Priceless.

Admission for 4 to Klackle Orchards:  $32.00

Leaving after 5 minutes to go to Wal-Mart for 1 fleece, 3 hats, 3 scarves, and 3 pairs of gloves because you listened to your husband when he said it was “warm” out, but it was actually colder than a well-digger’s ass:  $48.00

2 pumpkins:  $16.00

Apple Butter and Apple Bread:  $7.98

Getting your face painted,

  petting baby bunnies,

riding a giant rocking horse,

running thru a corn maze,

yelling at your Dad when he leads you to a dead end,

hugging your sister,

launching apples from a sling shot,having your 6 year old take your picture,

going on a wagon ride to pick apples,

munching on the apples,

seeing silly signs and trees starting to change color,

picking out your pumpkin,

watching your husband try to navigate the world’s tiniest shopping cart to the car through mud and pot holes without dumping the pumpkins,

  falling asleep in the car,

and laughing at your husband (while taking his picture) when you get home because he has to pee soooo bad, and the garage door is going up soooo slow:

 

PRICELESS.

Choices.

Every single Friday night for the past month I’ve said to myself, “Self, tomorrow morning you’re going to get up and go to the 7:30 am Spin class.” If for no other reason, I’d like to see what kind of people can make it there at 7:30 on a Saturday morning. Something tells me these people aren’t drinking a pitcher of Margaritas or going to a party like this the night before:

Who knows? I could be wrong.

It turns out I won’t find out today because when you roll out of bed at 9:30 it does not facilitate getting to a 7:30 spin class. I did not let that deter my need for exercise though. When I looked out my window I saw this:

Okay, that’s kind of a lie. What I actually saw was my neighbor’s ghetto fabulous blow up Halloween decorations and plastic pumpkins plastered all over her yard. But, when I looked beyond the Halloween vomit in my neighbor’s yard, I was able to see a beautiful sunshiny fall day. So, I thought, “I will go for a run!”

Just as I was looking for some clean running clothes rolling back over in bed for another 5 minutes (hey, I needed a little more energy for that run!) Lainey comes running (at least somebody was running) into the bedroom and says,

“Hey, Mama, want to come downstairs for cinnamon rolls and coffee?”

Seriously, who could turn that down?

After that delicious breakfast I could actually feel my ass getting bigger. There was nothing that was going to keep me from working out now! I just had to check something real quick before I changed my clothes.

Okay, facebook is like a black hole. You get sucked in, and you can’t get out. Before I knew it I was watching this:

Like, whoa.

Then, I decided I wanted to go to a pumpkin patch today. So I had to Google that, just really fast and then I will be out the door. For real.

It took me longer than I thought, but I finally decided to go here:

Ok, I just have to check my email, and then it’s off I go. I must have been sucked into a time warp because the next thing I know I hear Shawn and the girls getting ready to come inside for lunch. Oh my, I have to run upstairs and hop into the shower before they realize I’ve been doing nothing for the last hour and a half.

Oh no! What about this:

Better luck next Saturday, I guess. But, do I look super buff in that photo, or what?

Frugal Friday

After last weekend’s post a few of you asked me “Hey, where did you get those coupons?”  So, here is your answer!

My number one source of restaurant coupons is this:

The 8th graders at my daughter’s school sell this for a fundraiser.  For $20 you get a discount card which is about the size of a credit card, and a coupon book.  I bought this 2 weeks ago and I have already saved $21 with it!  What kind of coupons are in there?  Well, for example…

Two weeks ago when I posted about drinking a whole pitcher of Margaritas, we went here:

 

The coupon was buy one entree, get one free (up to $9.00). 

Last weekend, when we went here:

 

I used a coupon for $5 off your $20 purchase.  They also have a coupon for buy one entree, get one free, but it is only valid Mon-Thurs.  Don’t worry, I’ll be back to use that one!

It’s not just restaurant coupons either!  There are coupons for:  tanning, dry cleaning, oil changes, car washes, movies, golf, hair salons, and more.

