Monday, November 22, 2010

Don’t mess with women and shoes.

One weekend in March, just before spring break, we took the girls shoe shopping because they just had to have a pair of Sketchers Twinkle Toes.  While we were shopping Shawn said to me “I could use a new pair of black shoes.”  So, he goes to the men’s shoe department, tries several pairs on, and finally decides on something like this:

shoe

That may not be the exact shoe, but you get the idea.  A plain black leather shoe, with laces.  When he decided on that shoe, I asked him several times “Are you sure?  You’re sure you want a shoe with laces?”  Yes, he said he was sure.  Again I said “You realize those have laces?  I’m afraid you won’t wear them since they have laces.”  And then he got all huffy, insisting that yes, he would wear the shoes!

It’s not that my husband doesn’t know how to tie shoes, I assure you he does (I think).  But the fact is, men are lazy.  If they are standing at the door in the morning, and there are two pair of shoes staring at them, one with laces and one without, they would choose the pair without.  There could be a 20 dollar bill in the pair with laces, and my husband would probably still choose the other pair.  Hell, he might even choose a pair of Velcro shoes over the ones with laces!

What is my point?  My point is this, my husband doesn’t wear the shoes.  Not only does he not wear the shoes, but the slip-on ones that he has continued to wear are now totally disgusting.  I’ve asked him several times to wear the other shoes, I’ve even said “Can’t you at least wear the new pair to church?”  And he says he will, but he doesn’t.

So, on Saturday afternoon we went to church to get pictures taken for the new directory, and what do you think Shawn was wearing on his feet?  Do I need to answer that question.  I thought about saying something, but then I changed my mind.  I was formulating a plan.  I decided that on Sunday morning, if Shawn didn’t wear the new black shoes to church, that I was going to take the old pair.

Sunday morning came, and I heard he and the girls at the door getting their shoes on.  I was upstairs, and the whole time I was saying to myself “Make the right choice Shawn.  Wear the new shoes!  Don’t make me be a bitch.”  After they got in the car, I hurried downstairs.  The old shoes weren’t by the door, but I was still hopeful so I quick looked in the closet.  And there they were.  Not only were the new shoes still in the closet, but the laces were even tied.  Tied laces?  Yes, because even if he does wear shoes with laces, he still does his best to slip them on and off without untying them.  Sigh.

This could mean war, but I’m ready.  Besides, since the old pair of shoes is gone, he really can’t put up much of a fight.  Moral of the story:  Don’t mess with women and shoes.

20 comments:

MommyLovesStilettos said...

HAHAHA! I can't wait to hear his reaction when he can't find the old shoes! :)

The Tales from the Fairy Dust said...

Bahahaha. I also can't wait for the update on the shoe debate of 2010.

Erin said...

oh you are tooo funny. love me your stories on a monday morning!!

Lil' Woman said...

Haha....your too much..I heart you and your stories!

AtYourCervix said...

Seriously! Don't mess with women and shoes. EVAH! Reminds me of the time when my gross labor and delivery work shoes were stolen at work.

Needless to say, after some subtle manipulation, they reappeared in my locker a few days after they "disappeared".

Meghan said...

Girl, I could have written the same post! Not only does Mike refuse to wear shoes with laces, but he wears sandals. IN JANUARY. And it took him FOUR YEARS to buy new shoes. Ugh.

melissa said...

That's hilarious. I can't believe he won't tie shoes! Keep us posted on the Great Shoe Standoff of 2010.

blueviolet said...

Even I don't enjoy tying laces so I can't even be that mad at him.

purseblogger said...

I need to hear his reaction. :)

I'm Jane said...

Glue some velcro tabs on those babies! Classy AND convenient! He'll love it.

* Tyly * said...

You are effing hilarious. I can't wait to hear all about how Shawn reacts to this one!! :)

Taylor-Made Wife said...

Love it! What is it with men thinking they know better than their wives. Austin tries to do the same shit. "Babe, you are not going to use that". "Yes, I will." Its still in its box 6 months later. You're more brave than I am though, I'm still too scared to get rid of anything of his.

passionofthemom said...

LMAO That sounds EXACTLY like what I would do!! In fact, I secretly carted a whole bagload of crap off to Goodwill recently that he hasn't worn since we met 12 years ago but still clings to. UGH. The post makes me laugh, too, because my younger daughter also HAD TO HAVE a pair of those Twinkle Toes!! We found them on sale for $50 freaking dollars, and she used her Christmas money to buy them, and then the damn decals on the sides began peeling off after only 4 days on her feet!! Needless to say, Skechers are now banned in my casa. I also laughed because the shoes featured in the example photo of the ones your hubby bought are sitting at home in my closet...they are hubby's main pair of work shoes!! LOL Just thought the coincidences were hilarious. =) Great post!!!!

Llama said...

I 100% can feel your pain!! My boyfriend is also a shoe slipper-on-er. Im talking all of his shoes! It is sooo annoying. He will get brand new shoes or sneakers and tie them once and then...never again! URGH!!!!!

The Random Blogette said...

I freaking love it. Dave and I fight about his shoes all of the time. He actually has leather slip ons for work! I swear that he purposely buys the ugliest shoes just to piss me off.

I can't wait to hear what Shawn does! You guys sound so much like me and Dave!

And by the way I refused to buy my daughter the twinkle toes shoes because she destroys her shoes so quickly. I am such a mean mom.

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

lol- i knew EXACTLY where you were going with this as soon as i saw the pic of the shoe. my ex used to be just like that- wearing the same old shitty slip on day after day.

thank god he's my ex now. ;)

Day 2 Day Living said...

Hahaha...So what was his reaction? I would LOVE to take and throw away some of hubbys shoes, but I fear he'd end up in the hospital having a nervous breakdown.

Sazzle said...

Love it! And, no matter how great the man -- they are ALL lazy

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

LMAO!!! That is so funny. Tyler is totally a shoe whole and has over 20 pair. That is WAY more than me.

Boobies said...

Men just don't get what shoes are all about...tsk tsk Shawn!