Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The law of the Tooth Fairy.

Alivia is the youngest child in her class.  I caught flak from a few people when we started her in kindergarten at age 4, but I told them to go to Hell.  She turned 5 in November, so no big deal, right?  She and I have the same birthday, and I started school at 4 too, and I did just fine.

I honestly don’t even remember noticing that I was younger.  Yes, I was the last of my friends to get my driver’s license.  Yes, I started college when I was 17.  Yes, I had to lie about my age to get my tongue pierced when I was a freshman in college.  Again, I don’t remember caring about any of these things.

Alivia, though?  She’s pissed.  Why?  Well, to start, last year in kindergarten they made an “age” graph.  They made the graph in early October, so she was the only 4 year old.  While that doesn’t sound like a big deal, it was.  Trust me, it wasn’t pretty.  It was so devastating, it almost ended her kindergarten career.  Luckily, the next month she turned 5, and she got over it.

This year, she has a new fixation.  Teeth.  Yes people, teeth.  According to her, she is the only child in her class who hasn’t lost a tooth!  I have been hearing about this for months, and then a few weeks ago her teacher had the kids make a diagram of all their teeth.  Thus, driving home the point that Alivia is the only one with all her baby teeth.  What is it with these teachers and their damn graphs and diagrams?!

Well, guess what?  My brilliant daughter has decided to take this matter into her own hands.  She now has a wiggly tooth.  Unfortunately for her, I am like a secret agent.  And, I have discovered that she made the tooth wiggly herself.  How do I know this?  Well, for one, it’s a top tooth.  Your bottom teeth fall out first, it’s like the law.  For two, it’s the left front tooth.  What does that have to do with the price of false teeth?  Well, she’s left handed.  Go ahead, reach up and wiggle a tooth.  I can almost guarantee, if you’re right handed you’ll wiggle a tooth on the right side, and the same for left handed.  Trust me, I did a study. 

Ok, so she made her own tooth wiggly, who cares?  Right?  Wrong.  I care.  Because if that damn tooth falls out she’s going to have a gap tooth there until that tooth decides it’s time to come in.  That could be weeks, months, years?!  Who knows?

So, I took matters into my own hands.  You see, I have someone on my side.

ToothFairy&title_psdThat’s right.  The Tooth Fairy.  I told Alivia the Tooth Fairy knows the order in which teeth are supposed to fall out, and she only accepts them in that order.  She was skeptical, but I think she’ll come around to it.  Why?  Well, the Tooth Fairy = Money.  And we all know money talks, even to a six year old!

36 comments:

passionofthemom said...

LOL Fighting fire with fire....I love it!! =D Great use of diversionary tactics....that's pretty much the only way to deal with 5-year olds sometimes. LOL

* Tyly * said...

HAHA! Love it!

I just read a book with my class about this exact same dilemma! The mom in our story wasn't nearly as bright as you, though. I must say, I love how wise you are. She won't dare fight the tooth fairy and her rules!

Hillary said...

I don't remember the whole being younger thing as a big deal either. And now, I'm going to be the last one of my friends to turn 30, so ha! I guess that doesn't really matter to A. though, does it?

Just give her a buck to not try and wiggle her tooth. How much are teeth going for these days anyway?

Natalie said...

Such a smart idea!!

Amber said...

Tell Alivia my son is 6 and in Kindergarten and he still has ALL of his baby teeth:( What's up with her PSYCHO teacher finding ways to make the kids feel inadequate and left behind at such a young age??? Why doesn't she just make a weight Graph?

One Take On Life - Heather said...

LOL! I can relate to Alivia, I wasn't the youngest in my class, but I liked money and once I figured out teeth = money, I would work on loosening my teeth nightly.
My son is the complete opposite, his can be hanging on by a thread and I have to convince him to pull it out!

Cara Smith said...

You have convinced my not to start my son in school this year (his b-day is Nov also). We would have major melt downs on our hands.

When my daughters top teeth fell out, it took 4 months for the new one to come in!

Lindsey said...

Hahaha such a great idea!

KLZ said...

Oooh, you've got a competitive one on your hands - a girl after my own heart.

Jessica said...

Girlfriend, you know money talks to anyone! If you'd told me that the tooth fairy knew the number of times I floss in a month, you'd better believe I'd be flossing after every meal!

Amy Lynn said...

hahaha, that's awesome. She will definitely thank you later on in life when she realizes she didn't have to be the only one who had a big gap in her mouth for a year!

Melissa said...

