Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.

Several bloggers have emailed me wanting to know my “weight loss secrets,” and since this happens to be today’s topic at Kelly's Korner, I’m finally going to oblige.

Oh, and if you were one of those people who emailed me, I apologize for not getting back to you. It’s not that I was ignoring you, it’s just that I didn’t feel like I had any advice to give because there really isn’t a weight loss secret! I will tell you what worked for me though…

Get on the Scale! This seems simple enough, right? When I was gaining weight I hated to get on the scale because I didn’t want to know how fat I was. But, in order to see your progress, you have to know your starting point. My scale also calculates body fat, which is nice because as you build muscle you might occasionally gain weight. So, with the body fat scale you will be able to see that even if your weight goes up, your body fat may have gone down!

Set Reasonable Goals! My goal was to lose 30 pounds by my 30th birthday, and I set this goal on my 29th birthday, so I had a whole year to do it. Giving myself a year made it easier because there were certainly ups and downs where I gained instead of lost, but I didn’t get discouraged knowing I still had plenty of time to reach my goal.

Try on your skinny clothes. Yes, this sounds weird, but just listen. The summer before I started exercising I was cleaning out my closet and I found a pair of shorts, which definitely did not fit. I squeeeeezed myself into them, and then went over to my husband and said, "Hey Shawn, check it out! Fat girl in little shorts!" I think he threw up in his mouth, but oh well. Over the next year, I would periodically get that one pair of shorts out and try them on. It was a great way to track my progress, and by the end of last summer I put them on and they fell right off!

Exercise! If I had to give one weight loss “secret,” exercise would definitely be it! You can use a calculator like this to determine how many calories you need to burn everyday to lose or maintain your current weight. I know gym memberships are expensive, mine is $95/month (!), but you don’t need a gym to exercise. Let me guess? You don’t like to run, or it’s cold where you live so you can’t workout outside right now? That’s okay! My husband can vouch for the fact that during the winter I have been known to run up and down our stairs for exercise! I don’t just mean a couple times either. I would have my husband set a timer and I would run the stairs for 5 minutes at a time, and in between I would do jumping jacks for a minute. And, before I had hand weights, I did arm curls with soup cans!

If running your stairs and lifting soup cans might get you a stint in a mental ward, then get an exercise DVD. The absolute best DVD I have is the “Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred.”

This DVD is only $8.99 right now at Amazon, and trust me, it’s worth Every. Single. Penny. I consider myself to be in very good cardiovascular shape and this DVD still kicks my arse every time!

Lift Weights. I know weights can be intimidating, especially the weight machines at the gym, but building muscle is very important in order to lose and then maintain that weight. Did you know that one pound of muscle burns an additional 35-50 calories/day? Studies have also shown that weight training increases your metabolic rate! Oh, and women, don’t worry about getting bulky from lifting weights. Why? Women do not have enough of the male hormone, testosterone, to get big muscles. Trust me, my arms are totally ripped, but you can’t really tell unless I flex. Just ask Hillary and Amber, they were practically begging me to flex my triceps last summer while we were trying on clothes at Banana Republic!

Get off your Butt! Yeah, yeah, I know…this goes along with exercise. However, I’m talking about during your regular daily activities. When I work and I’m circulating in the OR, there is lots of time to sit down during cases. But, why sit when you could stand? Standing or moving around burns more calories!

Count calories and write it down! This sounds simple too, but I bet some of you have NO idea how many calories you’ve consumed today. Ignorance is bliss, right? Once you’ve looked at the calories you might realize, Hey, maybe this is why I’m getting so fat? Don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to survive on carrots sticks and celery to lose weight. If you drink pop, then change to Diet pop. That alone can cut a lot of calories since one 12 oz can of regular coke has 140 calories! You’re a chocoholic? Hello, you’re preaching to the choir! Nobody likes chocolate more than me, so stock up on these:

One disclaimer though. 100 calorie snacks are useless if you eat 3 or 4 at a time. My sister tried this, and it doesn’t work.

The Internet is your Friend. If you like to go out to eat, like me, you can usually check out the restaurant’s menu ahead of time on their website. Even if they don’t list the nutritional facts on their website, try Googling the item you want to order or the restaurant and 99% of the time you can find the nutritional information that way. Being prepared ahead of time will keep you from freaking out at the restaurant and feeling like you have to order water and lettuce. You can also use the internet to find training programs, food and exercise logs, and basically anything and everything you need to help you reach your goals.