Unfortunately, when I was on the key card website, it looked like this fundraiser was only in Michigan.  I could be wrong though.  If you do live in Michigan and you have the opportunity to buy one, definitely do it!  We had the card and book last year too, and we save $100’s of dollars.

My next favorite spot for restaurant deals is:

If you have never been to restaurant.com, stop reading this blog right now, and click over there!  This website has restaurants nationwide, so it’s for everyone!  They sell gift certificates which you print from your computer.  The $25 gift certificates generally sell for $10 or less.  Right now if you use the coupon code “FOUR”, you can get $25 certificates for $2.00!  Seriously, run, don’t walk to restaurant.com!

Now, what about the clothing coupons?

This is very simple.  I am the mailing list for all my fave stores!  I get coupons in the mail almost everyday for some type of clothing store for either myself or my daughters.  Getting on the mailing list is easy, just go to the store’s website and you can usually sign up there.

Also, if I’m going shopping and I don’t have a coupon for a store.  I just Google “printable coupon for (insert store name)”.  Usually something pops up.

Lastly, I save money at stores by being a frequent shopper and earning points.  Last year when we cut up all of our credit cards, the only one I kept was this one:

 

Mine is actually a Gap Silver Card which gets me even more great stuff!  I get free shipping every single time online at Old Navy, Gap, and (my favorite) Banana Republic.  I also get 10% off the first Tuesday of every month, free alterations at Banana, and I get every single coupon that comes out for each of those stores and their Outlet stores.  The best part though is the reward points!  Don’t tell my husband, but I bet I’ve earned at least $250 in free merchandise this year with my rewards!

I wish I could say I was one of those coupon clipping moms who gets crazy good deals on groceries too, but I’m not.  Sorry to let you down.

Does anyone else money saving tips for Frugal Friday?

On my honor, I will…

Everyday Alivia comes home from school with her “communication” folder jammed with random completed assignments, and other flyers asking you to donate money, or canned goods, or join this group or that sport. Blah, blah, blah. Most of the flyers are junk.

Once in awhile she intercepts a flyer, and is then convinced she must join or participate in whatever it is. Such as this:

Apparently, “Daisy’s” are before “Brownies” on the whole Girl Scout chain of command. So, I decide, okay whatever, be a Daisy. I was a girl scout for like a minute, and it was fun. Every girl gets a chance at Girl Scouts, right?

However, upon closer inspection of the flyer I found that there was not an actual Daisy troop at her school, but they were hoping to start one. If your daughter was interested you should send an email, and also let them know if you could help out at all. Okay fine.

Dear Head Girl Scout Lady-

“My daughter wishes to be a Daisy Scout. I think she only wants to sell and eat the girl scout cookies, but can you blame her? They are delicious! Please let me know if you get enough girls to start this thing. Oh, and if absolutely no one else in the whole wide world wants to help out, then I can.”

Yours Truly,

Girl Scout Drop-Out

So, a week or two goes by and nothing happens. Then last week I’m on the phone harassing my brother about why hasn’t my sister-n-law had their baby yet…when the girl scout lady calls. So, I hang up quickly telling my brother “I gotta go, the Girl Scouts are on the phone.”

Long story short, she says there enough girls, and would I still be interested in helping out? As in, would I be a co-leader? Wait a minute, what? I was definitely not thinking this…I don’t remember saying a definite yes, but apparently I didn’t say no either. A few days later I got an entire application home in the infamous “communication folder” from school.

Included are:

• Volunteer Application
• Registration (please send $12 to register! Oh, and another $12 to register your daughter!)
• Authorization for a criminal background check
• Authorization to check driving record
• Reference forms from 3 people (who aren’t related to me)

Seriously? My kid just wants to be a Daisy, I’m not applying to join the military.

I filled out everything, and then when I went to sign the registration it said by signing “I agree to abide by the Girl Scout Promise and the Girl Scout Law.”

I got kind of nervous at first, but then I read it and saw that it said “On my honor, I will try…” So, it just says “try.” I can do that, I mean I can “try” to do anything.

