Sunday, July 19, 2009

No Sweaters Please.

As someone who has had a gym membership for the past 3 years I have a growing list of suggestions I would like to make for rules that should be established. For instance, no farting on the cardio machines; and if you do fart, please don't try to pretend like it wasn't you. Another rule might be, no grunting on the weight machines, unless you're lifting over 500 pounds.

I realized while watching Shawn and the girls swim today that there would need to be a separate list just for the pool area. This is what I have so far, and please feel free to add your own suggestions:

  • No sweaters. By this I mean, any man (or woman?) whose chest and back are 50% or more covered with hair, please refrain from using the pool. Or, if you choose to swim, please wear a wetsuit.
  • No pure white bathing suits. I see this every time we go to the pool, the worst violation was an 80 year old man wearing 50 year old white swim trunks with no liner.
  • No speedos, no explanation needed.
  • Please refrain from bringing purses, cell phones, or books to the hot tub. Who knew this even needed to be a rule, but I saw one woman today with ALL three of these things!
  • If you're going to use the designated lap swim lanes, please actually know how to swim laps, don't just get in there and flop around like it's your first time in a pool.
  • Please buy and wear a bathing suit that's actually your size. I understand that women want to wear bikinis, but sometimes not everyone wants to watch you test the powers of spandex and lycra technology.


Hillary said...

Yeah so luckily I've never seen a guy in an all white bathing suit, and I actually think it's strange that you see one everytime.

I agree these are all good rules, but maybe only necessary at your gym. The farting treadmill one is universal though.

Amber said...

I second that!!!