Fashion Disaster.

We didn’t have any patients today at work, so I got to go in later at 8:30. For some reason, on these days, I’m always running late. I get distracted reading blogs, and watching things like Michael Jackson’s bodyguards on Good Morning America.

I had a fabulous outfit planned today, and looking good always makes your day better, right? As I was rushing out the door, I grabbed a light jacket since it was going to be near 50 today. I hadn’t worn this jacket since last fall, but I knew I had just had it cleaned, so I put it on and went on my merry way.

I walk into work and a girl following me into the locker room says, “Whoa! Did you shit your pants?!”

Um, yeah I did. Why, do you smell it?

Just jokers. Of course I said “No!” And then she’s all “Well, it looks like you sat in shit!”

Wha wha what? No way. I knew it had to be chocolate, but I hadn’t eaten any chocolate and Shawn had just vacuumed my car out last night. My boss accused me of eating Cadbury eggs on the way into work, but even I draw the line at Cadbury eggs at 8 o’clock in the morning.

Gross, huh? This is my “I don’t like people thinking I shit my pants” face:

Oh well. I figured there was nothing I could do about it now. But, then the fashion disaster got worse. I was also wearing a shirt that I hadn’t worn since fall. When I put it on this morning, I thought “Oh, this is cute! Why don’t I wear this more often?”

Well, only 5 minutes into work this morning, I realized why I don’t wear it. Because this:

Keeps going like this:

Oh, and that’s my “WTF Banana Republic? How could you do this to me after all we’ve been through?” face. That hook kept coming undone literally every 3-5 minutes. Grrr.

But, that’s not all. Oh no, that’s not all. There were no Cheetos in my lunch. A guy stole the gas pump I was waiting for. The gas nozzle sprayed gasoline all over the side of my car. And the gas pump didn’t print out my receipt.

After the gas station debacle, I figured I better wash the gasoline off the side of my car. I dug through my purse, and finally found $5 of Girl Scout Cookie money (I’ll totally pay it back!). So, over to the car wash we go. Only to find that it was gone. GONE! Nothing but a pile of dirt and a couple machines which were mocking me and my gasoline covered car.

So, I peeled out of there, on a mission to find another car wash. After driving through one town and heading towards another, Alivia says “Mom! Where are you going? This is not the way home.” I explained to her my hunt for a car wash, only to be interrupted with “Yeah, like you’re going to find a car wash way out here in the middle of nowhere!”

Thank you, 6 year old backseat driver. Thank you very much.

Best. Day. Ever. If nothing else, my shoes were still fabulous: