What would you do?

In the past year that I have been blogging, I have found one of the greatest things about it is that when you post something, you find that there is always someone out there who has been (or is) in the same situation.

Examples? Alivia’s urinary reflux, which I have posted about several times. Before I had my blog, I did not know one other person whose child had this problem. Now, I know at least two! Another example would be my infamous IUD post. After that post, I had at least two people (jokingly, I think!) offering to take it out and several other women who had emailed saying they’d had theirs removed and wished they had just taken it out themselves. Thanks to one of my BFF’s, I even got information from a midwife who said I could totally take it out myself, but the most difficult part would be grasping the strings.

I have many more examples, but I want to get to the point of my post. I received an email from a friend last week about a situation that has come up in her marriage. I thought and thought about it, and then I think I probably gave her the worst advice possible. After thinking about it further, I asked if I could post about it here to see what suggestions you all might have or if maybe someone has been in a similar situation?

From her email:

“_____ and I have been married for nearly 2 years. Before we got engaged he told me that he wanted to have a family with me. For the past two years he said he wanted to have kids but he just wasn't ready yet. On Sunday night he told me he never wants to have kids. He said he was taking the original plan off the table and that he didn't want his life to change so he doesn't want to have kids anymore. I don't know what to do and I am a complete mess. It has never been a secret that I want a family. How do I give up having kids to stay with him? Or how do I give up my marriage to him to have kids?”

I suppose you’re wondering what my advice was? Well, brace yourself, because this is going to make me sound like a terrible person. I told her I would get pregnant anyway. Yes, that’s what I told her. I told you it was terrible! So, before you comment with your answer, here is a little more information she told me after I gave my advice:

“I have thought about getting pregnant, but the one thing holding me back is that _____’s mom tricked his dad into having a baby and since _____ knows he was born out of dishonesty he is strongly against it. Also, we use condoms every single time.”

My friend (and I) would love your honest opinions on this, one thing I do ask is that you don’t bash her husband. Her husband is actually a very wonderful and supportive partner. They have been together for 8 years and they have a great relationship, so this change of heart was completely out of the blue.

So, there you have it. What would you do?

This post is linked to Shell’s Wednesday meme:

P.S. In case you’re curious about the IUD, it’s still in! I couldn’t grasp the damn strings!

Monday, Monday…

I’m finally doing Monday Minute again this week with Ian!  However, the co-host(ess) for this week’s Monday Minute is Michelle from Mommy Loves Stilettos.  Michelle is awesome, so go check her out!

 

Ok, onto the questions!

1.  What is your real name?

Tamara Nicole, but I go by Tami.  Oh, and since someone will probably ask, I pronounce it Ta-mar-a.  My Mom sometimes pronounces it Tam-a-ra though, so who the hell knows what my name really is?

2.  Have you ever fabricated a story or anything on your blog?

Absolutely not!  I think there are too many people who read this blog that know me in real life, so if I lied on here they would probably totally call me out on it.  There is honestly only one topic I don’t blog about, and unless you know me IRL or have followed me for a long time, you probably wouldn’t even realize what it is.

3.  When in the car do you listen to the radio/CDs/iPod/etc?

Well, it depends on if my kids are with me.  If they are in the car we are always listening to XM Disney.  Ugh.  So, basically I listen to a lot of this:

If my kids aren’t with me I generally listen to XM22, which plays a variety of music.  This is one song I am currently loving:

4.  Describe the 'sexiest' item of clothing that you own.

Wow, that’s a hard question.  I’m going to say a new dress that I got at a boutique when I was on vacation.  The dress itself isn’t necessarily sexy, but my arms and shoulders look super sexy in it!  I’m going to wear it to a wedding next weekend, so stay tuned for pictures!

5.  Would you be willing to breastfeed your friend's three year old child?

Seriously?  No way.  Not a chance.  Not even one single time.

I didn’t even breastfeed my own children (I couldn’t because of medications that I take), so there’s no way I would breastfeed someone else’s, let alone a 3 year old!  Not to mention I don’t think my husband would let a 3 year old manhandle my ta-ta’s which he’s got so much money invested in! :-)

Have a great Monday!!

Feel Good Friday: How do you sleep at night?

A few Fridays ago I posted about Shawn’s possible sleep walking expedition which included Fruit Loops and Sports Center at 1 o’clock in the morning.  I’m not sure, but I think he may be up to it again.  You be the judge, okay?  Here’s how it went down…

Last night I was laying in bed, wide awake, thinking about the trip that I had just booked for my Mom and I for next month.  I tossed, I turned, I thought about a naked cowboy…but I couldn’t fall asleep.  I was just too excited!  So, I did what any logical woman would do, I decided to talk to my husband about it.  Mind you, it was 12:30 am, but he was awake, right?

Me (poking and jabbing at Shawn):  “Hey!  Hey, Shawn!  Are you awake?”

Shawn:  “Wha wha what?”

Me:  “Are. You. Awake?”

