Tuesday, March 16, 2010

What I didn't say.

Several of you expressed concern over my daughter’s someday being embarrassed by my choice of blogging topics. While I appreciate your concern, I’m sure someday they’ll understand. Between Monday’s post and my previous post about reflux I said a lot, but there was also a lot I didn’t say.

  • I didn’t say that the first time Alivia got sick with a UTI, we had to take her to the ER on Christmas night. She had 104 degree fever, and they sent us home, calling it a “virus.”
  • I didn’t say that after several days of her fever and “virus,” the person who finally figured out it was a UTI was me.
  • I didn’t say that I had to call her doctor’s office and beg to bring in a urine specimen, and then call on New Year’s Eve to beg for the results.
  • I didn’t say that when her primary physician finally called me after the holidays, she was freaking out a little bit because she realized what a grave error they had made. (In hindsight, she realized the high fever indicated the UTI had gone to her kidneys and was left untreated for nearly a week!)
  • I didn’t say that after that “error” I made the difficult decision to switch pediatricians, even though we were leaving a doctor that I knew personally and absolutely adored.
  • I didn’t say that I cried with my daughter 2 times while I held her down kicking and screaming, while she had her VCUG’s done.
  • I didn’t say that the memory of those tests will never be erased from my mind or hers. And that letting them do the first one without anesthesia was one of the biggest mistakes I have ever made as a Mom.
  • I didn’t say that no matter how many times she has had an accident at school, she has never cried or been upset. However, I have cried every time.

I don’t think my previous post was in any way making fun of my daughter’s, but more making fun of the situation. One thing I have learned as a mother is that sometimes all you can do is laugh, because the alternative is crying.

Now, if after all that I’ve said, my daughter’s are still embarrassed, I always have this to fall back on.

25 comments:

jill said...

you go, mama. can't believe what those doctors did (or more like didn't do??) to your baby! glad they've got such a smart, ass-kicking mom to take care of them! loves! :)

Leah said...

Well said Tami... don't worry about your daughter being embarrassed about your topics. Remember I have two teenage boys (not two really since the other one turned 20 already). They know that I do make fun of them some times but they are cool with it. It makes them popular to the girls in school (who incidentally follows my blog too).

It's the secured feeling they have that whatever mommy does to be funny is nothing compared to the love I have showered them.

So there goes my short commentary... you know what I'm trying to say here right?

Luv yah Tami! Keep on writing what you feel. And don't forget to have fun. xoxo

Heather said...

Great post Tami. And I agree sometimes you have to make fun of the situation so you dont cry.

Taylor-Made Wife said...

I didn't take the last post as you making fun of them at all. I agree that sometimes you have to laugh at a situation because it's really all that's left to do. It's a good thing you have the education to help your daughters out in situations like that. Many parents wouldn't have had a clue.

I'm Jane said...

You don't need to explain a thing. You're absolutely right...if we can't laugh, we'd cry. Laughing is so much better. xo

Meghan said...

Aww. You are one tough mama! And I didn't think your last post would embarrass them at all - it's life. Everyone has health issues from time to time and it's nothing to be ashamed about!

Sara said...

You are a great mom! The fact that you don't go into the really scary and upsetting details doesn't make you lesser - don't we all need to find the humor is crappy situations? Anyway, your daughter's will be proud of you and they will love reading what all you have written about!

Cara Smith said...

Poor girl (and momma too)! It is so hard to watch one of your kids in pain, let alone having to hold them down while someone is hurting them.

It helps to try to find humor in situations that can be scary.

Heidi said...

Tami, I would never think you are making fun of your daughters. I hope you didn't take my comment yesterday like that. I think they'll one day roll their eyes, but embarrassment? No. It's beyond obvious how much you love those beauties.

