In the past year that I have been blogging, I have found one of the greatest things about it is that when you post something, you find that there is always someone out there who has been (or is) in the same situation.
Examples? Alivia’s urinary reflux, which I have posted about several times. Before I had my blog, I did not know one other person whose child had this problem. Now, I know at least two! Another example would be my infamous IUD post. After that post, I had at least two people (jokingly, I think!) offering to take it out and several other women who had emailed saying they’d had theirs removed and wished they had just taken it out themselves. Thanks to one of my BFF’s, I even got information from a midwife who said I could totally take it out myself, but the most difficult part would be grasping the strings.
I have many more examples, but I want to get to the point of my post. I received an email from a friend last week about a situation that has come up in her marriage. I thought and thought about it, and then I think I probably gave her the worst advice possible. After thinking about it further, I asked if I could post about it here to see what suggestions you all might have or if maybe someone has been in a similar situation?
From her email:
“_____ and I have been married for nearly 2 years. Before we got engaged he told me that he wanted to have a family with me. For the past two years he said he wanted to have kids but he just wasn't ready yet. On Sunday night he told me he never wants to have kids. He said he was taking the original plan off the table and that he didn't want his life to change so he doesn't want to have kids anymore. I don't know what to do and I am a complete mess. It has never been a secret that I want a family. How do I give up having kids to stay with him? Or how do I give up my marriage to him to have kids?”
I suppose you’re wondering what my advice was? Well, brace yourself, because this is going to make me sound like a terrible person. I told her I would get pregnant anyway. Yes, that’s what I told her. I told you it was terrible! So, before you comment with your answer, here is a little more information she told me after I gave my advice:
“I have thought about getting pregnant, but the one thing holding me back is that _____’s mom tricked his dad into having a baby and since _____ knows he was born out of dishonesty he is strongly against it. Also, we use condoms every single time.”
My friend (and I) would love your honest opinions on this, one thing I do ask is that you don’t bash her husband. Her husband is actually a very wonderful and supportive partner. They have been together for 8 years and they have a great relationship, so this change of heart was completely out of the blue.
So, there you have it. What would you do?
This post is linked to Shell’s Wednesday meme:
P.S. In case you’re curious about the IUD, it’s still in! I couldn’t grasp the damn strings!