Confessions of a first time Black Friday shopper.

My Mom and I have gone shopping on Black Friday for the last 5 years or so, but we usually never leave the house until at least 8 am.  Hey, I never said we were hardcore.  So, there we were on Thanksgiving night (around 11 pm) when my Mom says “Let’s go right now.”  Wha wha what?  I had been awake since 8 that morning, and my Mom had been up since 6, and no one had taken a nap during the day.  This sounded like a bad idea.  And then my Mom said “Decide right now.  Either we leave now, or I’m going to bed.”  What the?  I didn’t want to be the weakest link, so of course I said yes. 

My Mom made a pot of coffee, I gathered up my coupons, my Dad told us not to go because he thought we had been drinking, and Shawn laughed at us.  But, we were off:

Did we have a plan?  No, but we had coffee and coupons, what more do you need?  So, here is what I learned (in no particular order):

• Just because Toys R Us opens at 10pm, doesn’t mean you will be able to get in at 12:30 am when you get there.  Everybody and their brother will also be at Toys R Us since it’s one of the only things open!
• People who wait outside of Target and Best Buy for days before Black Friday totally look homeless.
• Meijer will never look so good at 1 am when there is nowhere else to go. 
• Just because Meijer starts putting their Black Friday signs out at 2 am doesn’t mean they will give you that price.  Apparently their sale started at 5 am, however there was nothing on their Black Friday signs in the store stating “5 am.”  Meijer, I’m totally calling SHENANIGANS on that one!
• Bring warm clothes, because even though you may not plan on standing in a line outside the store, you may do it anyway for the love of being one of the first people in Kohl’s on Black Friday.
• Drinking coffee + standing outside in very cold air = the need to pee a lot.
• All 250 people who race into Kohl’s at 3 am will be ready to check out at the Exact. Same. Time.
• Kohl’s is very good at product placement.  When I got in line I had no gifts for Shawn, but when I finally got to the cash register two hours later I had 4!  Fry Daddy’s and Quesadilla makers never looked so good!
• Sometimes it doesn’t matter that the mall is open at 5 am.  When the delirium sets in, it’s best to stop buying.
• Don’t bother ordering a big breakfast when you finally make it to Bob Evans.  You will be too tired to eat it, and you won’t even have the energy to complain about wasting $17 on burned toast, fatty bacon, and cold potatoes.
• Don’t go to Kmart after breakfast just because it’s across the street and because sitting at breakfast has given you a small amount of energy.  Kmart is almost always a bad idea, and Kmart in the ghetto is a very bad idea!
• After being up for over 24 hours straight, seeing someone fall in the Kmart parking lot will seem like the funniest thing in the whole wide world.
• If and when you make it home, do not look in the mirror.  I promise you, you have never looked uglier.  Or maybe that was just me?

So, there you have it.  I came, I saw, I busted doors.  And two days later, I’m still recovering.