Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I will probably regret this post.

I went back and forth on whether or not I should post this.  In the end I decided, why not?  We’re all friends here, right?  Are you ready?

My name is Tami.  I am Catholic.  I use birth control, a Mirena IUD to be exact.

Mirena-IUD  

Alright.  All you prayer-card-carrying-Catholics can go ahead and throw your rosaries and natural family planning charts and thermometers at me now.  I’m ready.  I can take it.  I’m a big girl (not really, but I do have big muscles).

Are you done?  Ok, good.

The main point of this post isn’t a birth control confession anyway.  It’s about the IUD.  I want it out.  And when I say I want it out, I mean I want it out now.  Right. Now.

There are numerous reasons why I want it out.  The main one being that it is almost expired.  This freaks me out a little bit.  Because what if it’s gradually losing it’s effectiveness, and I get pregnant, and give birth to one of those babies with an IUD sticking out of it’s head?  Now, I am inclined to believe that’s not possible.  Except, there were two nurses I worked with at the hospital who claimed it was absolutely possible.

I’ve searched and searched the internet to find out if it does indeed lose effectiveness, and I can’t find that information anywhere.  The only thing Mirena says is “It’s good for 5 years!”  Ok, but then what?  I’m guessing it doesn’t fall out or disintegrate after 5 years?  Or, does it?

Well, anyway.  So, not only do I want it out, but I’m considering taking it out myself.   

Before you go throwing your rosaries at me again, just listen.  This is not an original idea.  Do you want to know where I first heard it?  My OB!  Yes, she told me she took her own IUD out at home.  Aside from her, through a Google search I have found dozens of other lunatics women who have taken their own out too!

I did ask Shawn to do it, and he declined.  He said (and I quote) “I’m not yanking that out!”  I asked him to please not use the word “yank” in relation to my vagina again.

I’m sure you’re wondering, why I don’t just go to the doctor and have it removed?  For one, my insurance doesn’t pay for the IUD or anything to do with it, so I would have to pay for the office visit (which they consider a “procedure” which = more $) completely out of pocket.  For two, the last time I had an appointment with the OB/GYN this happened, and I’m still a little miffed and worried that it would happen again.  And if I did go, and that happened I’m worried that I would be like “Fine!  Then I’m going to take this thing out myself, and I’m going to do it right here in this office!”

Questions?  Comments?  Concerns?  Volunteers?

49 comments:

d.a.r. said...

I'm a Catholic and I am on Loestrin Fe. Sorry if that offends anyone. I'd rather be a good, capable, loving mother than a good rule follower who has a baby before she is ready/capable. I figure Jesus would rather me be selfish now than when I have an infant at home.


I'd totally yank it out on my own. But I have also taken my own stitches out after knee surgery, so maybe I am not the best person to consult...

Kelsey Claire @Lavender, Leopard, and Lace said...

Interesting conundrum you are currently in. I don't know if I would yank it out. That just sounds painful. I also don't like to spend $. So basically let me know what you do!

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

Have a drink first!

My hubs had a vasectomy and I still worry!

Baby Wanted said...

I'll do it! :)

Leah said...

Hahaha! Tami, I know the devout Catholics will have serious issues about this. I am a Catholic but I'm a liberated one. Hahaha! Enough said.

About the IUD, I don't think I will have the guts to take it out myself if I'm in your shoes. But I know you, you are one brave and feisty woman... I know YOU WILL DO IT. Hahaha!

Natalie said...

I'm not personally Catholic, but all of my in laws are. I know for a fact that at least 3 of the immediate family members are/were on some sort of b/c.

I also have the Mirena & nearing the end of my 5 year cycle as well. I've debated having another one inserted which would mean I HAVE to visit the doctor. Otherwise, I've often contemplated yanking it out myself. Let me know how much pain it causes or how many shots you need prior to doing it.

Shell said...

