As promised, the story of yesterdays stitches shenanigan. Before I start though, not one person guessed which child needed the stitches. Did you all just assume it was Alivia?
I’m trying to decide if I need to give background information to my new readers on how and why Alivia shouldn’t be allowed out of the house without a helmet. No, make that out bed. No, wait a minute…let’s just say this child should potentially be wearing a helmet 24/7. I’m not being mean here, I’m just being honest.
To make a long story short, in March alone I was called to her school twice for head related injuries. The first time for her flipping backwards off a swing and landing on a patch of ice, and the second time for her snorting an earring up her nose. Yes, you heard me. She snorted an earring. If you want to read about all that hilarity, click here first and then here. I promise you won’t be disappointed with either of those posts!
Anydrama. I got up at 7am yesterday to make it to spin class. Had I slept in like I truly wanted to, none of this would have happened. I guess it just doesn’t pay to look good naked. I blame my husband. I’m not sure why, but I do.
So, spin class is over and this Kidzone teacher frantically comes in looking for me. She’s all “We’ve been paging you overhead!” And in my head, I’m all “Well, that was stupid. There’s no speaker in the spin room and had you looked at the sign in sheet you would have found my location to be SPIN ROOM!” Duh. I later found out from Alivia that she had to tell them where I was after they couldn’t find me. Ugh.
Ok, moving on with the story. For reals. The teacher is all “blah blah blah, Alivia fell off her chair and has a bloody nose.” No kidding. Why am I not surprised by this? Well, because on her spring report card her teacher listed her only goal for the next semester as “Alivia has a problem falling off her chair, she really needs to work on this.” Seriously, that’s on her permanent record!
Long story short. She was a bloody mess, and after I looked at it, I realized the cut went about 1/2 inch up into her nose. Her two front teeth also got knocked very loose. I figured the teeth could wait because she already has a dentist appointment scheduled for Wednesday. But, I was pretty sure the nose thing needed stitches.
Again, longish story short. I ended up taking her into work because there was a plastic surgeon working today. After a lot of hemming and hawing, he decided it definitely needed to be stitched up inside her nose. He agreed to do it, but we couldn’t give her any sedation because she had eaten. I think everyone at work thought I was crazy, but after 3 unsuccessful attempts to inject numbing medicine, I decided to wrap her up like a cocoon and hold her down while he numbed it. Hey, it worked, and I’ve already held her down like this for 4 other procedures, so what’s #5?
Approximately .5 seconds after he was done she was all smiles like nothing happened!
I told her she could pick someplace for lunch, and she chose Wendy’s, which was awesome because their kid’s meals are $1.99 right now and I got one of their amazing new Apple Pecan Chicken Salads! Yummy!
After Wendy’s we went to Cookies by Design and got a bunch of yummy cookies to take to my co-workers for all their help!
(do you think there will be one left for me tomorrow?)
I’m also going to get the surgeon a gift card to Bonefish Grille, because he saved me a $50 co-pay to the ER (and possibly hours of my life waiting in the ER)! As my boss says, “sometimes it’s not what you know, but who you know.”
So there, you have it. The story of how my day went to hell in a hand basket. And to think, that still wasn’t “the worst day of my life!” Shhh…don’t tell Shawn though, because I’m going to milk this drama filled day for everything it’s worth. Go ahead, ask me how many times he’s held down this accident prone child of ours.