Shawn:  “Kind of.”

Me:  “Kind of?  What does that mean?”

Shawn:  “It means I’m kind of awake!”

Me:  “Well, anway…I can’t get to sleep.”

Shawn:  “I can.”

Me:  “This isn’t about you, it’s about me, and I can’t get to sleep!”

Shawn:  “Well, I can.”

Me:  “Ugh, whatever!  I can’t sleep because all I can think about is the trip!  I’m so excited!”

Shawn:  “Yeah, it’s great.  Good night.”

Me:  “But I can’t get to sleep!  I keep thinking about what I’ll do when I get there.  I don’t even know what I’ll do!”

Shawn:  “You’ll sightsee.  What else would you do?”

Me:  “I don’t know!  I don’t even know what I want to see or do!”

Shawn:  “Go see the naked cowboy.”

Me:  “Is he actually naked?  He can’t possibly actually be naked.”

Shawn:  “Who cares!  It’s 12:30 and I want to go to sleep!”

Me:  “But I can’t go to sleep, I’m too excited!”

Shawn:  “Well, I’m going to sleep.”

Me:  “Noooooo!”

Shawn (getting up and taking his pillow with him):  “Well, I’m going to sleep, so I’m going downstairs!”

Me (rolling over and spreading out over the whole bed):  “That is so rude!  I just wanted to talk to you!”

Shawn (climbing back into bed):  “No, talking to someone in the middle of the night is rude!  Hey, what are you doing on my side of the bed?”

Me (not moving an inch):  “Sorry, I already moved into my new area of the bed.  I’m pretty tired, I’m going to sleep.”

At this point Shawn sighs and grumbles and grabs his pillow again to go downstairs.  As he’s walking out I yell:

 

“Hey, stay off of my new couch, okay?  I don’t want any drool on it!”

 

So, what do you think?  He had to be sleep walking, right?  No man sleeps on the couch/floor just to avoid talking to his wife, does he?  Impossible!  Oh, and the naked cowboy?  Apparently he wears tighty whities, see for yourself:

This post is linked to “Feel Good Friday” because thinking about that naked cowboy my New York City trip has really made me smile this week!  Click on the picture below to link up and play along!  Happy Friday everyone!

A girl on a bike.

I was going to post more vacation pictures today, but then something happened.  I realized I had something to say, to all of you!

When I posted a few weeks ago about my duathlon, you girls came out of the woodwork with your comments telling me how proud you were of me, and how awesome I was!  The one thing that struck me the most though, was how many comments I got from you and from my friends on Facebook saying “I wish I could do that.”

So, my question is this, Why can’t you?  What makes me different from you?  The answer is simple.  Nothing.

I am not an athlete.  I’m a girl who ran cross country in junior high, but gave it up to be a cheerleader in high school.  I’m a Mom who walked into a gym almost 4 years ago with a one year old and a three year old in tow, and decided to lose 20 pounds.  I’m a failure who lost the 20 pounds, but then gained it all back plus 10 more.  I could blame that 30 pounds on having Mono and then Shingles the following year, but I won’t.  I blame me.  Well, and the Oreos, ice cream, and Diet Coke didn’t really help.

So, what makes this time different?  Why when I set a goal on my 29th birthday to lose 30 pounds by my 30th birthday did I achieve it?  How am I able to maintain it?

Again, the answer is simple.  I found something I loved.  Last winter I saw an Oprah episode where she was talking to Kirstie Alley about struggling with weight loss.  At one point they were talking about exercise and Oprah said “I’m not going to lie, I hate to exercise!”  I think my jaw hit the floor, and I thought “Silly, Oprah, that’s why you keep getting fat!”

Maybe you’re reading this and you’re thinking “everyone hates to exercise!”  Well, I’m here to tell you that you’re wrong.  If you don’t believe me, come to the gym with me on Monday morning and look in on the advanced step class.  I bet those bitches have been doing step since the 80’s, and they are loving every minute of it!  Or, come on Wednesday morning to see the Zumba ladies.  Those chicks can shake their ass like nobody’s business, and they are burning calories while doing it.

I’m not going to lie to you.  When I first started spin, I hated it.  I stared at the clock counting down the minutes, I even puked after one class.  But, by the third or fourth class I was addicted.  I was hardcore.  I was never going back to leisurely doing the elliptical while watching The View. 

Last night I went out for a ride on my bike.  Most of the time when I ride I think about how many calories I can burn and how fast I can go.  But, last night was different.  Without even realizing it I was riding around a lake watching the sun start to set, I was watching baby ducklings follow their Mom across the road, I was getting a drink from an ice cold artesian well, I was flipping off a house where my daughter’s old babysitter lived…

By the time I got home, I had ridden 15 miles, burned 650 calories, and I had loved every minute of it.

Am I an Iron Goddess?  Maybe.  But, I’m just a wife and a mom like all of you.  The potential is there for all of us, you just have to find what you love and let that drive you.

Oh, and one vacation photo…just for shits and giggles.

