For future reference ICMTSU = “I Can’t Make This Shit Up”
Before we begin, does anyone have a guess on how long it was before I got a call from the girl’s school? You know, a call like “Your daughter flew off a swing and landed on a patch of ice” or “Your daughter’s stomach itches” or the best one of all time “Your daughter lost her earring and she thinks it went up her nose.”
Seriously, any guesses? A day? A week? A minute?
The answer is: one day. Yes, one day people. I received my very first phone call on the second day of school. It was a doozy too. To start, let’s go back to this picture I posted on Tuesday:
A few of you asked about Alivia’s shoes in the comments on that post, which was cracking me up, because those shoes are the subject of this post. So, for those of you who wanted to know about them…they are actually from the Disney store, but we got them a year ago. Here is a close-up picture of the shoes for Yankee Girl (who begged me for this picture):
They are definitely cute shoes! Like I said, we bought the shoes last year, but because they are quite wide, they were too big all year. Well, last Tuesday on the first day of school, Alivia dug these shoes out from who-knows-where and proclaimed that she was wearing them. Shawn told her “No” because he thought they were too big. On the second day of school, she again announced she was wearing them and after trying them on she declared them to be “perfect!” After I looked at them, I told her No Way, because I could see that now they were too small.
Of course, she wouldn’t take No for an answer, and she went on and on saying that they fit, they were perfect, and blah blah blah. So, finally I said “Fine. You may wear the shoes, but I don’t want to hear one single complaint about how they hurt your feet!” I knew they would be too small, but she would learn a lesson, and by the end of the day victory would be mine. Right? Wrong.
So, there I was in Yoga Strength class on Wednesday morning minding my own downward dog, when I see the green light start flashing on my phone. Hmmm. What could this mean? I scooted my down dog over to my phone to check it out. “Missed Call” and “New Voicemail” it read. I didn’t recognize the number right away, but something about it just reeked of Danger! I
stupidly decided to leave class early, just in case it was a true emergency. The emergency sounded a little something like this:
“Hi Tami, this is Colleen (school secretary). I was calling because Sarah (Alivia’s teacher) said Alivia was complaining her shoes are too small and they’re hurting her feet. We were wondering if you could bring her another pair?”
Bahahahahaha!! Let me think about that. Can I bring her another pair of shoes? Um, no. No, no, and no. Whatever happened to the “Do Not Call List?” I thought I was supposed to be on that list!