Tuesday, December 7, 2010

A season of change.

Today is my 8th wedding anniversary!  There are so many cliché things I could say about how wonderful my husband is, and how just being with him makes me a better person.  But, I’m not going to say that.  Anyone who has been married (or in a committed relationship) can tell you there are many different “seasons” to a marriage.  If I were to label this last year of our marriage, I would call it a season of “change.”

A year ago something happened in our lives, and in our marriage, and it forced us to make a difficult decision.  We all know the Bible verse that states “wives be submissive to your husbands,” right?  Well, if you know me, then you know I am not submissive…to anyone.  But, a year ago, I gave in.  For the first time in 7 years, I put my trust in God and in my husband that he would make the right decision for our family.  His choice was not the easy choice, or the popular choice…but a year later, I can see it was the best choice.  It was the best choice for us, and for our marriage.

That may sound strange, saying it was “the best choice for our marriage.”  What about our kids?  Well, I’ve come to realize over the last year that by putting our marriage first, we are putting our children first.         

Happy Anniversary Shawn!

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“All that I’m after is a life full of laughter

As long as I’m laughin’ with you

I’m thinkin’ that all that still matters is love ever after

After the life we’ve been through

‘Cause I know there’s no life after you.”

31 comments:

Jenny @ Practically Perfect... said...

Happy wedding anniversary :-) We'll be celebrating our 6th anniversary in about 2 weeks!

I know what you mean about marital "seasons". It's great when everything's going wonderfully, but we all have tough times. I've struggled with what it means to submit to my husband, too. It's hard when you've got 2 strong-willed people who both think they know what's best! It's also hard to trust that God will work things out. I just try to remember that Chris has our best interests at heart. Doesn't always make it easier, but it does make me feel a bit better. I'm really glad that things are working so well for the two of you :-)

PS - You guys are such a cute couple!

Llama said...

AWW! Happy Anniversary!!! I truly think that you are right...putting your marriage first DOES put your kids first. The girls are so lucky to have such amazing parents who care about them and each other so very much!

The Tales from the Fairy Dust said...

Congratulations on 8 years! So inspiring. Here's to many more :)

MommyLovesStilettos said...

Awww! Happy Anniversary!! :)

Hillary said...

Happy Anniversary to you and Shawn! I hope your ninth year of marriage can only be summed up by the word Joy.

Do you have a big date night planned tonight?!?

Amanda M. said...

Happy Anniversary. This was a beautiful post, Tami. XOXO

Lance Moon said...

This is a point of contention with my wife and I as well. I maintain that a marriage is most healthy when both spouses know that they are most important person in the others life. Even more important than the children. It seems a bit counter intuitive and callous even saying the words, but it is true. I feel strongly that we are setting a strong example for our children. Hopefully when they become adults, get married, and have children, they will make their spouse number one in their lives. The relationship between mother and father is the center by which all other aspects of the family revolve. A strong center makes for a strong and stable family.

Good post.

Lance Moon said...

This is a point of contention with my wife and I as well. I maintain that a marriage is most healthy when both spouses know that they are most important person in the others life. Even more important than the children. It seems a bit counter intuitive and callous even saying the words, but it is true. I feel strongly that we are setting a strong example for our children. Hopefully when they become adults, get married, and have children, they will make their spouse number one in their lives. The relationship between mother and father is the center by which all other aspects of the family revolve. A strong center makes for a strong and stable family.

Good post.

Ange said...

What a nice story. I will tell you a secret, I would LOVE for my husband to step up and take the biblical male role. At least long enough for me to put him back in his place.

Happy anniversary!

Jessica said...

Although I'm not married and I can't relate to you in that "department", I do agree that putting your marriage first IS putting your children first. Your marriage is important because it's what brought those sweet babies into this world. I'm glad that you two have had a wonderful 8 years together and I wish you many, many more!

Melissa said...

Happy Anniversary.

You now have me quite curious about this decision that was made... and the changes that resulted from that decision.

momma j lee ♥ said...

happy anniversary! i know what you mean about being a "submissive" wife. it took me a while to understand that concept and to realize that it's not about being less than someone, but being supportive and putting the one you love before yourself. it actually changed the entire course of our marriage once i gave in.

here's to many more years of marriage!!

Taylor-Made Wife said...

Happy Anniversary!! I love the two of you and you honest "real" relationship stories:)

Sassy Amie said...

Happy 7th Anniversary!
I can completely relate to being in different "seasons" of your relationship. I have been in a long-term committed relationship and we are continually going through different seasons which changes our relationship, but not necessarily in a bad way. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed your anniversary with your man!!

Amy said...

Happy Anniversary Shawn and Tami!

I love reading about your relationship because you don't sugar coat things. You include the good with the not so good. Your spunky take on marriage and life in general is what makes your blog so interesting. Hope you guys have a wonderful anniversary and many more happy years to come!

Corrie and Phil said...

Happy Anniversary!

Keep enjoying each other, making one another your priority, and laughing a LOT!

May you have many more years together...full of JOY and happy changes.

passionofthemom said...

Happy Anniversary!! My 11th was yesterday, and it's amazing to me how quickly the time has gone by. =) Here's to many more happy anniversaries for us all! ;D

blueviolet said...

Happy Anniversary!!!

I took a bible study class with my sister years ago and they talked about being submissive. That was just so hard for me to swallow, because I'm NOT the submissive type. My sister couldn't deal either.

I'm in awe of you, and you're a good lesson to all of us to trust in God's word.

d.a.r. said...

This made me all teary eyed. Happy anniversary!!!

Being submissive isn't always about being a doormat, it is about trust and respect. Kind of a hard pill for us independent types to swallow, though :) I'm glad it has done wonders for yall.

MrsDixon said...

Awe congrats to you guys!!!

Crystal said...

Good for you! I noticed BIG changes in our marriage (and our lives, for that matter) when I whole-heartedly gave the "head of the household" position to my hubby. To trust in Him and him completely...it's not easy, especially with the strong women that we are...but it's the right thing according to the bible...and it is always visible in the marriage. Good for you!!!

Tyly said...

A very happy anniversary to you and Shawn!

May God continue to bless your family.

Nikosmommy said...

Happy anniversary to you Mama! Husband I and I celebrated our 8th this year too.... hope you find something fun to do to celebrate, (because we always struggle with that...after all these years together!)

Heather said...

Perfectly said! Happy Anniversary!

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

That is so sweet!!! I don't know what happened, but I think you two are great!

Yankee Girl said...

Happy Anniversary! I'm so happy for you two!

Boobies said...

Happy Anny...you guys are so ridiculously adorable!

And you're right...having a strong marriage is one of the greatest things parents can do for their kids!

Brittany said...

Happy Anniversary!!! I LOVE this picture of you and your Husby. You all are so sweet! :)
I'm finally back into the blog world!! It's been too long! I have a lot of catching up to do with everyone.

Charbelle said...

Happy Anniversary!!! Wonderful picture of you two!!!

Amanda said...

A little late, but happy anniversary.
This was a great post Tami! Made me a bit emotional. Well, it added it my already overly emotional state.
I'm glad to hear that there are others that feel that their marriage should be put first.
Here's to another eight years.

Lil' Woman said...

Happy Anniversary!!! : )