P.S.  This post is linked to Shell’s Wednesday meme:

This is my very first time doing “Pour your heart out,” so don’t judge!

Did you miss me?

I’m baaaack!  You know you missed me!  This is actually the first break I’ve taken from blogging since last summer when I first started my blog.  Speaking of which, one week from today is my one year blog anniversary!  Yeah!

We actually got back from vacation on Saturday, but I just haven’t had a chance to sit down and write anything.  I honestly have so many pictures to share, I don’t even know where to start!

Maybe I’ll just go in order, that might be easiest.  We left on Saturday afternoon, after spending at least an hour trying to get the car packed up.  By the time Shawn was done, we totally looked like the Beverly Hillbillies!

Oh, and see that yellow ladder on the right edge of the picture?  I climbed up on top of the car, and then couldn’t get down!  I was up there whining and crying, meanwhile my children were pointing and laughing. 

On the way to Silver Lake, we stopped at the Country Dairy because that day was their yearly ice cream social!  Hey, I’m all for free ice cream!  So, we ate ice cream, made butter, petted some calves, and the girls got their picture taken with a cow:

I think we finally made it to Silver Lake around 4pm.  I’ve always loved the view on the road we come in on, you can see the sand dunes, and behind the dunes, the blue part is Lake Michigan:

We spent our first two nights there in my parent’s motor home, because the people who own the condo we rent wanted to stay in it for the Fourth of July weekend.  It wasn’t ideal, but we made the best of it!  On Sunday my brother, sister-in-law, and baby Ethan came up to spend the day.  We spent almost the whole day swimming at the pool and then watched the fireworks over Silver Lake that night.

Ethan loved playing in the water:

He is cutting his top two teeth, so he kept biting his top lip…my brother and sister-in-law were calling him a bull-dog!

Alivia and Lainey swam almost every single day.  By the end of the week, Alivia was even diving into the deep end!

Ethan stayed awake to watch the fireworks, which he seemed to love!  He never cried or anything, but he wasn’t a fan of me taking his picture:

On Monday my sister and her whole clan came up.  Again, we spent the whole day playing at the pool and that night the kids went and rode go-karts.  I sat out the go-karts this year due to the fact that I was involved in a crash last year between Shawn and my brother-in-law two adult males who shall remain nameless.  I’m still pissed about that, especially since both guys keep pointing fingers at the other!

Okay, onto the pictures…

Alex and I playing in the pool:

 

Before I go on, I have to tell you how stinkin cute this kid is!  When I was in the shallow end with him, he pointed down to the deep end and said “Hey, Aunt Tami!  See that #8 down there?  That’s my favorite number.  #8!”  My sister told me to tell him my favorite number, which is 7, and he even remembered it on Friday when he came back!

My brother-in-law asking me “Hey, does this look normal?”

Um, no.

Riding the go-karts:

Watching the other kids ride:

Grandpa and baby Ryan:

My niece, Natalie, wearing her Dad’s hat:

Whew!  That was only the end of the first two days!  I hope I don’t bore you to death with all these pictures.  I’ll leave you with one more picture of one of the many beautiful sunsets we saw:

Let’s Make a Deal, Future Iron Goddesses, and Sleep Walking?

It’s that time again!

 

I am opting this week to make a list of 5 things that made me really happy this week.  So, in no particular order…

1.  I just checked the Send Love to Cohen site and at last count there were over 650 blogs linked up for Cohen’s Day of Silence!  My heart breaks for Megan and her husband, but I hope they have felt all the love and prayers sent up for them.

2.  On Monday I was so tired and sore from the race on Sunday, so my daughters laid in bed with me in the morning watching

and

The Price is Right just isn’t the same without Bob, but I loved watching it with my daughters.  I remember watching it everyday on summer vacation when I was growing up!

3.  On Monday afternoon I caught the girls playing “Iron Goddess” in their bedroom.  This brought tears to my eyes because my main reason for wanting to lose 30 pounds and get into shape was to be a good example to my daughters.  It looks like I have done that!  Shawn said Lainey even asked him on Sunday when she could do the Iron Goddess race!

Future Goddesses?

4.  On Thursday morning I caught Shawn up at 2am eating Trix and watching Sports Center!  I think he was sleep walking!  When I told him it was 2 o’clock he argued with me, but then came back to bed proclaiming how tired he was and how glad he was to go back to bed!  I’m not sure if this makes me happy, but it sure as hell makes me laugh!

Lastly, I am definitely most happy to tell you this…

5.  If I am MIA for the next week (or so), it’s because you can find me here:

Happy Friday everyone!  Be sure and click over to The Girl Next Door to link up and play along!

COHEN

In support of Megan and Brent Marshall many bloggers are uniting in a day of silence today to honor sweet baby Cohen.

If you click on the photograph, it will take you take Megan’s blog. If you would like to participate in the day of silence, please copy and post the photo as a post on your blog, and link up here to show your support for Megan and Brent.