Monday, March 22, 2010

I can't make this shit up.

Who remembers this post from a couple weeks ago? Show of hands please. Ok, ok. If you don’t remember, it’s not that important, it just adds to the hilarity of this situation. So, a couple things before I get started…

This is an earring:

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This is a nose:

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Any questions? Don’t answer that, because we’re going to continue anyway.

When I left the gym this morning, I had a voicemail from the secretary at Alivia’s school asking me to call her. I had to pick up Lainey from preschool, so I decided to just stop by the school office afterwards, to see what she wanted.

When she saw me, she started laughing. Oh great. This can’t be good. Then she proceeds to tell me that Alivia had taken her earring out, and while she was holding the earring she blew her nose. (Don’t ask me why, this story still doesn’t make sense to me!) But, after she blew her nose, she claimed her earring went up her nose! So, she went down to the office and they got the flashlight out, but couldn’t see the earring anywhere. They looked everywhere in the classroom for the earring, but never did find it.

While I was in the office, Alivia came down so I could assess the situation, because I am a nurse after all. I looked up her nose, and saw nothing. I pinched her nose, and felt nothing. I then un-tucked all of her clothes, to see if the earring was caught somewhere. Nope, nothing! In my head there was zero possibility that the earring was in her nose, so I sent her back to class and told her to quit taking her earrings out (this is an ongoing issue).

Fast forward to gymnastics after school. About 30 minutes in to class, Alivia comes running over to me and says “Mom! Mom! My earring is coming out my nose! I was on the trampoline and it started falling out!” I’m thinking, you’re shitting me, there is no way. So, I look up there, and see this coming out her nose:

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For reals. It wasn’t all the way out, so I had to reach up there and pick it out, which by the way was no easy task! I assure you that the stone in the earring was green to begin with, but the thing was totally covered in snot!

Like I said, Alivia taking her earrings out is an ongoing problem, so when we were walking out of gymnastics I asked her if she had learned a lesson. She said, “Yup! I learned not to ever pick up a tissue to blow my nose while I’m holding my earring!” And then she laughed.

33 comments:

d.a.r. said...

This post confirms that I am SO not ready to be a mama, haha!

Glad the earring was "found"!

Christa said...

Glad the earring was found! This reminds me...my best friend's nephew who is 4 stuck a wheel to his hot wheel car up his last week! His parents took him to the ER because they couldn't get it out and the doctor pulled it out with a paper clip! Ha! I was thinking.....a paper clip?!!

Emily said...

That is wild! You really do have the best stories!

The Kid said...

lol! poor girl!

Hillary said...

I used to love working in the peds ER for these exact stories!!! Generally it is beads, nuts, and toys that get jammed in the nose or ears.

I kid you not, one time we had a 3 year old that sat next to a Christmas wreath in the backseat of her car, and proceeded to insert ALL of the holly berries up her nose. Needless to say, there was sedation involved in the ER.

Glad Alivia didn't need too much help in the retrieval.

Mary Beth said...

No way!!! At first, I thought you were going to say when she blew her nose that the earring pierced her nose. haha I almost think what really happened seems more far fetched! Poor kiddo!

Glad everything is okay now!!

Natalie said...

That is crazy! And def. makes me glad I haven't pierced Jolie's ears yet. And makes me doubly glad none of my kids have had nose issues yet. knock on wood.

Geezees Custom Canvas Art said...

WOW!! That's crazy, glad everything is okay!

Lauren @ Reading and Running said...

Your girls crack me up! I love hearing your stories. You guys are such good sports. Have a great week!

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

ROFL!!

What is with kids? Poor dear!

Yankee Girl said...

Holy moly! That is insane! I really want to know how it got stuck so far up when she was blowing...

And wasn't she in pain?

This is so weird!

Glad everything came out okay!

Shell said...

LOL Gotta love what she thinks is the lesson!

Sazzle said...

ba-na-nas!!!!

part freakishly scary, part hilariously funny!!!!

I agree with the first comment -- soooo glad I don't have babies! Would have lost my mind! What did you learn? Your daughter might have crazy stories but she doesn't lie :)

Amy Lynn said...

O-M-G that's hilarious! Where the heck was that thing!?!??!? hahaha. At least she is a gymnast and was able to recover her earring. Who knows where it would have wound up if she played soccer or something.

Paige said...

This is hilarious! Oh my gracious! Your kids are the best!

Kel said...

That is so funny! She would fit in perfectly with my girls!

Co Captain aka Mommy said...

Oh MY!!! That is too funny!!! Thanks for the laugh!!

* Tyly * said...

No effing way! That is CRAZY!

I love your stories!! :)

Taylor said...

Wow!!! How did it not hurt when it was up there? Oh my gosh that is hilarious!

Maria Lane said...

oh my that is so funny and crazy!!hopw you have a great week!!!

Laura and Ryan said...

LOL. I can't wrap my head around how that happened! I hope her little nose didn't get hurt!

Cara Smith said...

That is one thing my freind really hates about teaching preschool.

She got blamed when one of her students lost beads to for her project that were later retrieved from her nose.

Danielle said...

Glad it came out! My wonderful daughter decided a few years back to put a magnet in her nose that they were using in science class...well over $500 later and 2 hours in the ER they were able to painfully remove it. Crazy!

~Bekah said...

oh my...the things i get to look forward to...lol.. wow.. that's talent girl! :) lol....

Heidi said...

This is the craziest story I have EVER heard! And comin' from someone who has spent a lot of time in court and is married to a prosecutor, that's sayin' something!

jill said...

i love your kids. they're incredible! kinda glad this didn't happen in my room though ... totally sounds like something one of my munchkins would do. :) hope her nose is (empty!) and better, mom.

Meghan said...

Oh wow! I cannot believe it came out! That's the craziest thing I've heard in a long time!

Amy said...

Dude! When you emailed me last night about this, I actually snorted! I laughed so spastically I had to tell my husband what it was I was laughing at, and he too thought it was hysterical.

I mean...where was the damn earring between school and gymnastics??? Is there some secret earring holding compartment in that nose?!


Such a funny story!

Heather said...

That is crazy! How long did that ear ring stay in there. lol

One Take On Life - Heather said...

Well at least you won't have to worry about digging out another earring. Oh that is just hilarious. Kids - they do the darndest things, don't they?

Erin said...

I can't believe it was really in there! OMG!!!

Mevolving said...

Holy cow that is too funny, I can't count the number of small plastic toys my younger brothers pushed up their noses...or down toilets too for that matter, when they were kids and it's definitely not funny when it happens but when you retell the story it's always a good laugh, especially when they grow up and boyfriends/girlfriends are over :D

Kristi B said...

Seriously?? How do all these things happen to you??

I'm sure you know this but in case you don't...they make earrings where the post has threads and the backing screws on so they can't be taken off very easily. Knowing your kids, that's probably the kind she has and is a genius at getting them out ;-)