Try something new. After you’ve been working out for a long time you will probably get bored. When you get bored, you might want to quit. When you quit, you get fat. End of story. So, don’t get bored! Try training for a race (start with a 5K if you’re not a runner), get a new workout DVD, or join a group fitness class. Getting bored is actually how I found spinning, which I now love!

Go to the doctor. If you’ve been working out consistently, and counting your calories and you’re still not losing weight, there could be a medical reason. Sometimes, something as simple as getting your thyroid checked can reveal the answer! When I started exercising over a year ago I literally could not lose a pound. I went to the doctor, and decided to go off all of the medicines I was taking. Almost all of them caused weight gain with long term use. I did go on different meds though, and I may or may not have stretched the truth to get on one medicine which actually has a side effect of weight loss!

Do. Not. Diet. Whenever I hear a family member, friend, or co-worker say they are going on a “diet,” I just want to scream! You don’t need a diet. You need a lifestyle change. Do not start any exercise program or diet that you can’t maintain for the rest of your life. You don’t agree with me? Ok, well how long did you keep off those 3-5 pounds you lost on the 2 week Special K Diet?

Don’t Give Up! There will definitely be weeks where you don’t lose any weight, or where you might even gain. Don’t get discouraged, and don’t beat yourself up. If I can lose weight, then you can too! I know you’re thinking, yeah right you weren’t overweight to begin with. Okay, well I wasn’t morbidly obese, I’ll give you that. Yes, it’s easier for someone who is 20 pounds overweight to work out, than it is for someone who is 100 pounds overweight. However, at my weight I had to workout twice as hard to lose weight as the morbidly obese person does.

So, there you have it (and I’m sorry it was so long)! Those are my tips on how I became a Skinny Bitch. Well, actually those were just my tips on getting skinny, I’m a Bitch all on my own!

Mrs. Roth to the principal’s office, please.

Everyone has seen “The Blind Side,” right?  If you haven’t, then what’s your problem?

Do you remember the part where Michael calls Leanne “Mrs. Tuohy” and she says, “You can call me Leanne or Mama, but don’t call me Mrs. Tuohy.  When I hear Mrs. Tuohy I look over my shoulder for my mother-in-law.”

When we saw the movie, Shawn looked at me and chuckled during that part because he knows I hate being called “Mrs. Roth.”

It was only within the last year and a half when Alivia started elementary school that I became “Mrs. Roth.”  I’m not sure why, but it never occurred to me that my children’s friends would call me this. 

It’s not just the kids either.  It’s the teachers, and the principal!  Now, I know the principal because I’m on the Home & School Board/Committee, so can’t he at least call me by my first name?

It’s not that I have anything against my husband’s last name, it’s just that it isn’t mine.  It’s a good last name for him, and even for my kids, but just not for me.  When we got married, I didn’t even want to change my last name, but when I told Shawn this he acted like I was cutting off his left nut.  Like I said, it’s nothing personal, and I wasn’t trying to make any sort of statement, but my old last name was just…better. 

My maiden name was Moon.  Now, is that a totally bad ass last name, or what?  My sister-in-law’s name is Mary, so now her name is Mary Moon, awesome!  She even has a song about her!

As a side note, when they got married, the DJ did not even play this song!  He didn’t even have it with him!  When I called him out on it (which you know I did), he said he didn’t even make the connection until he was there at the reception, and then he laughed.  Hardy, har, har.  Thanks for nothing.   

So, anyway.  Do I have to accept this whole “Mrs. Roth” thing, or what?  Today, when I was at Alivia’s school I may or may not have told the principal to stop calling me Mrs. Roth.  From what I remember, it may have come out rude.  I think he was asking for it though.  He walked by me in the office and said “Hello Mrs. Roth!  How are you?!”  I looked up and smiled.  Then he said, “That’s all I get?”  To which I replied, “I don’t like being called Mrs. Roth.” 

I really couldn’t believe it even came out of my mouth.  It was at that point, that I was incredibly thankful the principal wasn’t a nun anymore.

What’s the secret?

A few months ago I posted about a situation at the Gap where they didn’t have my size, and the lady told me there were no smaller sizes (like in the whole wide world). I later found the item online, and ordered it in the next smaller size, which ended up being a 00. I am definitely not a 00, I am more likely a 2. But whatever, if the skirt fits, wear it! (It really was a skirt, ha!)