~Bekah said...

you go momma!! i'd do the same thing and screw the comments from others! i have to do the same thing w/ shelby when she gets sick, play dr. that is. her pedi is ridiculous but our small town has no one :( so i go in w/ the "diagnosis" and make him do the tests/write the scripts. lol I SHOULD BE GETTIN PAID THE BIG BUCKS HUH? NOT FAIR!

ty said...

That's the way you do it ... you have to laugh at a situation to keep from crying. Keep on, lil' mama. And keep making me laugh :)

Laura and Ryan said...

Everyone is a critic huh? It's a sad day when people question a mother's love for her children just b/c she has a sense of humor. I have no doubt you are a fabulous mother and seriously when your kids grow up they are going to want to be your best friend.

d.a.r. said...

My jaw is on my desk at the thought that anyone would question your love for your girls because you choose to look at this with a sense of humor. I totally agree, sometimes you have to laugh or else you would cry.

You are an amazing mama, obviously one who is very protective and proactive in the care of your kiddos. I hope you get everything sorted out and find a doc who can be an advocate for them!

Yankee Girl said...

What a horrible experience. Your daughter is a fighter.

One day when your kids are old enough the will be able to read these posts and know their mommy loves them (like they EVER had an doubt!)

Sara said...

As a teen-aged daughter, I was embarassed of my mother no matter what she did/wore/said!! Hahahahaha!! I only wish she would have been able to laugh about some things and have fun like your family does. I'm sure your daughters are incredibly proud of the smart and loving mom they have.

Amy Lynn said...

I hope I wasn't one of the one's you are talking about. It didn't seem to me that you were making fun of them, and I think it's great that you have no problem talking about such issues. Hopefully your knowledge will be able to help some other mommy's out there facing similar issues. It's great that the girls understand that it's nothing to be embarrassed about, they shouldn't be. It's nothing that they have any control over, and they are lucky to have such an intelligent Mommy who doesn't put up with no crap!!!

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

I'm right there with you! We can cry together!

When I was little & had a high fever (from a UTI) they did a spinal tap on me. But that was the 70s. And my momma says if BG ever runs a high fever, we'll know exactly what ii is.

Amy said...

Ok, at the risk of offending any commenters from yesterday who thought this might embarass your girls some day, I say this....

.....What business is it of theirs?

Yes, we use this public forum to vent, network, and form relationships with amazing people. But, seriously, like you don't have the best interest of your children at heart all the time?! Give me a break!!

BTW, I had never read that post you linked at the end! Freaking hilarious!!

Hope both your girls are feeling better:)

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

Humor is what gets us through the painful stuff. Way to go for finding it - sometimes people can be too serious.

Stephanie said...

Wow - I think I shed a tear or two. I LOVE that you see humor in things. You are a great mom and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! I don't think either of the girls would be embarrassed -- life is life. Who knows, they may start a blog and talk about YOUR vagina :)

Kelly @ The Startup Wife said...

Oh my goodness, your poor daughter (and her poor mother!). You are one tough mom. Glad your daughter has you looking out for her and advocating for her, especially when her pediatrician completely dropped the ball! Geez.

One Take On Life - Heather said...

I never once took at as you making fun of your daughter. More you sticking up for her and being her advocate.
Now if you would have posted a pic of her on the potty or something, then that's a different story.
People have too much time on their hands.

hppy2be1 said...

Screw all those people that try to make you feel guilty for what you write. You are a great mom with a crazy/fantastic personality. I love reading about your life. And by writing with humor, it teaches your children to not take life so seriously and grow up to be one of those cranky ladies that leaves negative comments on your blog.

Llama said...

I can't believe anyone would think this. I would NEVER. I have been reading your blog for a long time and know that you love your family with all of your heart. If you don't put a funny spin on things, if you don't look at the good in bad, if you don't smile through the tough times, how will anyone make it through life. I honestly believe that if your daughter(s) were to read this when they were older they would love you even more.

Co Captain aka Mommy said...

WEll said!! People need to get over it and worry about their own families!!! You go!!!!