Thursday, March 4, 2010

“Use your head for more than a hat rack.”

When I was growing up I had this bf (Trisha) whose Dad would scream say “Use your head for more than a hat rack!”  Usually, it would just crack us the hell up, which quite possibly made him more mad.

Anywho, I pinky swear I have never told my daughter this.  However, she is very successful in fulfilling the mission set forth by Trisha’s Dad over 20 years ago.

Exhibit A (8 months old):


It’s right there under Shawn’s cheek, a reddish purple mark.  It looks like nothing, but that “nothing” resulted in a white indented scar in her forehead, which appears to be with us for the long haul.  This did not happen on my watch, and I don’t think I ever even got the full story.

Exhibit B (3.5 years old): 


Oh yeah.  Do you like that?  I think there were a total of 14 stitches after all was said and done.  This happened one night approximately 1 minute after we had put them to bed.  Alivia and Lainey share a bedroom, and they have bunk bed shaped like a T.  Does that make sense?  It has a dresser and a desk at the bottom, and the bottom bed comes out like a T under the top bunk.  Allegedly, Alivia was leaning over her rail to “talk” to Lainey and she flipped over it, hitting her head on Lainey’s rail.  Good times.  Did you notice she’s sticking her tongue out in both those pictures?  It’s almost like she doesn’t even care!

She learned her lesson though, right?  Wrong.  Numerous times we have walked into their room to find Alivia leaning over the rail.  Oh, and get this!  Last night Shawn took the rails off Lainey’s bottom bunk, because the bed is basically on the ground and she really doesn’t need them anymore.  After the rails were off, Alivia went bat shit crazy because Shawn wouldn’t take the rails off her top bunk!  Oh, and this all happened on the same day as Exhibit C, which I’m about to show you. 

So, Lainey and I are at McDonald’s yesterday and my cell phone rings.  It was a number I didn’t recognize and I thought maybe it was Publisher’s Clearing House, so I answered it:


Me:  “Hello?”

Dude:  “Hey Tami?  This is Mr. World’s-best-principal.”

(He didn’t really call himself that, but I thought I would, since he gets major bonus points for calling me “Tami” and not “Mrs. Roth.”  Apparently you can teach an old dog new tricks, don’t tell him I said that though!)

Me:  “Um, yeah.  I’m trying to finish my Big Mac, what do you want?

Principal:  “I have Alivia here with me and she took a pretty good fall on the playground and she has a good-sized lump.”

Me:  “Define good-sized.  Like, do I have time to finish eating?  Okaaaay.”

Principal:  “We’ve got an icepack on it, and I don’t think she has a concussion.  Can you talk to her for a minute?”

Me:  I’m close by, so I’ll come over and look at it after I order a McFlurry.”


So, I get over there (after a 5 minute conversation with Lainey about how she can NOT mention to Alivia that we were at McDonald’s), and I think I may have said “Holy Shit!” when I walked in the office.

I still can’t figure out how it happened.  She claims she was on a swing and she was “leaning back.”  She also claims there was “ice” involved.  My guess is she flipped backwards out of the swing and hit her head on a patch of ice.  I think this child needs to wear a helmet.

It did look 100% better after school, so don’t go thinking I’m exaggerating when you see this picture. 

Exhibit C:


Moral of the story:  In my opinion, using your head for a hat rack isn’t such a bad idea after all.  It beats the hell out of using it for a landing strip.


ty said...

That's one happy little girl for having such a lump on the noodle. She sounds like me when I was a kid. Hard noggin. I like it.

Linda said...

Wow that picture with her stitches really took me back in time. Kevin had a light fixture fall on his head, not to mention names but his dad did it. He had about 24 stitches in his forehead. Scary when this stuff happens.

Shawn said...

Alivia was very concerned this morning that the scratches in her head were going to stay there forever. I had to assure her they would not. I can only hope I am right...there is a first time for everything.

jill said...

bless that sweet pea's heart!!!! and her head! i don't know if i would have survived the stitches?!? that girl must be made of steel like her mama. :)

jv726 said...

The picture with the stitches made me a little queasy. I guess I better get used to it if I want kids someday.
I am glad to see she is smiling in that last picture, she sure is a cutie, even with a few scars. They add character, right? :)

Hillary said...

I told you about the dream I had a week before my wedding, right? That Alivia feel the morning of the wedding and needed stitches, and the very peds ER that I worked in wouldn't hurry up the process. I think that dream was a bit of a premonition.

As for the goose egg, at least she has bangs! Ouch!

d.a.r. said...

Oh my gosh, owie!!

Shell said...

Poor thing! I'm amazed that my boys haven't needed stitches yet. When they end on their heads, we actually say, "Oh, it's just his head, it's okay."

LMAO@ your last line!

Stephanie said...

Ouch! At least you got a McFlurry :)

Taylor-Made Wife said...

Ouach!Ouch!Ouch! That second one makes me cringe. My husband was a little dare devil-brake several bones, had tons o' stitches, so I just know we are going to end up getting blessed with one of those kids. How in the heck do you stay calm in those situations?

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

Saying Holy Shit was totally justified and I would have done the same thing - all of it including telling the little one to keep quiet about the fun you are having!

What is it with kids and injuries - my daughter LONGS to break something and makes cast after cast out of cardboard and duct tape.

So, did you get some gray hair after seeing that bump and the scar? I would. They just pop out every day!

metta1313 said...

Just found you via TMC. I'm also newly turned 30 so I must now follow you to see if our lives resemble one another!

Stephanie said...

By the way: this may be totally inappropriate but Shawn was tan and studly!!! :)

Kelsey Claire @Lavender, Leopard, and Lace said...

Awww poor thing! That looks painful. I am a clutz myself but I always get the bruises on my legs. Not on my head. At least when they aren't on your head you can pretend like you aren't a clutz. She needs to learn from us older women about how you fall and how to cuver up the marks!

ms. mindless said...

she is still SO adorable even with the little bumps :)

Llama said...

Oh my goodness! You need to wrap that girl in bubble wrap...with breathing holes of course! Poor thing! Even with all of those bumps and bruises, she looks amazingly happy in every picture...what a spirit!

tattytiara said...

I grew up across the alley from a family that always seemed to have at least one kid with stitches in their head somewhere at all times. Some folks really are just talented like that it would seem!

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

Good Lord! Has she been hanging around the Semi-Slacker kids? Beats the hell out of using as a landing strip! Now that's funny!

Lesli said...

Awe poor baby.. I have gotten that call so many times I think I lost count!! I just found your blog, the RN caught my name because I am one too!! Anyway, just wanted to say hello, I am loving your blog so I am going to follow! Can't wait to read more!

Co Captain aka Mommy said...

I am a new follower. I love your sense of humor!! Adorable girls. I look forward to more stories!

JP said...

I can totally relate. When I was 5 I jumped back and forth beds that were about 5 feet apart. My foot slipped and I took a head dive into the standard 1985 cast iron bed frame. Still sporting the scar above my left brow to this day. At least she'll have some great stories!

MrsDixon said...

Oh my! What an adoreable daughter and very funny story! It's amazing how little ones can do such damage! :)

Amy said...

LOL! I love that she's smiling in every picture! Tough cookie that one!