life.
26. Taking time for yourself makes you a better wife and mother.
27. Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.
28. When the truth sets you free, it usually beats the crap out of someone else.
29. Having one child makes you a parent, having two children makes you a referee.
30. Accepting that where you are at this moment in your life is exactly where you’re meant to be, is very empowering.