So, there I was at the gym on Monday morning climbing away on my stepper when Chelie (my fav trainer) walks by. “Hi Chelie!", I say. “How was your first spin class?” (She told me last week she was starting to teach spin, and last Tuesday was her first class.) “It was great! Will I see you there tomorrow night?” she says. Oh shit. “Um, yeah, definitely if I can get out of work on time.” Oh. No.
All day at work today I’m thinking about spin. I’m wondering how I can possibly get out of it. I mean, it’s not like I signed up or anything, right? However, I also think I owe it to myself to give it one more try. The class starts at 6pm, so at 4:30 I leave work, figuring it will take at least an hour to psych myself up.
When I get to my car I look in my gym bag and see that I have forgotten my sports bra! Seriously? At this point I think this is a sign that the universe does not want me to spin. I consider my options. Pick up my kids, go home, relax? Go to store, buy sports bra, then head to purgatory? Somehow my car takes me to Meijer, I’m paying for the sports bra, there’s no turning back now.
5:45 pm: I head to the spin room so Chelie can give me a tutorial first. Note to self: start class with knob completely loose.
6pm: We start warming up. We also do some arm stretching while on the bikes. Arm stretching? I’m wearing a tank top and I can’t remember if I shaved my armpits this morning.
6:05: I’m already looking at the clock, but I’m pretending to stretch my neck, hoping no one will notice.
6:10: I’ve officially made it 5 more minutes than I did last time. I consider myself a total rock star.
6:15: My spleen is hurting, or is that my liver? Oh, and I just threw up in my mouth a little.
6:20: I realize it’s one of my incisions that’s hurting. What if the incision bursts open and my implant falls out? OMG. It’s totally possible.
6:25: I’m watching this old bitty in front of me to the right. She’s wearing a polo shirt, but she also has the professional bike shoes on. Her outfit makes no sense. The shoes say hardcore, the shirt says WTF?
6:30: The girl behind me snaps her gum. I remember the gum that I stuck in my sports bra when I changed my clothes. Ok, that’s a little better. But, where should I put my gum wrapper? I decide to swallow it. Okay, I really didn’t.
6:35: Old bitty in front of me says she wants to do more “jumps.” This lady acts hardcore, but I can tell by the way she’s pedaling that her knob is totally loose. Bitch.
6:40: Chelie asks if anyone wants to do one more song or should we start our cool down? Everyone raises their hand for one more song. Hail Mary full of Grace… I start to wonder if there is a patron Saint of spinning.
6:45: We finally start to cool down. I thought class was supposed to be over now?
6:48: We’re off our bikes stretching our calves and I see the woman behind me texting on her phone. I consider beating her with my water bottle, but don’t have the energy.
6:50: Done! What if I can’t get out of bed tomorrow to take my kids to school? Oh well. They can miss one day.
I’m driving home and I remember something Shawn bought at the store last night.