How did you do that?

I’ve been accused of being a “teaser” because of my last post.  Wha wha what?  I can’t believe it!

So, how did I get those deals?  Here’s the breakdown:

Let’s start with the Fryin’ Magic (or in my case Bakin’ Miracle):

This was on sale this week at Meijer for 1/2 off, making it $1.10 = $3.30 for 3.

On Meijer Meal box, there was a coupon for a $1 off 3 boxes of this item, which brought the total down to $2.30.

Also, attached to each box was a Manufacturer’s peelie coupon for $0.75 off each box.

Are you following?

That brings the total for those 3 boxes down to 5 cents!

Nivea Lip Care:

Right now these are on a price drop at Meijer for $0.99.

I had a $1 off coupon from my October All You Magazine for Nivea Lip Care, which made this item FREE!

There are also several of these $1 off coupons found online and in your weekly newspaper inserts.

Vegetables:

Meijer frozen vegetables are $0.99.

On Meijer Meal Box, you can print a coupon for 50 cents off each bag, making them $0.49 each!

You can print as many of these coupons as you want, so we are totally stocked up on frozen veggies!

 

and finally…

The Butter:

These tubs are on sale this week at Meijer for $1.33 each.

On Meijer Meal Box there is a coupon for $1 off 3 tubs, since I bought 6, this brings my total down to $5.98.

Are you ready, because here comes the best part…

For every 2 you buy, you get back a $2 Catalina, so I got $6 back in Catalinas!

Bringing the total down to FREE + I made 2 cents:)

Oh, and if you don’t know what a Catalina is, it’s the coupons that print from the machine when you check out, they are good for money off your next purchase.

 

I just realized that with my math and calculations, that brings my total to 51 cents, not 46 cents…so I’m not sure where I miscalculated!  Oh well.  Anyway.  How did I know about all these deals?  Did I figure them out myself?  Hell.  No.  There is a local blog I visit that does all the match ups (deals) for the stores in my area each week!  I even went to a coupon class they hosted on Monday night!

I’m sure I’m going to get comments from people saying “Boo, there’s no Meijer where I live!”  Don’t panic!  Go to your local store’s website, and look there for store coupons.  Store coupons can be paired with a manufacturer’s coupon, and that’s how you get the best deals!  Also, look for a blogger in your local area who does the match ups each week.  Couponing is very popular, so there’s bound to be someone!

Watch me work it, again.

Ok, I was finally going to post some NYC pictures today, but then something better came up!  Well, not better than NYC, but a better post than the NYC one would have been.  Pinky swear.

Remember last winter and spring when I was coupon crazy and I posted about a few of my deals?  Well, if you don’t remember, I did.  Trust me.  And, a lot of you were inspired and said you wanted to start couponing too!  So, did you?  Well, did you?

If you didn’t, let me inspire you again.  Ok?

How much would you pay for that?  Any guesses?  That’s 6 tubs of butter, 3 boxes of Bakin’ Miracle (like Shake N’ Bake), one package of frozen vegetables, and one tube of Nivea chapstick.

Before I go any further, yes, I realize that’s a lot of butter.  I even got a couple questions from a lady standing by me in the check-out.  She asked me if it was on sale, but the look on her face was more like “What’s that skinny bitch doing with all that butter?”  The butter is for us, and it will probably last 6+ months.  One of the keys to couponing is “stock-piling” when items are at rock bottom prices.

Speaking of rock bottom prices…how much did I pay for all that?  46 cents!  Yes people, 46 cents for all of it!

Not inspired?  Ok, well I thought I’d try.  Move along, show’s over, nothing to see here.

Monday Minute: Christina style!

It’s time for another Monday Minute, and guess what?  Monday Minute is now owned and operated by none other than my girl Christina!  This is Christina’s first week hosting, so if you’ve never joined in please click over and do so!  What are you waiting for?  Wait, didn’t I say that last week?  I think I did.  Whatever.  So what are you waiting for?

Ok, without further adieu, this weeks questions:

1.  What’s the last restaurant you went to and what did you order?

I really had to think about this one because we haven’t been eating out much lately!  What’s up with that?  Ok, so I believe it was Qdoba.  I love love love Qdoba, but I think I already told you that!

What did I order?  The same thing as usual:

2.  What’s your greatest phobia?

Hahaha, this is a hilarious question for someone with OCD!  I will narrow it down to death.  Not so much my death though…death of my children, my husband, my parents, etc…

3.  On a scale of 1 to 10, how hot are you?

Seriously?  I’m like a 10, a total MILF, if you know what I mean!  Come on, just look at me:

(I’m the one on the left!)