But, my question is this…why can’t stores just size their clothes according to your actual size? Why in an effort to make people feel better about themselves did they change the sizing of clothes? A doctor that I work with once joked that his wife was a size 2 when they got married 25 years ago and she’s still a size 2, but only because what used to be a size 6 is now a size 2!

Ok, onto Victoria’s Secret. Is it possible that they are doing this too? With your boob size? Come on now, if you’re an A cup, you have to know. You don’t just go into Victoria’s Secret one day and suddenly you’re a B cup, and you believe it. Your boobs didn’t grow, and you know it.

Just after Christmas I went to Victoria’s Secret to get some new bras. I picked my size up off the shelf, tried them on, and every single one of them looked like this:

I was completely busting out of the top of every single bra, no matter what the cup fit was! After the 3rd bra, I turned the call light on for the sales woman to help me. She (unhappily) went and got the next bigger cup size, but it was the same thing. When I showed her the “situation” she said, “I actually think that’s a pretty good fit.” What? Yeah, a pretty good fit for a hooker.

I stupidly ended up buying 2, to see if I felt any different about them when I got them home. I still felt like a prostitute, but what do you know? Shawn thought they were a good fit too!

So, I ended up taking them back, and ordering the same exact bras I had before from Victoria’s Secret online since they didn’t have them in the store. Well, they came today. And, it’s the same thing. Cleavage, and lots of it. I decided to keep them anyway, just in case I decide to make a career change.

Jumping off the band wagon.

I was going to participate in Kelly's Korner “Show Us How You Live” today, since the theme is “New Year’s Resolutions/Goals” and I haven’t posted about mine yet.

I have enjoyed reading about all of your goals and resolutions for the year, so I thought and thought about what mine should be.  I really, truly did.  Pinky Swear.

The more I thought about it though, the more I felt like New Year’s Resolutions are just pointing out the things I suck at.  There are definitely some things I suck at, but there are also a lot of things I’m good at too.  The things I’m good at take up a lot of time and energy though, so what if I changed a few of those things?  It would not make me a better person at all, but it might be fun for awhile.

1. Exercise Less.  I have spent countless hours in the last year running, spinning, crunching, and weight lifting.  Just think about all the naps I could have taken, books I could have read, or Oreos I could have eaten instead.
2. Eat More.  I gained 30 pounds when I was on my Oreo, M&M, Pizza, Ice Cream, and Diet Coke Diet…I bet I could beat that if I really tried! 
3. Sleep in More.  I don’t really like getting up at 7 am and I see other Mom’s dropping their kids off to school late, so why not me too?  Maybe I could be late for work everyday too?
4. Cook Less.  If I’m being honest here, I only make dinner 5 times a month or less.  But, why not make it zero?
5. Become a bad driver.  I'm thinking about tailgating, weaving in and out of traffic, flipping people off, and honking my horn more.  My husband does most of these things, and it looks like a lot of fun.
6. Be less organized and clutter my house up.  By the end of 2010 I would like my house to be enough of a disaster that we could be on the show “Hoarders.” 
7. Drink More.  Have you seen “Intervention” on A & E?  Some of those rehab places they go to look pretty cushy, and I could totally use a vacation!
8. Spend more money.  Starting tomorrow, I’m taking my credit cards out of the freezer, renting a U-Haul, and maxing the cards out.  The U-Haul?  Oh, well it’s for the sectional, stainless steel appliances, dresser, kitchen table, and flat screen TV I’m going to buy.
9. Be frumpier.  Doing my hair, putting my make up on, and putting together a cute outfit take up entirely too much time everyday.  I’m thinking sweat pants are definitely the way to go!
10. Party like a rock star.  Being a wife and mommy is fun, but I never went through a partying stage, so why not start at age 30?  I’m sure my husband won’t mind.

Ok, so that’s it for now.  Please feel free to comment and add your own!  You know want to!

I knew I was…

There is an infamous story between my parent’s and I about a Shark vacuum my Mom bought a few years ago.  I owned a Shark, and my Mom fell in love with it and wanted to purchase one too.  One day, she was at Kohl’s with my Dad and she had some gift cards to spend.  Apparently, my Mom was taking her sweet time, and my Dad was trying to rush her along.  At one point, my Mom said she was almost done shopping, but she still wanted to go look at the Shark vacuum’s and buy one.  In an attempt to move things along, my Dad said he would go grab the vacuum.  He got a vacuum, they paid, and went on their merry way.