The reference thing is the only thing holding up my application process now. I asked my boss today if she would be a reference and she laughed. Maybe I should find someone else? I’m going to see my friend Abbie on Friday, and I was going to hit her up. Except that where I’m going to see her is at one of those, ahem, girls only x-rated parties. Hmm, I don’t think that breaks any of the Girl Scout Laws.

Author note: If there are any actual Girl Scout higher-ups reading this, please know that this blog is for entertainment purposes only. Given the opportunity, my daughter would be an excellent Daisy Scout. Also, my daughter (well, actually, I did) sold the second most magazines in her whole school last month in the magazine sale. I’m sure we would totally kick ass butt on the cookie thing!

“I want you to feel like you’re going to HURL!”

This is what the spin instructor said in class this morning.  “I want you to feel like you’re going to hurl.”  Um, okay.  Check.

The Monday morning spin class is only a half hour.  That’s easy, right?  I can handle that.  Not. 

It was a hard class, I’ll give you that.  So, at the end of the 30 minutes when I exited my vehicle and thought, “I’m gonna hurl”, I figured it must have been a good workout.

I left the spin room and immediately felt like, “eww, this is worse than I thought.”  So, I went to the lounge type area at the top of the stairs to rest for a few minutes.  I was sitting there and I said to myself, “Self, you are going to hurl.” 

I stumbled to the bathroom.  (yes, stumbled)  Women’s restroom:  Locked.  Great.  I tried the Men’s restroom (they are single stall, by the way), and it was unlocked.  I walk in and it smells horrible, and then I start to think not only am I going to puke, but I might pass out too. 

There is no way I wanted to pass out in the men’s bathroom with the door locked, so I thought I better go back and sit down, and possibly dial 911 (not really).

I made it back to the chairs (at the top of the stairway, which I totally regret sitting there where everyone could see me!) and notice there is no garbage, so I grab the first old lady to step off the elevator and say, “Please help me!”

The rest is history.  Yes, I hurled.  Yes, several people saw me because I wasn’t exactly in an ideal location.  Yes, this will possibly go down as one of the most embarrassing moments in my life.  No, I am still not giving up on spin. 

Oh, and there were 2 sweet ladies (who I don’t know) who sat with me getting me towels and ice, and eventually a snack.  I am so thankful to them, and to my hubby who came and picked me up.

One more thing.  I am never going back to the gym again.  Never.

Sorry for your loss of bangs…

This post is also alternatively titled:  “Weekend Recap.”

Saturday was the Michigan vs. Michigan State game, and Shawn was devastated they were showing the stupid game on a channel we don’t get.  Oh well, we had to go to Chuck E. Cheese anyway for my niece’s 4th birthday party.  I despise Chuck E. Cheese.  Every time I talk about going there someone at work asks me if they still have the urine pit?  Aka the ball pit.  For those of you without children, no, they don’t have the ball pit anymore or the Chuck E. Cheese band on stage.  It’s lame. 

Alivia and Lainey were all decked out in their Michigan jersey’s and my sister’s nephew showed up in his Michigan State one.

After the party we headed to the mall, so I could continue my search for the perfect black or grey dress slacks.  I finally found a pair at the Gap, woohoo!

I also got this sweater:

It looks really pretty with the pants, and I’m not sure, but I don’t think you can ever have too many cardigans!  I also had a 30% off coupon, my Mom is in awe of me because I always have a coupon for everywhere!

On our way out of the mall we stopped in here:

to check out a couple men’s shirts we saw in the window display.  We didn’t end up buying anything, but when we were leaving the sales guy who was talking to us said, “Oh, and sorry for your loss.”  I thought to myself, “Do I know that guy?  Oh, my gosh, somebody died!  Who died?!”  Then, I glanced at Alivia and Lainey walking in front of me, and said to Shawn, “Michigan lost.”  This was followed by several sighs and expletives.

