The other day when I posted about Alivia’s tear-filled-drama-fest while we were lost, I’m sure most of you thought she had inherited that behavior from me. I assure you, that you are wrong. And I have proof. Picture this:
I am sitting at the YMCA this evening waiting for Shawn and the girls to get there for swimming lessons (the girl’s lessons, not Shawn’s), when my phone rings:
Me (I already know it’s Shawn): “Yeah.”
Shawn (already sounding frantic): “I’m gonna need you to come get us! My car broke down. It’s dead! I opened the hood and oil was spilling everywhere!”
Me (clearly annoyed and not at all shocked): “Ok, where are you?”
Shawn: “On Blah-blah-blah Road, right down from the school!”
Me: “You mean like 30 seconds from where I am?”
Me (seriously wondering why they can’t just walk their happy asses over here): “Ok, I’ll be right there. Is the car off the road?”
Shawn: “No, but I’m going to try to push it off the road further.”
So, I drive all of 30 seconds (ok, maybe it was a minute) over there, only to find that he has nearly pushed the car into the ditch and my children look like they’ve been crying.
Me: “Sweet. You almost pushed the car into the ditch with my children in it.”
Shawn: “Well, I didn’t mean to!”
Shawn: “Alivia started crying when the car stopped running.”
Me: “Gee, I wonder why? You act like this is the end of the world! It’s not that big of a deal…I was only a minute away, we won’t be late for swimming lessons, and you don’t even have to work tomorrow, so you don’t need your car.”
Shawn: “This is the worst day of my life!!”
Wait a minute. What? Did he just say that out loud? This is the worst day of his life? Ok, 10 years ago his first wife cheated on him with their friend, who incidentally was also his co-worker (because he got him a job there!)…but today is the worst day of his life? Seriously? Seriously.
If he thinks this is bad, wait until tomorrow when the mechanic tells him it’s going to cost him a thousand dollars to fix his car that is worth a dollar. I’m just sayin.