Wednesday, August 26, 2009

You’re not my friend anymore!

In my adult working life I have seen first hand how mean and vicious women can be, especially to other women. Did you ever wonder when and why this behavior started? Well, friends, I have figured out the “when.”

Alivia has gone to the same daycare since she was 3 months old. She only goes 2-3 days a week, but she has made several good friends there over the past (almost) 6 years. When she was 4 she started preschool at Assumption school, where she would be starting kindergarten the next year. Now, the daycare does have a preschool, but we thought it would be best for her to go to preschool at Assumption, so that her transition into kindergarten would be smoother. Who knew such a small decision could turn a 4 year old into an outcast? Who knew you had to attend a daycare 5 days a week in order to maintain friendships?

I shouldn’t be so dramatic because I suppose her becoming an outcast didn’t happen instantly at that time, but it has been more of a slow progression. The worst part for me, is that Alivia adores these girls at her daycare, and they can be downright mean to her.

What? What’s that you say? How can 5 and 6 year olds be so mean? Let me tell you! In the past 3 month Alivia has:

  • Received what I have lovingly coined “hate mail” in her backpack
  • Been excluded from a girl’s birthday party who was included in Alivia’s Libby Lou birthday party last year
  • Been kicked out of a talent show routine while we were on vacation
  • Been told her outfit didn’t match (trust me, it did match!) and that brown was a boy color
  • Been made fun of for riding a bike with training wheels. As a side note, now that her training wheels are off, some of her “friends” have asked to ride her bike, and Alivia has happily shared.
  • Been excluded from what her friends were playing, with the reason of “This is a 6 year old activity, and you’re only 5!”

The list could honestly go on and on. My point is this: When do women turn into mean, conniving bitches? 5 years old people, 5 years old.


Amber said...

Glory has many Frenemies at school also! One of them told her yesterday, "Glory you SUCK!"
WTH??? She also told me today that if she tucked in her shirt EVERYONE in school was going to call her a Dork and she didn't want to be a Dork! I hate all of the pressure to fit in put on our kids at such a young age! It really does SUCK!!!

RN Mama said...

I agree Amber! If all of these "cool qualifications" existed when I was in school, I would have been a total dory outcast!

The one good thing about my girls going to a private school is that for the most part, this type of behavior isn't tolerated.

Oh, and I'm so afraid of what Alivia's "Frenemies" (awesome term, by the way!) at daycare are going to think when she shows up next week wearing her plaid uniform. Even I think the plaid is ugly, so I can only imagine what they're going to say...

RN Mama said...

Oops, that was supposed to say "dorky" not "dory!" See, I am a dork!

Laura and Ryan said...

I think it is so sad how cruel kids can be! Where do they get it from? Do you think it has something to do with TV or all the teeny/kid movies?

RN Mama said...


I honestly don't know where kids get it from. I hate to be one of those people who blame the parents, but when this is happening at 5 and 6 years old I think the parents are definitely somewhat to blame. From what I have heard from some friends who are teachers, they are hardly allowed to discipline kids. I can tell you there is a huge difference from Alivia's "Catholic school friends" and her public school daycare friends. Certainly all public schools are not like that though.

Hillary said...

That's so sad, Alivia is the coolest kid in class for sure! Maybe the girls at school are jealous of her catholic school girl duds b/c I'm sure she looks super cute and I would have been jealous if I were 5 too!