Weekend Update…or not.

I don’t usually do weekend updates, because let’s face it, my weekends are boring.  However, this week I was going to do a weekend update because something fantabulous was going to happen.  But, it didn’t.

On Saturdays there is a 90 minute endurance spin class at the gym, which I have been wanting to go to for a long time.  It’s a paid class though, and I never signed up because I am lazy and like to sleep in was afraid I wouldn’t make it every week, and didn’t want to waste money.  I found out last week though, that if you show up the day of the class and pay $8, then you’re totally in!

So, we woke up at the butt crack of dawn, because our gym is 1/2 hour away, and what do you know?  We were still 5 minutes late.  Oh well, I was still in because the teacher is cool like that, and I think she still feels bad for making me puke that day.

So, there I was with my bad ass spin shoes, thinking this was going to be a walk in the park.  Um.  Yeah.  I was wrong.  Way wrong.

First of all, everyone else in there (besides me) was hardcore.  I don’t know exactly what they were all hardcore at, I just know that they were.  Trust me.  They all had two water bottles, were wearing padded bike shorts, and had a heart rate monitor.  All I had was the shoes.  But, I was a little bit proud of the shoes.

Second of all, it turns out it was an endurance class, but not so much on the first day of the class.  The first thing she had us do was to ride as fast and hard as we could for 5 minutes.  5 whole minutes.  She said it needed to be an “all out effort.”  Then she asked what “all out effort meant?”  And a dude in the back yelled out, “Heart Attack!”  And she yelled said, “Yes!”  It was at that point that I knew I was screwed.

Somehow I made it through the class (without puking!), and when we were stretching at the end the instructor asked me what I was training for?  I told her I wasn’t training for anything.  She said I had to be.  Apparently, people don’t come to a 90 minute spin class just so they can leave and eat one of these:

Which is exactly what I did.  This is where things get bad.  This is where the fantabulous thing that was going to happen on Saturday night went right out the window.  All for a donut.

Saturday was my friend Abbie’s birthday.  A group of girls was all going to go to Mega 80’s at the Intersection in Grand Rapids.

Everyone I know who has gone to this has said it is the Best. Time. Ever.  I even bought a new shirt, which my daughter told me today I “wasted.”

As it turns out 90 minutes of spin, followed by a chocolate custard filled donut do not mix well.  Who knew?

So, I ended up in bed all day watching:

 

and

Good times.  I actually feel a little bit dumber today after watching all that.  There is some good news though.  While I was laying there rotting my brain, I had a revelation. 

I was thinking about Heidi (spin instructor) asking me what I was training for.  And, I thought why don’t I train for something?  I’ve been wanting to do a 25K or 1/2 marathon, but I can’t run outside in the winter and running on the treadmill makes me homicidal, so that’s out.  I can run a short distance on the treadmill, and clearly I can spin (well, kind of), so where does that leave me?

Triathlon?!  Hel-lo?  Why didn’t I think of this earlier?  Except, I can’t swim.  That presents a problem.

However, when I was looking up triathlons, I found out about duathlons!  A “duathlon” is run, bike, run.  I can do that!  I was all ready to sign up for one, and then I realized I don’t have a bike.  Ok, well I’ll just buy one.

Yeah, right.  The cheapest one I could find that I liked was $780.00.  So, I formulated a plan.  I asked Shawn if he would be my sponsor.  He thought I meant a sponsor for AA, so he said yes (which I find odd).  When I told him that I wanted him to sponsor me in a race and buy me a bike he said, No.  He claims he already gives me all his money, so how would it be any different?  He might have a point. 

Lucky for me, I came up with a better plan today, and it just might work.  And, no, it doesn’t involve me wearing the Victoria’s Secret bras which made me look like a stripper.  It doesn’t involve selling plasma either, which is what Shawn told me to do.

So, I’m hoping on June 27 I will be doing this:

 

I didn’t sign up yet, but I’m hoping that if I put it out here in the blogosphere, that you all will hold me accountable?