I’ve been had.

Remember this adorable picture of my sweet innocent 4 year old opening her Nintendo DS on Christmas morning?

That was a look of pure joy.  Well, it turns out that may have also been a look of Sweet Success.

In order to explain this, I have to back track to November 7th, Alivia’s (and MY!) birthday.  Alivia’s big present was a Nintendo DS.  She turned 6 and we thought she was responsible enough (clearly, this was before the great shoe incident) to have one and old enough to play the games.  From the get go, it appeared to be Lainey’s master plan to sabotage the gift and fight over it, until we bought her one.  Being that Lainey is only 4, we told her she wasn’t “old enough” to have one yet.  We told her maybe when she turned 5 she could get one.

Well, the very next week one of Lainey’s friends from preschool brought her Nintendo DS in for show-and-share.  That day Lainey marched right home and told us that she was old enough for a DS since her friend had one!

We himmed and hawed over it, and finally told her she should put it on her Christmas list, that maybe Santa would bring her one.

Enter the above picture.  Since Christmas she hasn’t actually even played it that much, but she is damn proud of that thing.  Every friend or family member she comes in contact with, she announces “I got my own DS!  I got my own DS for Christmas!”

Fast forward to today.  I took both girls to see the Alvin & The Chipmunks movie, and they each brought a friend.  The friend Lainey brought was, you guessed it, the friend with the DS. 

After we picked her up she was very quiet, so I tried to make conversation with her by asking her what she got for Christmas.  She kept telling me she couldn’t remember.  Lainey of course, announced her good fortune of Santa bringing the DS.  When Lainey brought up the DS, I asked her friend “Did you get any games for your DS for Christmas?”  She said, (and I quote):

“I don’t have a DS.”

What?  When I questioned her about it, she said she did not have a DS, but she had a Leapster.  A Leapster.

Later tonight I brought up the situation to Lainey, and she just smiled and said “Well, I think I said what she had was like a DS.”

I do believe I was scammed by a 4 year old.

Christmas Joy.

I recently found out that the holidays can bring out the worst in some people.  I would love to write about this here, but can’t due to my blog being “public.”  My “real life” friends and family, and Facebook friends know what I’m referring to, and I trust that you won’t comment on it here.  In an effort to move past it, I am choosing to focus on the positive, and hope you don’t mind a long picture post filled with the many moments of Joy that were present in our Christmas!

My girls and I on Christmas Eve:

 

Decorating Santa’s cookies:

Putting cookies, milk, and an Oreo ball out for Santa…oh, and carrots for the reindeer!

Dear Santa,

Santa came!

Coming downstairs Christmas morning…

Santa brought Alivia “Zambi” the pet Elephant:

The look on Lainey’s face when she opened her Nintendo DS from Santa was Priceless!

Alivia wanted a princess art activity set, and Santa brought her one which she said was even better than the one she asked for!

The girls with their cousin, Kaytlin, on Christmas morning at my parent’s house.

(They were patiently waiting for my sister’s family to get there, so we could open presents!)

My Dad, with baby Ethan:

All the cousins!

From L to R:  Alivia, Lainey, Alyssa, Natalie holding Alex, & Kaytlin holding Ethan.

Not pictured is Ryan James who was born today, December 29th!

 

Kaytlin and Ethan:

Opening presents at Grandma & Grandpa’s:

It cracks me up that Alex looks so excited here, even though what he was opening was clothes!

(He must have known it was from his favorite Aunt!)

Lainey and Alyssa both got these “Dance Around Dora” dolls from my parents.  Lainey was so excited, because I think she forgot that she even asked for it!

Lainey helped me open my presents when I was done.  Shawn didn’t get a picture, but I got a fabulous leather jacket from my parents!  We also got a wad of cash, which I’m trying to keep secret from Shawn (Ha!).

These tired little ones watched a movie while Grandpa napped on Christmas afternoon:

This last picture is out of order, but I wanted to share it anyway.  It’s from the night of the girl’s school Christmas program:

 

I hope you all had a joyful Christmas as well!

Merry Christmas! 

With one sick girl, and another who is seconds away from the “naughty list”, I’m hoping for a Christmas miracle!

My favorite things…

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens,

bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens

brown paper packages tied up with strings,

these are a few of my favorite things.

 

Yeah, not really.  Ok, not even close.  Seriously, whiskers on kittens?  As my daughter would say, Who cares about that?  I’m sure this makes me a bad person, but I’ve never even seen that movie in it’s entirety.  (Gasp!)

I am going to tell you about a few of my favorite Christmas things though.  Let’s start with my favorite Christmas movie, I think it’s safe to say this is my husbands fave too.

Last night as I was wrapping presents and trying to talk my kids out of giving their daycare teachers the peppermint bark so we could eat it Shawn announces “Hey, we haven’t watched Christmas Vacation yet, let’s watch it!”  I’m trying to remember if it was at the point where Clark envisions the model stripping in the pool or at the end when Clark goes off about his boss ending it with “Hallelujah Holy Shit!”, where we decided this probably wasn’t a children’s movie.  Yes, we let our kids watch it, real classy, huh?

Next, my favorite hand made Christmas gift this year is the ornaments I made for my girl’s classmates:

Aren’t they adorable?  So easy too!  So far, I’ve made 32 of these bad boys, and I might make a few more if I have time in between eating Oreo truffles and drinking Margaritas.

Speaking of Margaritas, or wait, we weren’t talking about Margaritas, were we?  Anyway, my favorite holiday drink is Orange-Vodka Slush, which is an old recipe of my Grandma’s. 

 

I’m not sure why we only drink it at Christmas though, I might have to check into that.  Drinking it only at Christmas might be some sort of alcohol discrimination, and I would hate to discriminate against alcohol.

My favorite “warm” Holiday is beverage is hands down the Peppermint Mocha from Starbucks:

 

And, is it just me, or do all their drinks taste better in that red Christmas cup?  For real.

I would love to tell you about my favorite gift that I’ve bought my husband, but I’ll have to keep that a secret for now since he reads this blog.  So, how about my favorite gift that I’ve bought myself? 

Talk about Halleluiah Holy Shit!  This dress is dead sexy!  I spent 2 hours at the mall one afternoon looking for a dress, and when I saw this, I knew it was the one!  I bought it to wear to church on Christmas Eve, but it’s not too dressy, so I’ll be able to wear it all winter long. 

Moving on to my favorite Holiday treat, Oreo Truffles, or Oreo Balls as some people call them.  Honestly, I just wanted to say balls.

I’m not going to say Halleluiah Holy Shit again, even though that’s how delicious these things are.  I’m going to make some with white chocolate coating, and some with dark chocolate.  Well, that’s if the Oreos even last long enough for me to make them.

Last, but not least (and probably not truly the last of my favorite Christmas things) is my favorite song this year.  I heard this song on XM Holly, and I’m not sure if it’s actually even a “Christmas” song, but it’s absolutely beautiful!

So, what are your Christmas favorites?  Please tell, I would hate to be missing out on something!

The end of my rope.

I am at the end of my rope.  So, this is my blog and I’ll bitch if I want to.

Alivia has been in first grade for roughly 3 months.  In 3 months time, she has lost one sweater, one winter ear band, several earrings, one library book, and as of yesterday one shoe.  Yes, you heard me, one shoe…just one.

And it wasn’t just any shoe.  It was this shoe:

They are Merrell’s.  Right now, I am looking at them on Zappos.com and they are $50.00.  At this point I cannot confirm or deny whether I paid $50 for these shoes, because thinking about that makes throw up in my mouth.

I feel the need to justify spending that amount on children’s shoes, so let’s just say I did.  Alivia wears uniforms to school, and for the most part the uniforms are jumpers and skorts.  So, for the most part she needs a dressy shoe.  I bought these because they were cute, and looked comfortable, and since they were Merrell’s I knew they would last at least 6 months. 

I was wrong.  Within two months the elastic holding one of the straps in place was only hanging on by a shred because she is lazy keeps taking them on and off without un-doing the strap.

When we found this out we were pretty pissed.  We told her she was going to have to buy another pair of shoes because these ones were basically new, and she had wrecked them.

Well, super-mom (me!) decided to try to sew the elastic back together, and it worked!  They were better than new!  Yesss! 

That was only two weeks ago.  Now yesterday Shawn was going through Alivia’s backpack and noticed there was only one shoe.  He asked her about it, and get this, she shrugged her shoulders.  That child shrugged her shoulders!  Oh. My. Word.  It’s not just any shrug either, it’s that shrug and that look that says “not my problem.”

I know what you’re thinking.  Just go to the school and find it.  Well, it’s not that simple.  She rode the bus yesterday.  This means…she got on the bus at daycare, switched busses at the public elementary school, rode that bus to school, went to school, got on a bus at the end of the day, rode that bus to the elementary school, switched busses, and rode back to daycare.

Do you understand what I’m saying?  That shoe could be F-ing anywhere!

So, over Christmas vacation I have a 6 year old who is looking for work.  Or, if you happen to have one size 12 Black Merrell Plaza Bandeau shoe, that would be even better!

I was a really good Mom before I had kids.

Has anyone read this book?  When I saw it in Meijer a few years ago, I knew I had to have it, just because of the title.  Why?  Because it’s so hysterically true.