The story doesn’t end there though.  Sometime within the next month my Mom was at my house again and saw my Shark vacuum.  It was at that point that she realized my Dad had gotten the very cheapest Shark vacuum.  You could argue that it was an accident, but we all knew it wasn’t, he purposely picked the cheapest one.

Apparently, when my Mom got home she confronted my Dad about it.  My Dad may have found it a little funny.  Rumor has it my mom was so exasperated that she said, “I took one look at Tami’s vacuum and I knew I was F***ed!”

So onto my point.  Have you ever had that happen to you?  You take one look at something, and you immediately know you’re screwed?

Last night I was putting away some magazines, and I saw the cover of the American Girl Doll Magazine which had come in the mail.  Well, I took one look at that magazine and I knew I was screwed.  This was on the cover:

Plastered all over the cover was also, “Introducing the 2010 Doll of the Year, Lanie!”

Yes, I realize the spelling is different, but the doll’s name is still Lainey, no matter how you spell it.  I immediately panicked and hid the magazine.  My kid’s hadn’t seen it yet, so I thought I might be in the clear.  Then I remembered that that magazine comes every couple months.  Can I possibly intercept it every single time?  And, then!  I remembered that we’re going to Atlanta for Spring Break and Shawn’s Aunt (who we’re visiting) already mentioned going to the American Girl Doll store.  We are so screwed.

I’ve already accepted that the doll is as good as ours, it’s only a matter of time.  Shawn says no way.  Upon closer inspection, the doll has green eyes and our Lainey also has green eyes.  The doll also has curly blond hair and bangs, which our Lainey also has.  It’s almost like it’s destiny!  Apparently, Shawn doesn’t believe in destiny. 

I do think the $95 doll did start looking better to him though, when I mentioned this $295 camper and gear, which apparently are all part of “Lanie’s outdoor adventure!”

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!

Ok, I actually didn’t win anything, I just felt like saying that.  I do feel like I’ve one something though!

Remember the shoe fiasco with Alivia last month? 

The last day of school before Christmas break we went back to the shoe store, and found the Merrell’s on sale for $30.00.  I snatched them up, but wasn’t going to let her wear them right away.  Shawn asked me if she could wear them to school today, and I of course said NO WAY!  I wanted him to call the bus garage one more time, just in case they showed up over Christmas break.  He was totally pissy about it and didn’t see the point, but did agree to do it.

Well, Lo and Behold, they found the shoe!  I’m excited because that’s 30 bucks back in my pocket, and Alivia’s thrilled that she doesn’t have to stack wood with Grandpa to earn the money for the shoes!  However, I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’m a little concerned as to what condition the shoe will be in when she gets it back tomorrow.

My next stroke of luck today came with my Bosu Ball.I have been using the Bosu ball at the gym for months and really wanted my own for home.  Well, that is, until I found out they were $100!  I thought that was a little extravagant, even for me:)  Lucky me, I got a few Target gift cards for Christmas, and I saw the ball on their website, so I had planned on ordering one.  I’m glad I didn’t though, because it was in their ad this week for $99 and you got a free $20 Target gift card with purchase!  WooHoo!

I bought mine today, blew it up myself and have already done a few arm curls!  I won’t mention that at the time I was also alternately reaching in my sweatshirt pocket to eat M&M’s which I was hiding from my kids.  That little fact is just not important.

And, last but not least, who likes flavored coffee creamer?

I do!  I do!  What would you do if I said I got 8 of these 16 oz flavored (liquid) creamers for $1.50?  That’s $1.50 total!  For reals!  They are on sale this week at Meijer (that’s Meijer, not Meijer’s people!) for $0.99, and if you go to Coffee Mate’s website you can get coupons for $1.00 off one and $1.50 off two.  Now, we don’t normally hoard things like coffee creamer, but we seriously felt like we’d won the lottery!  And, we don’t even drink coffee!  Just kidding, we do.

If my luck the last two days is any indication of how my year is going to be, it’s definitely going to be a great one! 

I’ve seen a million faces and I’ve rocked them all.

It has been pretty much drama free around our house, so I haven’t had much to blog about. So, I thought I’d steal this questionnaire from Jen to wrap up 2009.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

The only thing I can think of is that I ran a 5K. I also started spinning, but as you all know I had actually done that one other time:)

(that’s me with the green bandana, and my super cool cousin, Hillary beside me)

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more next year?