(This picture is from the NYC trip, and that’s the dress I wore to the wedding, which so many of you were asking about!  Oh, and this is at the Lion King Theatre.)

Ok, you know I’m joking about being a 10, right?  I would put myself more at a 7.

4.  You just found out you (or your partner) are having a baby.  What’s your reaction?

Well, if I found out Shawn was preggo I’d be really excited because we would probably get rich!  A dude having a baby?  That just reeks of publicity and money, money, money!

If I found out I was pregnant, I’d be really excited too.  Except I’d be pretty sure it wasn’t my baby because, well, you have to have sex to get pregnant!

5.  You just won a free vacation to anywhere in the world.  Where would you go?

Anywhere where there is sun and sand and the alcohol is flowing like water!

 

Happy Monday Bitches!!

Feel Good Friday: Door #3.

Let’s see.  Where were we?  Oh, that’s right.  Door #3!  So, there I was on Tuesday evening driving home from work when my cell phone rings.  It was Shawn.

Me:  “Hello?”

Shawn:  “Holy Shit.  Holy Shit.  Hooooo-lllllllllly SHIT.”

Me:  “What?!”

Shawn:  “Holy Shit.”

Me:  “A few more details would be nice.”

At this point, I honestly don’t know what to think.  I mean, he’s basically speechless, so this is either really good or really bad.  For a brief second, something crossed my mind and I thought “OMG!  My prayers have been answered!”  Wrong.

Shawn:  “You know those cabinets hanging above the computer?”

Me:  “Yeah, I know the cabinets.”

Shawn:  “Well, one of them isn’t there anymore.”

Me:  “What the?!”

Shawn:  “It fell off the wall.”

Me:  “I blame the installer.” (him)

Sigh.  I could not believe this happened.  The cabinet was directly above the computer monitor.  And when I say cabinet, I mean cabinet, I don’t mean a book shelf, I mean a cabinet!  See for yourself:

 

That’s the cabinet on the right side, the one that is still attached to the wall (for now).  It doesn’t look too full, does it?  I mean, they are designed for “storage,” right?  I don’t remember seeing a weight limit anywhere!

Now, here is the cabinet from the left side, exactly how Shawn found it when he came home:

And here’s where it used to be:

Directly above the computer! 

This is all that’s left now:

So Sad.

This post today is linked to Feel Good Friday, and you might be saying to yourself “Wha Wha WHAT?”  Yes, my office is now a total disaster, and yes, it was most likely brought on by us.  However, there are some things to feel good about.  Most importantly, the computer somehow survived, even though I have no idea how.  It’s a miracle!  My camera which was spewed out of the cabinet, also survived, phew!  And the cabinet?  The cabinet is amazingly completely intact.  So, those are all things to feel good about!  Not to mention, we learned something from this:

1.  Stop hoarding!

2.  IKEA furniture is as tough as nails!

 

Oddly enough, when I told Shawn how amazed I was that the desk and cabinet were still in good shape, he said “Well, maybe it didn’t fall hard.  It might have fallen slowly.”  Um, yeah.  Is it possible for a cabinet to fall off a wall in slow motion?

My Dirty Little Secret or a Beautiful Mess.

On Monday when I posted the picture of my nightstand, I figured one of two things would happen.  (1) Either you would think I was a total slob and threaten to call Hoarders on me, or (2) You would tell me you could totally relate to that mess.  So, which one was it?  Well, long story short…I’ll tell you later.

The good news is I actually cleaned off the night stand.  Go me!  The bad news is, there’s an even bigger mess behind door #2.  And with that, I give you:

My Closet!

This is looking in the closet, which is basically about all you can do…don’t even think about walking in there!

A view of the left side:

One of the shelves:

Another view of the floor:

 

 

So, why am I showing you this?  Well, I really want to get on that show Hoarders and I’m hoping someone will nominate me.  I kid, I kid.  You didn’t really think I was serious, did you?  Don’t answer that.

Last weekend I was staring into the abyss that is my closet, when I (jokingly) said to Shawn “What if this closet was a metaphor for my life?”  To which he replied “Cluttered, with a lot of pieces that don’t fit?”  Um, no.  That wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.