LMAO @ volunteers. Dh had the big v b/c it was about the same amount to have that done as it was to get an iud and we wanted permanent.

I wonder about the 5 year thing. Like it's effective right now, but as soon as you hit 5 years, that's it?

Ashley Paige said...

The word yank should NEVER be used in conjunction with a hoo-ha! Definitely made me chuckle. Although the idea of removing it yourself gives me the willies, being a nurse, I would probably attempt to do the same thing at home- why pay money to have someone else do something that you are more then capable of?! Sort of like that time I removed my husband's stitches... Hmm.. Best of luck in either case! :)

melissa said...

I don't think I'm qualified to advise on medical matters. However, I am totally qualified to give the following advice: I'd drink a whole lotta wine before I went yanking anything outta my hoo-ha. Good luck!

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

I'm a Jew and we don't remove our own IUD's and neither should you! I have heard it hurts like an SOB to take it out...what if it gets stuck on something??

Yankee Girl said...

Do it. Use those big muscles and take it out.

I took one out for a friend once. She was too afraid to do it herself so I did it for her (is that friendship, or what?). She said it was a little uncomfortable but not painful, almost like getting a pap.

You can do. Don't pay money for something you can do yourself!

Or find a good girlfriend to give you a hand.

Taylor-Made Wife said...

You know I'm Catholic and I'm on the pill. I say take a few shots of wiskey and yank that puppy out! Oops I used yank when referring to your vagina. Youre a nurse you'll know if it's time to stop yanking and get your butt to the gyno. Oops I said yank again.

Kate said...

no words of advice here but I just wanted to tell you that I have never laughed so hard while reading a blog in my life..lol.

good luck and let us know how everything goes!

* Tyly * said...

HAHA! I'm lol @ all the people saying "hoo-ha" - I love that movie!!

I don't know the first thing about IUDs, so I'm no help. Sorry!

I had the Cadbury malted eggs in my hands, but I put them down. You just made me realize the error of my ways. Stupid Tyly! I'll be back in Walgreen's tomorrow...

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

I was making some seriously painful faces while reading this! #1- I was always scared of IUDs. #2-Now I can't get the image of the baby w/ the IUD sticking out of his head!#3- The thought of yanking the thing out myself makes my skin crawl.

But it's your tootie, have a stiff drink & have at it! Good luck with that!

Hillary said...

This totally has to do with our conversations as of late, doesn't it?!?! TAKE IT OUT!!!

Friday night have Shawn to you to The Beltline Bar, drink a lot Sangria, then go home and give it a good pull!

Emily said...

This cracked me up!!I love how you approached this!! I'm catholic and on bc... And a lot of my family is too... I would never judge you!! Your family is adorable!! And that includes u;)

Heather said...

Are you KIDDING ME??? You would REALLY do that (yanking)??? To yourself?? Don't you think it will hurt?? I would be terrified. Voice of reason, please speak to Tami!!! (can you tell I am shocked at even the thought of this???) Good luck, my friend!!!

Practically Perfect... said...

Not Catholic and don't have an IUD, so I'm not the best at giving advice on the subject. My only words of wisdom are do a lot of research before you attempt to take it out on your own - that's one area that you don't want to get messed up! It would make me incredibly nervous and worried about it becoming less effective, though!

Just Add Walter said...

oh lordy... I would err on the side of caution and just pay the money... but that is me! This is coming from someone that HATES HATES HATES going to the OB/GYN too. I read your other post and I would have murdered someone if they had told me they had to leave before doing my exam... there is major prep for that appt!!

Jo said...

Do it! I worked in the ER for years and there were so many things the MD did and I thought, "I could have done that at home"

Of course, won't you have to go back to the OB to get a new one put in? So maybe you'd get a complementary IUD removal at the same time? It might work, if you play your cards right and everything!

PS loving you. you make me laugh so hard that I pee on myself... or maybe it's a leakage problem. Prob both. damn pregnancy.

Kelly @ The Startup Wife said...