How many of us when we were little would fill in the blank with “Mom”, when  asked what we wanted to be when we grew up?  I was definitely that little girl.  I played with Cabbage Patch kids until at least 6th grade.  Ok, shut up haters, I lived in the country and there wasn’t a lot to do!

I got pregnant with Alivia 2 months after Shawn and I were married.  Even though I was sick the whole time, and dead tired from working 12.5 hour shifts, I couldn’t have been more excited.  I had dreams of pushing a stroller through the park, going to play groups, and selling Girl Scout cookies (I’m starting to regret that one!)   

Alivia was born on my 24th birthday.  I had preeclampsia, and went through a two day long induction.  The morning after she was born I started bleeding, a lot.  By the end of that day my entire stomach was actually bruised from a nurse wrenching on my stomach for over an hour to get my uterus to clamp down.

That night I remember saying to my Mom, “This just isn’t what I expected.  I didn’t sign up for this.”  Truer words have never been spoken. 

I read quite a few blogs and some of my favorite ones are from other Moms who are brutally honest (possibly like yours truly!).  The ones who admit to taking Xanax before going to see Santa, or who would trade their husband’s for a housekeeper.

You will never come to this blog and find Suzy Homemaker, but you’ll probably never find Peg Bundy either. 

I am me. 

Yes, I am sarcastic.  Yes, I drink.  Yes, I drop the occasional F-Bomb.

But, I also make homemade Christmas ornaments for my girl’s classmates, take my kids to picnics at Sonic when it’s 12 degrees out, and spend my lunch break driving 40 minutes round trip to watch a 15 minute preschool Christmas Program.

Nobody is a perfect mother.  Not even you.  So, instead why not try to embrace the imperfections, lose the maternal guilt, and even enjoy some laughs along the way? 

Aero-bitch?

Do you ever find that people will say things online that they wouldn’t normally say in person?  Like somehow Face Book removes the filter in your brain which normally prevents you from saying stupid or rude things?  It’s true.  I’m sure I’ve been guilty of this too, but not as guilty as the example I’m about to give.

On Saturday night we came home from a Christmas party, and I decided to check my email before I went to bed.  I found several Face Book notifications, one being a comment from someone after a comment I wrote.

Without delving into it too much, the status was about a baby getting their 2 month shots, and I responded with something that my daughter did after her first shots.  This status was actually a few weeks old, but anywho… someone wrote after my comment, “Tammie your a b!tch!”  (That’s an exact quote.)

I may or may not have been a little tipsy from the Pink-Panty-Pull-Downs at the Christmas party, but my immediate thought was if someone is going to call me a bitch they could at least spell my name and bitch correctly!  My second thought was, WTF??  After researching it further, I figured out who the person was, and it’s a 12 (?) year old girl that I really don’t even know. 

Since I don’t mind be called a bitch, I’m pretty much over it.  However, I sure would like to know if this girl I don’t even know has some sort of a beef with me!

Moving On…

What do you think of when you think of aerobics?  That word usually conjures an image like this in my head:

 

I know you know what I’m talking about.  The 80’s hair, leg warmers, leotard, tights…the whole bit.  Ok, so, today when I picked Alivia up from school the first thing she says to me as we’re walking to the car is:  “Mom, Danny and Hayden wanted to know if you were an aerobics instructor.”

Ha!  I think I may have laughed right out loud!  First of all, Alivia had no idea what an aerobics instructor was.  Second, these two boys are in 6th grade, so I’m pretty sure they do know what an aerobics instructor is.

I figure this says one of two things about me.  1.  I’m so super fit that these boys clearly think I’m an aspiring Jillian Michaels.  Or, 2.  They’re thinking why is this woman always wearing sweat pants?

I’m hoping it’s #1.  But, hey, at least they didn’t call me a bitch.

What happens when you assume?

Do you remember last week when I said it was beginning to look a lot like shit?  Well, I was wrong.  Today was the 3rd day school was cancelled.  Now that is shit.  Oh, and remember when I said I wasn’t as bad of a Mom as I was making myself out to be?  Well, I officially retract that statement too.

Let’s just forget about the snow blizzard and dive right into this Mom thing.  Last Friday on snow day #1 I posted about my children (and my husband and my mom) nearly driving me to drink by 8:30 am.  Yesterday (Wednesday) was snow day #2.  Before Shawn left for work he told me school was cancelled. 

At that time I could hear that Lainey was awake so I assumed Alivia was awake too and that Shawn had fed them breakfast.  I didn’t hear a lot of noise, so I also assumed they were watching morning cartoons Shawn had turned on for them.

Hours Awhile later, Lainey came into my bedroom and said “Mom are you getting up soon?”  So I roll over, grab my glasses, and…Holy Mother of God it is 11:00!!  11:00?  Did I die?  How can it be 11:00?  And what have these children been doing all this time?