Well, I actually sort of made my resolution for the year in November. My resolution was to lose 30 pounds in the next year (by my 30th birthday), and at last count I’m still at 28 pounds lost. I’m not going to give up on those last 2 pounds though! Another resolution was to pay off credit card debt, and not use credit cards. I’m happy to report that we’re at about 99% on that resolution! Oh, and I’m not sure what my resolutions are for 2010.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes! My brother and sister-in-law had a baby boy, Ethan Joseph, on September 30. My sister and brother-in-law also just had their 4th baby on December 29, Ryan James.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No, I don’t think so. I hope I’m not missing anyone, but I really don’t think so.

5. What countries did you visit?

None! Boo, I don’t even have a passport. Maybe that should be a 2010 goal though?

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

Hmm… “Have?” I will say granite countertops! Ha! I do actually have a better answer for this question, but am going to keep quiet on it.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Probably November 7th, my 30th birthday. I have no reason why, except that it was a milestone birthday. Also, December 24th and 25th will be etched in my memory for sure.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

My biggest achievement is most definitely losing 28 pounds. When I set my 30 pound weight loss goal, I honestly didn’t think I would be able to even come close to that!

9. What was your biggest failure?

I think my biggest failure is not being 100% credit card debt free, and not having more money saved. We are getting there though!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Ha, I don’t think I will ever have a year where I am illness or injury free! Other than my busted boob, I am also still dealing with post herpetic neuralgia from Shingles which I had almost 2 years ago.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Other than my new boobs, probably my iPod Touch. I love that thing!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Definitely both of my daughter’s! Alivia learned to read this year, learned to ride a bike, and started 1st grade! Lainey started preschool, is learning all of her letters and sounds, learned to write her name, and is becoming much more independent!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled or depressed?

There is one woman I work with whose behavior definitely appalled me, and hurt my feelings.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Pfft! Well, let see…my kids, bills, my kids, bills…need I say more?

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Probably vacations! We went to Florida, we spent a week at Silver Lake during the summer, and also a few weekend trips here and there.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus. Ugh. Did I just say that out loud?

17. Compared to this time last year, are (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?

I think I am probably the same level of happiness, and have the same amount of money. I am most definitely thinner though!

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Cooking. I would really like to become a good cook, but it just takes too much time and planning. Maybe this year? Probably not though.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

I wish I’d spent less time trying to please people that will never be pleased anyway.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

We opened gifts with our girls at our house on Christmas morning, then spent the rest of the day at my parents house with my family. It was very nice.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?

Fall in love, no. Stay in love, yes.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

I’d have to say Biggest Loser. I just love that show!

23. Do you hate anyone now that you did not hate this time last year?

Hate is a strong word, but yes.

24. What was the best book you read?

I read all of Emily Giffin’s books this year (except Babyproof, which I got for Christmas) and I loved them all.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

My greatest musical discovery was that due to the fact that my radio never leaves XM Disney, I have no idea what music is popular for adults anymore!

26. What did you want and get?

I could probably name a lot of things, but one of my favorites is the necklace from Tiffany’s my husband got me for my birthday. I have wanted it for 2 years!

27. What did you want and not get?

A sectional for my living room, a new bedroom dresser, new countertops, stainless steal appliances, a Toyota Solara convertible… Ha! I have a very long “want” list! I don’t honestly “need” any of these things though.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

The Blind Side, for sure!

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 30, and I didn’t do much during the day but that night we went out to dinner with my parents, then came home and had cake.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I have a very good answer for this question, but again, can’t say it here. I’m totally sorry, I hate to be like that!

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

Seriously? Like duh. Dead Sexy, that’s how I’d describe it. Hehehe…

32. What kept you sane?

Working out, hands down.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I have absolutely no idea! I can tell you what celebrity/public figure I did NOT fancy the most though!

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

I’m not easily stirred by political issues. However, I will say that I thought watching Obama’s inauguration was very cool.

35. Who did you miss?

I miss a good friend that I used to work with, and I will always miss my grandparents. Especially, my Grandma, I wish she could be here to see my kids grow up.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

To start, I’ve meet a couple of great people at the gym who are always encouraging me. Also one person that I haven’t met yet in person, but has become a great blogging buddy and friend through email and chat is Jen.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.

No matter what you do, there will always be critics.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

“I’ve seen a million faces and I’ve rocked them all.” (ha!)