Lance Armstrong, I am not.

A few weeks ago I posted about my new set of wheels. Well, guess what? I picked it up on Monday, and it’s totally pimp!

See, I told you it was pimp! When I ordered the bike I was so excited, I was pretty sure I might even be the next Lance Armstrong. Yeah, I know he’s a dude, but whatever. I’m just sayin. Well, that night Shawn says to me “You know you’re going to have to learn to ride with the clips, right?” I scoffed at that saying “Yeah, whatever. I know how to ride in clips, the spin bikes have clips! Duh!” And then it dawned on me. The spin bikes are stationary. This bike will be moving, like on the road, with cars. Shit.

I considered cancelling the bike, but Shawn basically told me N-O, plus he thought it was too late to cancel anyway. Not to mention the manager at the bike shop goes to my spin class, and the girl who did my bike fitting teaches the Monday class. If I told them why I was cancelling they would think I was a total spaz. Which is probably true anyway.

So, for the last 3 weeks I’ve been freaking out. The bike was ready for a few days before I even picked it up. I told Shawn I felt a lot better about the bike when it was at the bike shop. You know, because if I brought it home, he might expect me to ride it. In the meantime, a Facebook friend of mine got a road bike too, and she told me she fell off the bike right in her driveway! When I told her how scared I was of this happening to me she said “It’s not a matter of if (you fall), it’s a matter of when.” This just confirmed my impending death.

Before I go any further, I’m worried that a few of you are thinking “Clips? What the hell are clips?” So, just in case, here’s a brief explanation. This is the bottom of my shoe:

And this is the “pedal” on my bike, if you even want to call it a pedal:

So, I have to “clip” my shoe into the pedal to ride the bike. Then, when I need to stop I have to clip out. Does any of this make sense? Oh, and aren’t the pink pedals bad ass?

Back to Monday. I finally picked the bike up, and when I got home I brought it in the house to practice clipping in and out. I was nervous, but at the same time, I also thought I was probably making a big deal out of nothing. Right? Wrong.

I got on the bike in the living room, and the first foot clipped in easily, because obviously I was just standing still. Shawn was standing next to me and was like “Do you want me to hold the bike?” I was all “No, no, no! I have to do it myself!” So, I go to clip the second foot in, and I’m on the bike for all of maybe 1 second, and then BOOM! I’m on the floor. Awesome. It turns out once both feet are clipped in, you need to pedal. Who knew?