The next 30 minutes were filled with Alivia and Lainey begging to spend their allowance.  This was their very first month of chores and allowance, so they were ridiculously excited!  I was excited too, because all month long Alivia had been saying she was going to buy this CD:

So, I was all set to rock out to “Party in the USA” on my iPod tomorrow at the gym.

However, they bought this:

and this:

Webkinz.  I got screwed.

Next, we went to dinner here:

because I had a coupon, of course!  It was delicious, especially my Long Island Iced Tea!

In addition to my quest for the perfect dress slacks, I’ve been on a mission to find fall decorations for our dining room table.  I looked at Bed Bath and Beyond, Cost Plus World Market, Pier One, and probably several more.  I finally found all of this:

at the most unlikely of places! 

Obviously, it’s nothing fancy, but fancy isn’t exactly possible with a 4 and 6 year old.

In the background of this picture you can see that the red and yellow colors of the kitchen coordinate almost perfectly with the placemats!  I’m a genius!

Now, last but not least, the bangs.

Two weeks ago I went to Alivia’s school mass on Friday morning.  I was looking around at all the girls in the school, and I noticed something.  Starting at 2nd grade, none of the girls had bangs.  And when I say none, I mean none!  Keep in mind this is a small school though.  But still, none?  I can’t help but wonder if there is a memo sent out at the end of 1st grade:

“Dear Parents of girls going into 2nd grade-

Please take note that starting in 2nd grade, female students are no longer allowed to wear bangs.  Please grow your daughter’s bangs out accordingly.  This is part of the dress code, and students who do not comply will be sent home until their bangs have reached chin length.  Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.”

In an effort to stay fashion forward, not because Alivia’s bangs are ridiculously long due to parental neglect Alivia tried wearing her bangs to the side today with a barrette.

What do you think?  The jury is still out for me.

Flashback Friday

Before I started my blog here, I had a super fabulous blog at:

Some of my posts over there are my favorites. Seriously. So, because I am sick and have no energy to write a new post, I am going to entertain you with a flashback from February 20, 2008. Oh, and I chose this one because of another “vagina moment” we had at my house yesterday.

“The Straw that Broke the Camels Back.”

I had to take Alivia to Devos Children's Hospital today to have some tests done. One of the tests was a simple kidney ultrasound. The other test was a VCUG (voiding cystourethrogram), which long story short involves putting a catheter in and taking some pictures.

Alivia was uncooperative from the moment she woke up this morning, I think Lainey realized this and decided to join in the fun as well. I was to meet my mother in law on Alpine at 10:00 am to drop Lainey off to her. We made it, but it was nothing short of a miracle.

When we arrived at the hospital Alivia seemed to be doing well, and the first test went off without a hitch. The second one, the VCUG, was definitely touch and go. The tech told me that she does indeed have reflux, which is what they were testing for. (She had surgery for this in June 2008.)

After all was said and done we went to "Old McDonald's" for some chicken nuggets.

From there we went here:

so I could get my coffee fix, after the morning from hell.

Unfortunately, I had to go in because the manager had some free coupons for me because of an issue that occurred on Monday. We spoke to the manager for quite awhile. He was being very friendly with Alivia asking her lots of questions, but she was looking at him like he was an alien sent here to ruin her already bad day. Towards the end of our visit he was still trying to make conversation, but finding a topic was becoming difficult. This is what ensued:

Jason (Biggby owner/manager): "So are you and your mom just hanging out around town today?"

Alivia kind of looks at me shyly, so I respond with: "Well Alivia had to have some tests done at the hospital today. We're all done though, so we're on our way to pick up her little sister."

Jason: "Oh, I hope you didn't have to get poked!"

Again, Alivia just kind of looks at me shyly. I am seriously hoping she has temporarily become mute.

Jason: "You didn't have to get poked by a needle, did you?"

Alivia (glaring at him): "No. They had to put a straw in my vagina."

Oh. My. Word. When I got to the car I looked at my 10 free coffee coupons, and realized they could only be used at this exact Biggby location. Great.