Just found your blog. :)

Wow, how frustrating! I have to say, the thought of 'tugging' (nicer than yanking, right?) freaks me out (but I laughed really hard at 'volunteers' crossed out--you are too funny!). The 'good for five years part' is a bit freaky, though, too--you're right, what DOES happen? I considered getting the copper version, which is also good for five years, I believe, and what the heck happens to it after that??

Llama said...

WHile this post frightened me somewhat...with all of the yanking talk...I think that as long as it is safe for you to take it out...do it! Obv. be careful if you do not want to get pregnant again. I always wondered about this option as opposed to the pill...i will stop wondering now. Take care of yourself and be careful!

Sara said...

You crack me up. I am not sure if I have ever commented before, but this post did me in!

I have the Mirena,and the thought of yanking it out makes my innards curl. Yes, I said innards. :)

Good luck!

jv726 said...

Yanking it out makes me kind of queasy to think about. But you are a nurse so I'm sure you will know when you should stop "yanking" :)
Ive always wondered if those are painful to get in btw. I think it sounds like a good way to go when I am done having kids...

Cara Smith said...

I have the same thing. I do have a freind who got pregnant at 4 years, but she is part of a short list according to her doc. According to my doc, if you do get pregnant on it, they just go and pull it out when you find out you are preggo.

I couldn't pull my out myself if I wanted to. The thing moved up after the strings were cut. I'm thinking of going the essure route next time.

5thsister said...

Erin sent me by.

As a devout Catholic convert I will not go "doctrinal" on you. You are a big girl who has made your own decisions. As a health care professional who has seen her share of at home procedures gone bad, go to the doctor. If insurance is an issue, and I cannot believe I am suggesting this, could you not go to a Planned Parenthood and have them do it? When I was young and naive, I went to them for a pregnancy test when I was newly married. I only had to pay for the cost of the test itself ($5 at the time).

Good luck.

Jen said...

Sounds like you got yourself into a little pickle huh?? Your a nurse, you have got to have friends that are nurses as well. Can one of them take it out for you? The thought of pulling that out mysef gives me the heebiegeebies.

OMG!!! I forgot to tell you about the gym the other day. I will text you later about it...talk abaout a ratard!!

Heather said...

New follower from Erin's!

No help here, I had my tubes tied after my c-section with my daughter. I would be afraid to pull it out.

I'm Jane said...

Can we have a big party at your house with lots of cocktails and watch you take this one on? I bet it would be better than Ultimate Fighting.

Kristi B said...

Just found your blog through "Her Womb, Our Hearts." Great posts! Look forward to reading more...

If you think you can get that thing out, then go for it!! LOL

Co Captain aka Mommy said...

That is soooooo FUNNY!!! I LOVE your blog. So glad I found it! By the way, I too am Catholic. We simply nipped my husband in the bud....LITERALLY!!!! It is a simple procedure. I had to give birth THREE times so it was his turn!!!!

One Take On Life - Heather said...

Really you want to pull it out yourself, eeek!! But hey I wouldn't want it there in the first place, so if you were fine with it going in, then I say do it yourself. But maybe, just maybe call the OB and ask for some pointers first.

~Bekah said...

ROTFL!!! so i dunno about takin it out yourself but i have been waiting in a "paper towel" for my dr to come while he delivered 2 BABIES so i totally feel ya on that one :)
i'm on a progestrone only pill b/c the estrogen/progest. pill's give me migraines so i'm on the one they give to breastfeedin mommas which btw, is HIGHLY "oops worthy" if it's not taken THE EXACT TIME every day/night..so believe me..regardless of what's goin on, it ceases to take that pill b/c i'll be dang if i get pregnant this soon again!! lol.. shelby will be 9 months tomorrow! no thx!

Kara@Pickerill Prattle said...

I'm Catholic too and on BC. I have many other Catholic friends on BC as well...don't feel bad. I may be Catholic but I have a hard time agreeing with no bc!