So, I go tripping down the stairs fully expecting the house to be in disarray.  Well, everything was intact, except one thing.  The couch.  The couch was moved away from the wall and pointing diagonally across the living room.  Oh, and it was literally inches from the Christmas tree.  And would you believe that neither child would confirm or deny what happened to the couch?

Now, before you go nominating me for mother of the year, there’s more.

In the evening Shawn was giving the girls their bath and I heard Alivia telling Shawn she got her own breakfast.  Wait a minute.  What?  So, I go bounding up the stairs to question this, because this just can’t be true.

Me:  “Shawn, didn’t you feed them breakfast before you left for work?”

Shawn:  “No, I gave Lainey Fruit Loops in a zip lock bag and Alivia wasn’t awake yet.”

Me:  “What?  She wasn’t awake?  Yes, she was.”

Shawn:  “No, just Lainey was.”

Me:  “Oh my gosh.  Alivia you got your own breakfast?”

Alivia:  “Yup!  (as proud as a peacock) I got my own breakfast!”

Me:  “How did you get your own breakfast?”

Alivia:  “A baggie, I put Fruit Loops in a baggie!” 

(Again, she was super proud…she had no idea the wheels were turning in Shawn’s head and he’s realizing that Mommy may have overslept)

Me:  “Wait a minute Alivia, how did you even know your school was cancelled?”

Alivia:  “Oh, I read it on the TV.”

 

She read it on the TV.  Now that is the shit.

Wordless Wandering Wednesday.

Stop the presses please!

You are looking at the first picture ever of these two cuties sitting on Santa’s lap!  Yes, you heard that right, the first picture!  I do think Alivia sat on Santa’s lap when she was 13 months old, but it was very brief and by the time they got around to snapping the picture she was in full meltdown mode.  Don’t get me wrong, we have tried Every. Single. Year.  I’m not sure where their ingrained Santa fear came from, but I’m just thankful they were finally able to overcome it this year!  They did point out, however, that he was not the real Santa.  They were pretty sure the real Santa would be wearing a hat.  Personally, I was pretty sure the real Santa would be wearing a freakin’ Santa suit!

They also dropped their letter’s off at Macy’s while we were at the mall:

Well, if this was a weekly weekend update, I am going backwards by starting with Sunday so let’s just go with it!  On Saturday, the girls went to my parent’s house so Shawn and I could go out for our anniversary.  They always have so much fun with my parents!  They went sledding, wrapped presents, decorated their tree, went shopping, and went out to dinner.  My Dad even gave them $5 for all their “hard” work.  He definitely pays better than we do!

Shawn and I went out to dinner, and then went to see The Blind Side:

Wow!  It was such a good movie!  It was probably one of the best movies I’ve seen in a few years.  I’m not sure if that’s saying much though, since we don’t get out to adult movies very often!  Sandra Bullock was amazing in it, and Tim McGraw was much better than I expected as the Dad.  It’s definitely a movie we’ll buy when it comes out on DVD.

Now, moving onto Friday.  We can’t forget about that, can we?  Well, I did finally let the girls go outside to enjoy the white stuff.  I was hesitant because it takes a good 10 minutes just to get all those damn layers on and in the summer Lainey won’t even stay outside for more than 10 minutes.  I think I told them 100 times, “Once you come inside, you’re in, there’s no going back and forth!”  They must have realized I meant business because they were out there almost 45 minutes laughing and having the time of their life!

Note to self:  Don’t ever buy a white winter coat again!

Apparently, the slide is way more fun in the snow.  They kept flying down it and then running to the stairs to do it again, it was so hysterical!

This picture cracks me up because that snow flake makes it look like Lainey has a white clown nose on!

After they came inside I made them hot totties chocolate and we spent the rest of day playing Uno, dress up, and watching Tinkerbelle and the Lost Treasure.  See, I’m not as bad of a Mom as I was making myself out to be!

I will be Here.

Tomorrow morning if you wake up

And the sun does not appear

I will be here.

If in the dark we lose sight of love

Hold my hand and have no fear

Cause I will be here.

I will be here…

When you feel like being quiet

When you need to speak your mind

I will listen

 

And I will be here

When the laughter turns to cryin’

Through the winnin’ losin’ and tryin’

We’ll be together

Cause I will be here.

Just as sure as the seasons are made for change

Our lifetimes are made for years

I will be here.

Happy 7 year Anniversary Shawn!

 

These were some of the lyrics to a song which was sung at our wedding, “I Will Be Here” by Steven Curtis Chapman.  Below is the song in it’s entirety (from a YouTube video).  If you’ve never heard it, you should definitely take a listen.  I think the words mean more to me today than they did 7 years ago.