Losing teeth grosses me out! For real. I don't know what I am going to do with Hayden when he starts losing his teeth... it is making me feel all yucky just thinking about it.

Lil' Woman said...

Your one smart mama...I would have never came up with that concept.

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

Ok, I was going to write something witty about an Evil Tooth Fairy and instead got distracted when I saw google's first image of "evil tooth fairy".

http://tiny.cc/1dkp4

If that doesn't scare her straight, nothing will.

Baby Wanted said...

I think you just won the mom of the year award and if I had that award, I would gladly hand it over to you! You are quite the detective and I can't believe you figured that out! yes, money does talk....has she seen the movie the tooth fairy with the Rock? If not, she needs to see it again and see that the tooth fairy sees it all!

MrsDixon said...

Oh my gosh! I love this!!! It's a good thing you can still trick her for a while! PS I gave you an award today on my site!!!

Christa said...

Hahahah I'm cracking up over here! You are too funny!! Those DAMN teachers!!!

I'm Jane said...

Genius!

I hated being the youngest one in my class too. Especially when everybody else was going for their driver's licenses and getting into bars legally.

Payback is a bitch though. They all got old before me!

HA.

Yankee Girl said...

The Tooth Fairy holds so much power!

I had no idea you could just wiggle a tooth loose. That is sort of scary.

Ange said...

Jason and I are horrible parents at times. Dade lost another tooth a couple weeks ago and of course put it under his pillow the first night. Jason had to work that night, and so I had to play tooth fairy. Of course I forgot all about it, and Dade woke up sad. This went on for another 3 nights (that damn tooth fairy). Finally I just told Dade to bring the tooth to Daddy and ask for his dollar.
Thank goodness we do not have to keep up this tooth fairy bs anymore!

undomestic chica said...

That's too funny!

Meghan said...

Hahahaha! I was SO like her as a kid - I totally tried to pull my own teeth out. She's one sharp cookie!

Sara said...

Hahahahaha!! She is one smart (and determined!) kid. So funny that she did that. And good cover on the whole "the tooth fairy knows all" stuff. I'd believe that.

Sazzle said...

. Shut. The. Front. Door!!! You pierced your tongue???

smart thinking by the way! She could end up with crooked teeth if you didn't stop her!!!

Amanda M. said...

Oh shoot, that is a SERIOUSLY funny story. I bet anything the tooth is no longer wiggly. ;)

So, my birthday is November also, but my parents started my Kindergarten when I was five, so I was always the oldest. This mattered to me once - when I was in college and I turned 21 SUPER early. I had my priorities in order, can you tell? ;)

Shell said...

Brilliant!

Kelsey Claire @Lavender, Leopard, and Lace said...

You are one smart mama! I mean toothless grins are cute for awhile, but not forever! Can't wait to see what falls out first!

Helene said...

Oh girl, you are GOOD!! You were quick witted with the whole Tooth Fairy theory of only accepting teeth in proper order!

My 1st set of twins just started kindergarten this year and they are also the youngest in the class. Their b-day is in October. Almost every kid in their class is already 6 or about to turn 6. My daughter has already lost a bunch of teeth but my son hasn't. He's totally cool with it.

So you can let Alivia know that she's not the only young kindergartener with a mouth full of baby teeth.

Claire said...

Hahaha! How clever of you! We are a ways off of the toothfairy, but I'm totally stealing this when the time comes! My 3 year old is already addicted to money!

Jenni said...

hahaha that is genius!!! WHat a smart mama you are!

Heather @ Gerber Days said...

hahaha! That's so dang funny. I totally remember trying to make my teeth loose when I was a kid. It does work. If you tug and wiggle it long enough, it really does start to get wiggly!

I like what you told her about them falling out in order! Hilarious!

Jessica said...

HAHAHA! Fantastic. I may have to save the Tooth Fairy logic for my future children.

Erin said...

I was a late bloomer w/ everything, including losing my teeth. Didn't start that until I was 7. This is so funny.

Tracie said...

I think it's fine for girls to start school early but boys are not ready! Good thinking on the Tooth Fairy tactic. I hope it works.

Lady Ren said...

That is impressive detective work-
I hope she is able to get over being the "ONLY" one.

Corrie and Phil said...

The tooth fairy makes kids do crazy things! Phil's dad used to save all of their teeth (DON'T ASK ME WHY!), and Phil secretly found them one time. He thought he could get rich by putting them under his pillow. And that's when he learned the truth about the tooth fairy. Poor kid.