Thursday, April 22, 2010

Do. Not. Call.

Would you believe I got another call from Alivia’s school this week? Seriously. I’m so glad they called too, because it definitely was a true emergency (insert sarcastic tone here). Just listen:

Me:911, what is your emergency? Hello?”

Secretary: “Hi Tami! Um…I have Alivia here with me.”

Me: “Yeahhhhh…”

Secretary: “She says her side itches.”

Me:WTF What?”

Secretary: “Her side itches.”

Me:Yeah I heard you the first time Okay, so?”

Secretary: “Do you want me to put her on the phone?”

Me:No, I want her to put her big girl panties on and go back to class! I guess.”

Alivia: “Mommy, my side itches.”

Me: “Yes, I know. Your skin is dry…remember, we talked about it this morning?”

Alivia: “Yeah, but I don’t like it.”

Me:Well, I don’t like being called about itchy skin Well, I’m sorry, but we’ll put some lotion on after school.”

Alivia: “Ok, well Mrs. Secretary says she has some lotion she’ll give me to put on in the bathroom.”

Me: “Great idea! See you after school!”

(secretary gets back on phone)

Secretary: “Is it okay if I give her the lotion, and she can put it on in the bathroom?”

Me: “Yes, that’s great! Thanks, goodbye. Peace out and don’t call me again for this type of shenanigan!”

Ok, people, that was Monday. Let’s fast forward to tonight now. I’m at the school setting up refreshments for the Art Night. The principal comes in and starts talking to me. I wasn’t paying that close of attention, but I thought I heard him say “she was in the office” and “she needed a Band-Aid.” So, I’m like “Wait a minute, are you talking about my kid? She was in the office again today?!” He says “Yeah,” and gives me this look like “duh.”

At this point I think I went off on a tangent, and asked him if he knew they called me again on Monday, this time regarding “itchy skin?!” He laughed. Yes, he laughed. He said sometimes they like to err on the side of caution, but there are some parents who are on the “Do not call me unless there is blood, vomit, or fever” list.

Then he said, if I wanted, I could be on that list! What? The school has a “Do not call” list? Sign me up! However, I do have to wonder what the earring incident would fall under?

29 comments:

carrie1 said...

ha ha ha ha ... gotta love kids! =)

magically ordinary said...

I want a do not call list!! I'm calling my school tomorrow.

And, I love the "put her big girl panties on" comment. I use it all the time!!! (:

Lil' Woman said...

Lol...that is hilarious.
I'm pretty sure when I was growing up my mom was on the Do Not Call List! :)

Sazzle said...

lol!!! So, they keep two lists: "crazy mom" and "normal mom" list? :)

Kelsey Claire @Lavender, Leopard, and Lace said...

Haha. I get so mad when teachers take kids down to the office for no good reason. I just tell them to suck it up and deal with it. Apparently most parents don't agree with my philosophy. Good thing I am only a speech path so I don't have much power!

Mary Beth said...

I have been called once this year, and it was because my then 5 year old ran into the wall in the gym and busted his lip. I told them they could put ice on it and send him back to class. lol I mean, it wasn't like he needed stitches. These kids, lol the things they do for attention.

jill said...

you are FABULOUS! love this. and you'd loooove me ... i don't call unless your kid is covered in blood or trying to choke another kid. :) haha!

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

"Peace out and don't call me again..."

the highlight of this entry.

blueviolet said...

So it's the kids that that cry wolf list. Kinda funny there's such a thing!

I'm Jane said...

I am SO with you on this! I got a call a few weeks ago because "she had a pimple and it hurt." It was really a mosquito bite that she had scratched the shit out of. Yeesh.

Paige said...

Lol, this is hilarious!

Ange said...

At the boys last school, in Louisiana it was the opposite of your daughter's school; they never called for anything. For instance the time that they forgot to give him his medicine that prevents him from having his seizures. And even when my son broke his leg on the playground. They just let him tough it out until he came home from school three hours later.

So now at the new school here in Texas I am defiantly on the "crazy mom list" which means call for every single thing dealing with my children, just not to complain that I parked in a no parking zone again.