What does this mess say about me?  Quite frankly, all it says is “I am a busy wife and mother, who is lucky enough to have a cleaning lady, but when the cleaning lady comes we shove shit in every nook and cranny, so that she can…well, clean.”

Back to the original question, what happened when I posted the picture of my nightstand?  Some of you were shocked, some of you laughed, a lot of you loved it, and nobody called Hoarders.  And to my surprise (and delight) some of you said your nightstand looked a lot like mine!  Which leads me to this question, can anyone compete with my closet?  Is anyone brave enough to post a picture?

Stay tuned Friday for the best mess yet!  What do you suppose is behind door #3?

Monday Minute: Be your own hero.

 (creepy picture and all!)

Yes, I’m here!  It’s really me!  I’m coming out of retirement to do Monday Minute because it’s Ian’s last official time hosting.  Sad, but true.  If you’ve never participated, what are you waiting for?

Ok, enough chit chat…on with the questions!

1.  Have you ever lied on one of your Monday Minute answers?

Nope, never.  I’ve never lied about anything on my blog, so I can say with 100% certainty that I haven’t lied on Monday Minute.

2.  What is on your bedside table?

Oh, let’s see…an iPod dock, a lamp, a coaster, magazines…  Oh hell, isn’t a picture worth 1000 words?

(Don’t judge, I was just getting ready to clean the bottom off, for real.  Yeah right, who am I kidding?)

3.  Lose your sight or hearing?

Definitely hearing, without a doubt.  Who knows, I might even like it!  Not hearing my husband snore or his super loud chewing?  Yes, please!

4.  Would you rather give up all kinds of sexual contact for one full year or give up your DVR for 3 months?

Wow.  Weird question.  I think the DVR is the obvious answer, but the more I think about it, the more I love the DVR.  Come on, it’s Fall and all the good shows are coming on soon!  Ok, fine.  I’ll give up the DVR, but the sex better be good!

5.  Name one thing that you are proud of that you’ve accomplished in your life?

Well, again, I could go with the most obvious answer of my daughters because they truly are my greatest accomplishment.  But, I’m going to step outside the box today and tell you about my greatest accomplishment as a nurse. 

Are you ready?  One time when I was working med/surg I put a Foley catheter in a 450+ pound woman!  And, I did it with only one other nurse’s aide helping, who really wasn’t much help at all.  The nurse’s aide kept trying to hold the stomach up, but like that was really possible?  Meanwhile, the patient kept telling me there was no way I was going to get it in, and I honestly believed her.  I swear, I closed my eyes and said a prayer and held my breath, and the next thing I knew it was in.  I was a hero!

Until further notice...

Another edition of ICMTSU courtesy of Alivia!

For future reference ICMTSU = “I Can’t Make This Shit Up”

 

Before we begin, does anyone have a guess on how long it was before I got a call from the girl’s school?  You know, a call like “Your daughter flew off a swing and landed on a patch of ice” or “Your daughter’s stomach itches” or the best one of all time “Your daughter lost her earring and she thinks it went up her nose.”

Seriously, any guesses?  A day?  A week?  A minute?

The answer is:  one day.  Yes, one day people.  I received my very first phone call on the second day of school.  It was a doozy too.  To start, let’s go back to this picture I posted on Tuesday:

A few of you asked about Alivia’s shoes in the comments on that post, which was cracking me up, because those shoes are the subject of this post.  So, for those of you who wanted to know about them…they are actually from the Disney store, but we got them a year ago.  Here is a close-up picture of the shoes for Yankee Girl (who begged me for this picture):

 

They are definitely cute shoes!  Like I said, we bought the shoes last year, but because they are quite wide, they were too big all year.  Well, last Tuesday on the first day of school, Alivia dug these shoes out from who-knows-where and proclaimed that she was wearing them.  Shawn told her “No” because he thought they were too big.  On the second day of school, she again announced she was wearing them and after trying them on she declared them to be “perfect!”  After I looked at them, I told her No Way, because I could see that now they were too small.

Of course, she wouldn’t take No for an answer, and she went on and on saying that they fit, they were perfect, and blah blah blah.  So, finally I said “Fine.  You may wear the shoes, but I don’t want to hear one single complaint about how they hurt your feet!”  I knew they would be too small, but she would learn a lesson, and by the end of the day victory would be mine.  Right?  Wrong.

