Friday, February 26, 2010

Tami is a mean girl.

meangirls11

Ok, I’m going to come out of the closet here.  However, I have a feeling that I’m not the only mean girl out there.  You know what though, I don’t even know if I’m truly that mean because some of these things I just think, I don’t necessarily say them.  Wait a minute, I do say them, just not to the person’s face.  Ok, wait.  Yeah, I’m mean.

 

  • Last weekend I took Alivia roller skating.  When we got there I saw a middle-aged lady in rollerblades wearing a helmet.  Later, I saw her up close, and I realized she was handicapped, so I figured that must be why she was wearing the helmet.  But, then I thought “Wait a minute, she’s already handicapped, so what does she need a helmet for?”

 

  • Just now when I typed that, I really wanted to say “ratard” instead of handicapped.  You know, like in “The Hangover?”  I didn’t say ratard though, because that’s just mean.

 

  • Friday morning is notoriously the hardest spin class of the week.  Think Jillian Michaels.  This morning there was an empty bike next to me that was already set up, but no one was on it.  I kept wondering where the person was, then at 9:31 (class starts at 9:30), this girl comes bouncing in still wearing her coat and boots and is all like “I made it!  I made it!”  Um, no you didn’t.  Class started at 9:30 and you’re dressed for snowmobiling, not spinning.  She then starts giggling and talking nonstop to her friend next to her, who had apparently set up her bike (which I personally think is illegal).  When she finally started riding, she immediately started groaning and complaining.  In between groans, she continued the incessant chatter and giggling.  The teacher even called her out on it.  It was all I could do not to push her off her bike and say “Get out of here Fatty McGiggles!”

 

  • I bought my husband a Cadbury Egg.  But, then I ate it.  In the bathroom.  While I was hiding from my kids and listening to my iPod.  I don’t think that’s mean though.  He didn’t even know about the egg, well, until now.

 

  • I laughed at my husband when he said he wanted to get a new car.  I’m still laughing. 

 

  • A couple weeks ago, a girl at my work had a hickie.  For real, a 45 year old woman with a hickie.  We had a whole tube of surgi-lube (think KY) that was going to get thrown out because it was expired.  I put it in her locker with a note that said “For your husband.”  Oh, and we made fun of her for the hickie.  I still don’t think that was mean though, she was asking for it by coming to work with a hickie and then trying to cover it up with a Band-Aid.

 

I feel better now.  This is not one of my better posts, and I will probably get hated on for saying ratard.  That’s ok though.  I really just had to post something so the pianoboobpicture wouldn’t be at the top of my blog anymore.  It was making me feel slutty, and I swear that shirt must have gotten lower cut as the night went on.  It happens.  Oh, and to all the preverts, thanks for the compliments on my boobs.

17 comments:

ms. mindless said...

i'm dying of laughter right now. we may be the very same mean girl. haha!

Kelsey Claire said...

You are such a mean girl... I don't think I can be friends with you...Just kidding! I am also a mean girl!

Leah said...

You are mean Tami but I love you girl. I almost peed in my pants from laughing. You are just too hilarious.

PS... next time, push that girl from the bike and don't hesitate. Hahaha! I am mean too.

Have a great weekend! xoxo

Danielle said...

Thanks for a Friday night laugh...I'm glad I'm not the only mean girl when it comes to classes. There are two chicks in my Zumba class that I want to slug everytime they shimmy there humungo hanging out of their bedazzled shirt boobs...and I mean really hanging out of bedazzled shirts that say "Fab U Lous...then continue to giggle to get everyones attention to watch their shimmying boobs. And they are super loud and obnoxious

Christine said...

I am pretty sure I am a mean girl too because I just died laughing...pretty much from the first sentence! That woman with the hicky deserves everything coming to her!!

Michelle said...

Yeah I think the bike girl deserves a little push....take a pic if you do it!

Miss S said...

Everyone has an inner mean girl! You're just brave enough to admit it! :)

One Take On Life - Heather said...

You are hilarious! I love that you say what you think. We all have mean thoughts sometimes.

Hillary said...

Nothing was too mean, until you called all of us who commented on your boobs perverts, that was just plain mean:)

I probably would have said something to the girl on the bike, it would have pissed me off too much not too.

The Cadbury Egg things totally reasonable. Oh, but you should totally let Shawn get a new car. Nobody should have to drive a bad-ass strat-ass that long.

I'm Jane said...

Oooooo...you said the R word.....If you don't post by Sunday, we'll know that you were taken out by Sarah Palin with a sniper rifle in a helicopter. :-)

Corrie and Phil said...

As always, thanks for another good laugh. Needed it today!

d.a.r. said...

OMG I just pissed my pants laughing reading this. Z calls me a ratard all of the time...haha!

Um yeah, so at Spin on Thurs morning, this old guy came in reeking of smoke, wearing sweats, a headband, and a down coat. And he wore it for the entire hour. I was drenched after 10 minutes wearing only a tank and shorts....let's just say that he reeked!!

Stephanie said...

"are you cross-eyed?" Mean girl!!! I still love your humor!

Tracie said...

Yikes! Your spin class is hard core. (says Fatty McGiggles) If I had a hicky I'd call off sick to save myself from the embarrassment.

jv726 said...

Love this post :) I also think you should have pushed the girl off the bike, she probably would have still been giggling and chatting as she hit the ground.
I think mean things all the time, and I'm pretty sure that is ok :) I usually only tell my husband all the mean things I am thinking, but I don't care if he thinks I'm mean.

Taylor-Made Wife said...

I'm laughing so freaking hard right now. I totally feel you on the spin class legalities. I can just picture you hiding in the bathroom with chocolate smeared all around your mouth. lol

Amy said...

I am totally stealing Fatty McGiggles! Best name EVER!!!!