Shell said...

LOL at that list! That's the one I want to be on.

Unfortunately, there are parents who would throw an almighty fit if the nurse allowed their child to put on lotion without a call home.

Laura and Ryan said...

That's so funny! It's funny that they call for everything b/c I remember hitting my head really hard falling off the monkey bars and by the time I made it to the nurse there was a huge welt. She refused to call my mom and my mom about freaked when she saw me after school. She marched me back in and demanded she be called if her child has a possible concussion. Maybe it's public vs. private! LOL

Taylor-Made Wife said...

Oh wow. The more they let her go to the office for the little things, the more she is going to think she can get away with it.

purseblogger said...

LOL, this cracked me up! Amazing what they'll call you for.

Amber said...

My daughter is in the nurse's office normally twice a day and they call me ALL the time, consider yourself lucky:) I've already told the nurse if she's not running over a 101 temp or vomiting in front of you, not just telling you she threw up; send her back to class!

Hillary said...

I think my mom would have begged for such a thing as the no-call list. I don't think I was a complete pain in the ass, but I did want her to know about everything, and I mean EVERYTHING!

Come to think of it, I still kind of do complain to her about every little ache and pain. I guess you know what you might have to look forward too.

Marketing Gurl said...

OMG, OMG!!! I am not there yet...but OMG...this is great...sorry to laugh at your situation...don't get mad but really. I love children...okay so I haven't told anyone this yet because I am a new mom, but it was bring your child to work day at work and this girl came out of the bathroom (maybe 5 or 6) with everything down, undies and all. I hid it the bathroom and heard her playing with the water and I really was waiting so she wouldn't ask me for help. Wow. When I come back to your blog I will tell you a similar story of my friends kid that faked like his leg hurt and made it all the way to the doctor (copay) for that fake one..he couldn't remember which leg. Anyways I follow now! Love, MG

Meghan said...

Oh my gosh, I would die. Schools these days are almost too careful and concerned about certain things. At my school, instead of punishing kids for using cell phones in class, the deans work with them and talk about their feelings...

Umm...

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

Emily was just like that last year because she KNOWS they will cll me and I am at home and then she can come home. Drove me nuts!!!

This year I just remind her that unless blood is gushing out of her she stays in class, or if she passes out or vomits, then she can go to the nurse!

Last year the nurse and I were BFFs!

Heather @ Gerber Days said...

They called you for itchy skin! hahah. I would definitely get on the "do not call list"!

I'm glad you're not the paranoid mom who freaks out about every little thing.

Have a great weekend!!!

Erin said...

omg. so funny. sounds totally like my kiddos. they are always wanting me to kiss boo boos, get them band-aids for injuries that are apparently invisible, etc....ack!

Leah said...

Hahaha! I know how you feel. I guess it would be better to be on that Do Not Call list. xoxo

Lesli said...

omg, how funny, you had me laughing the whole time! Never a dull moment!! We have itchy skin in our house too, Ayla frequently gets out of bed to tell us that her arm, leg, whatever is itching...

Hope Chella said...

Funny!!!

Happy Sunday,
Hope xx

http://hopechella.blogspot.com/

MrsDixon said...

This is too funny! Alivia sounds just like I was...always trying to con myself in that nurses office to go home!! Don't worry,she'll turn out fab., at least, I think I did!

Kristi B said...

I am so behind on my blog reading. Glad to know I didn't miss out on this shenanigans of Alivia's! That girl cracks me up!

Mrs. Howell said...

I just found your blog and I just scrolled down and read this post first. . .um, fate! My son's school calls me CONSTANTLY. He's not "itchy"; he has shoe problems. I have had no less than 5 seperate calls regarding his shoes. They are too tight or too loose. He takes them off at nap time (they're not supposed to) but won't take them off to shake the sand out. The velcro shoes are a distraction. The tie shoes are too hard to get on and off. It is never-ending!
Your conversation made me laugh so hard because seriously that is how I am on the phone and what I'm really thinking in my head!! :)