Don’t mess with women and shoes.

One weekend in March, just before spring break, we took the girls shoe shopping because they just had to have a pair of Sketchers Twinkle Toes.  While we were shopping Shawn said to me “I could use a new pair of black shoes.”  So, he goes to the men’s shoe department, tries several pairs on, and finally decides on something like this:

That may not be the exact shoe, but you get the idea.  A plain black leather shoe, with laces.  When he decided on that shoe, I asked him several times “Are you sure?  You’re sure you want a shoe with laces?”  Yes, he said he was sure.  Again I said “You realize those have laces?  I’m afraid you won’t wear them since they have laces.”  And then he got all huffy, insisting that yes, he would wear the shoes!

It’s not that my husband doesn’t know how to tie shoes, I assure you he does (I think).  But the fact is, men are lazy.  If they are standing at the door in the morning, and there are two pair of shoes staring at them, one with laces and one without, they would choose the pair without.  There could be a 20 dollar bill in the pair with laces, and my husband would probably still choose the other pair.  Hell, he might even choose a pair of Velcro shoes over the ones with laces!

What is my point?  My point is this, my husband doesn’t wear the shoes.  Not only does he not wear the shoes, but the slip-on ones that he has continued to wear are now totally disgusting.  I’ve asked him several times to wear the other shoes, I’ve even said “Can’t you at least wear the new pair to church?”  And he says he will, but he doesn’t.

So, on Saturday afternoon we went to church to get pictures taken for the new directory, and what do you think Shawn was wearing on his feet?  Do I need to answer that question.  I thought about saying something, but then I changed my mind.  I was formulating a plan.  I decided that on Sunday morning, if Shawn didn’t wear the new black shoes to church, that I was going to take the old pair.

Sunday morning came, and I heard he and the girls at the door getting their shoes on.  I was upstairs, and the whole time I was saying to myself “Make the right choice Shawn.  Wear the new shoes!  Don’t make me be a bitch.”  After they got in the car, I hurried downstairs.  The old shoes weren’t by the door, but I was still hopeful so I quick looked in the closet.  And there they were.  Not only were the new shoes still in the closet, but the laces were even tied.  Tied laces?  Yes, because even if he does wear shoes with laces, he still does his best to slip them on and off without untying them.  Sigh.

This could mean war, but I’m ready.  Besides, since the old pair of shoes is gone, he really can’t put up much of a fight.  Moral of the story:  Don’t mess with women and shoes.