Good luck in your endeavors! I agree with some of the other comments---have a drink first!

Ian said...

Two things, maybe three. I am your newest follower. Not only am I a heeb, but I am also a dude. Have any jew males on here? Ok good.

Who cares what you do? Use whatever birth control you need?

I ain't that religious but Jesus or God or the pope or whoever isn't going to prevent you from having kids.

Ok...I will quit while I am ahead and am glad that I am here :)

I found you from Erin's blog and she told me to follow or she'd do bad things to my pets.

Erin said...

Once when we were dating, my Hubs and I "lost" the condom. He had to go fishing to get it and that alone was painful enough. Also having been through fertility junk and had plenty of stuff done to my va-jay-jay, I would never attempt to take something like that out on my own. But maybe I'm just chicken....

;-)

shortmama said...

I came over from Erins blog....

Ouch! Thats all I got because that sounds painful!!

jill said...

good lord ... my legs are crossed at the sight of the word 'yank.' ha! ouch. be sure to update us ... the suspense will be killing me! haha!

Danielle said...

Okay I could never do it.. but I did have one and had it removed shortly after b/c of complications. I don't remember it being painful, but on the other hand my mom actually had to go in and have hers surgically removed b/c it had expired and moved out of place. So my fear would be that if you move it and it gets stuck or the string breaks or something crazy it could result in a heck of a lot more money to get it surgically removed. Good luck!

Southerland Living said...

oh girl- I'm Catholic too and on birth control. Don't worry lady! I would maybe see a OB again!~

Laura and Ryan said...

I have no advice but you are too funny! I love the 'yanking it out' comment :) hahaha

Kristin said...

Owwww, mama. I'm sure you have the know how to do it..but EEEEEK. Be careful! And no judgment on the BC!

Krystyn said...

It's crazy how painless and almost easy it is to take out. The problem is being able to reach it and see it! It was a bit of a challenge for my dr to remove.

I have a feeling they are effective for over 5 years, but they tell you five because it starts declining around then.

Paige said...

I would so yank that thing right out! I had one for a while and HATED it. Hated it! It also freaks out that the IUD can get stuck in a certain position which requires emergency surgery. Yikes! I am not a fan!

Heather B. said...

Had a friend who took hers out and CUT her vajay-jay OPEN! Had to have emergency surgery to fix the CUT! I know how you feel about paying $$ for the doc but I would be safe and go! I went to the doc to have mine out and felt much better having done that! Good Luck

Kelly said...

Ok, I'm new to your blog, and you've probably already made your decision, but I sure wish I had seen this about six months ago!

I, too, had a Mirena and wanted it out NOW (for me it was causing side effects that literally had me going crazy)--I went and had the doctor pull it out (nurse practitioner actually) while I was crying and telling her that I was absolutely sure it was the Mirena causing all my problems (and, in hindsight, it looks like I was right and the docs were wrong). Well, my insurance had paid to put it in three years earlier, so I didn't even question that they would pay to take the darn thing out--I was wrong. New insurance and now $400 later, it is out, and I'm a happier person, but I could have easily told my hubby to do it for half that much!

Good luck and love your blog!

Erin said...

ok what did you end up doing here? I have had mine removed and I could not imagine digging in there and finding the strings and pulling it out myself, I can't imagine it being that safe! Yikes!

I now have mine back in :) , that is after avin.

zahirah.com said...

OMG, as much as that thing hurt going in, I can't believe you're even considering taking it out on your own. No. Way.

On the other hand, I live in constant worry that my IUD will move out of its place and I'll get pregnant, so I have this deal set up with my gynecologist to get ultrasounds every four months instead of six to make sure it's where it's supposed to be (it always has been).

They DO expire, and you're supposed to get them out six months or so before their expiration date.

The whole thought of getting pregnant with that thing in there freaks me out.

But again, there's NO WAY I'm doing it on my own.