Dial-up = Divorce.

The other day upon checking my email I found there to be four (yes, 4!) emails from Charter stating something along the lines that we had “illegally downloaded copyrighted content from the internet.”  At first I thought it was spam, but as I scrolled down I saw that the original email was from HBO, and the content in question was some episodes of True Blood.

True Blood?  You mean the same True Blood that my husband had been watching only days earlier.  Busted!  Initially, I found it somewhat comical, since he finally got caught.  But, as I scrolled down further through the email I saw that Charter stated they “reserve the right to cancel our internet service.”

Wait a minute.  Wha wha what?!  Cancel my service?  I don’t think so.  Now I was pissed.  Not at Charter or HBO, but at Shawn.  I rang his work phone and his cell phone at least 10 times, until he finally picked up.  I think he was on a doughnut break, but he won’t admit to it.  He didn’t necessarily laugh at the situation, but I could tell he wasn’t taking it seriously, and just stated “Whatever.  I’ll take care of it.”

He deleted the “content” as soon as he got home, but again, he was totally making light of the situation.  Enter this conversation:

 

Me:  “Don’t you get how serious this is?  People get fined and go to jail for this type of thing!” 

Shawn:  “Nobody’s going to jail.”

Me:  “You better not ever do it again, that’s all I have to say!  You know, Charter said they could cancel our service!”

Shawn:  “Yeah, and that would suck because there’s no other internet service around here.”

Me:  “Um, hello!  Then, you’d get in trouble at work too, since you’re required to have internet at home!”

Shawn:  “Well, we could always get dial-up.”

Me:  “What?”

Shawn:  “I said, there’s always dial-up.”

Me:  “If we had to get dial-up because of all this, I would divorce you.  I’m telling you that right now, I would divorce you.”

Shawn:  “You would divorce me because I made you get dial-up?”

Me:  “Yes, I would!  Now, wouldn’t that be embarrassing for you to have to tell people?”

Shawn:  “Uh, yeah.  That would be embarrassing.”

Me:  “I bet I could even get an annulment.  The priest would totally understand!”

Shawn:  “Ugh.”

Tami:  “You want to know the worst part about this?  You made me watch that show with you the other night and you warned me there was going to be nudity in it.  And there was nudity, but it was all boobs and vaginas!  I didn’t even get to see any cock.  Unbelievable.”

(I think that might have been the end of the conversation, because what more can you even say after that?)

 

I’m not exactly sure what the moral of this story is.  And, I’m quite sure I’ll probably lose at least one follower after this post.  Such is life.  At least I’m posting this from my high speed internet, so I have that going for me, which is nice.