So, there I was in Yoga Strength class on Wednesday morning minding my own downward dog, when I see the green light start flashing on my phone.  Hmmm.  What could this mean?  I scooted my down dog over to my phone to check it out.  “Missed Call” and “New Voicemail” it read.  I didn’t recognize the number right away, but something about it just reeked of Danger!  I stupidly decided to leave class early, just in case it was a true emergency.  The emergency sounded a little something like this:

“Hi Tami, this is Colleen (school secretary).  I was calling because Sarah (Alivia’s teacher) said Alivia was complaining her shoes are too small and they’re hurting her feet.  We were wondering if you could bring her another pair?”

 

Bahahahahaha!!  Let me think about that.  Can I bring her another pair of shoes?  Um, no.  No, no, and no.  Whatever happened to the “Do Not Call List?”  I thought I was supposed to be on that list!

First Day of School! First Day of School!

Ok, ok, I admit it.  Today was not my kids first day of school.  They went back last Tuesday, but the public schools in Michigan started today, so this post is somewhat legit.

Getting ready to leave…Alivia wouldn’t smile and Lainey had been crying because Alivia had socked her (or something):

Heading into school:

(I took a picture of them in front of the school too, but I’m not posting it because of potential internet creepers!)

We walked Alivia to her classroom first, here she is at her desk:

Lainey hanging her backpack up (hers is the purple one):

Her best buddy, Emma, was already there waiting for her:

Lainey with her teacher:

This was actually the second day of school, but a couple people have asked me about Alivia’s actual uniform, so this is it:

 

She has plaid jumpers, skorts, and pants for the winter.  The girls in 1st-5th grade have to wear the plaid, and junior high girls can wear navy pants.  The shirts have to be either white or light blue.  For the first and last months of school the elementary girls can also wear navy skorts or shorts if they choose to.

Oh, and I also got a question about why Lainey doesn’t wear a uniform.  The only requirement for the Kindergartners is that they can’t wear jeans, other than that almost anything goes.

Since today was the first day of school for public schools, it was the first day for Lainey (and Alivia) to ride the bus.  They get on the bus at daycare, ride that bus to a public elementary school, and then transfer to another bus to go to their school.  I was SO nervous when Alivia had to do this in Kindergarten, so I’m glad Alivia is there now to help Lainey!

Waiting for the bus to get there:

Lainey with her friends Janessa and Karys:

Waiting outside now:

Bye girls!

I just realized I never posted about something else, which you may have noticed in these pictures…

The girls got their hair cut!

Here is the best before picture I could find:

Lainey’s after:

I just love the way her hair turned out, and it’s so easy for me to do!  Lainey’s only complaint is that everyone keeps asking her if she got a perm!  The answer is NO!

Alivia’s after:

Alivia’s is so cute too!  She got some layers cut into it, and it is also angled longer in the front.  I promised her she could grow her bangs out after school pictures, so we’ll see how that goes!

Sorry this post got so long, but I hope you enjoyed all the pictures.  Hopefully your kids (and all the teachers out there!) had a great first day/week of school too!

Is anyone home?

Does the internet close down on the weekend?  I think it does.  Maybe no one will even read this post.  That’s ok, I just wanted you to know that I’m still alive!

Can you believe that I didn’t do Monday Minute or Feel Good Friday this week? Gasp.  I’m a total slacker.  You know what I need?  I need a laptop.  Now that the girls are in school, I’m not at home, but most of the time when I’m out I don’t even do anything.  My whole day is just limbo land.  I think I’ll ask for a lap top for my birthday.  Well, either a lap top or a stripper pole.  For reals.

So, let me make this clear.  If my husband is reading this, For my birthday I want either this:

or this:

Ok, now that we got that out of the way.  What is everyone doing this weekend?  I wanted to go to the beach, but guess what?  It’s cold here in Michigan!  Very cold!  My cousin announced on Facebook that she even saw snow.

Clearly that was an exaggeration, but when it goes from 90 degrees to 50 degrees in a matter of a few days, people get a little testy!  Including me.  I knew I would have to wear jeans today, and I was somewhat concerned that my jeans wouldn’t fit (more on that later), so I refused to get out of bed.  Shawn came in the bedroom and literally attempted to drag me out of bed.  There was a definite struggle, and within seconds he was yelling for the girls to come and help him.  That’s when we heard this:

Lainey:  “Dad says he needs help, what does he want?”

Alivia:  “I don’t know, Mom’s probably just cock-punching him.”

 

And the mother of the year award goes to:  ME!

Wordless Wednesday or Epic Fail or…

This is as naked as it got: