Wandering Wednesday...

Back in April I posted several pictures which I took along I-75 on our trip to Atlanta. This was one of those photos:

Who could forget the giant Jesus?

Well, friends, I am sad to report that giant Jesus (known in Ohio as “Touch Down Jesus”) is no more. That’s right, a few weeks ago he was struck by lightning and burned to the ground. My husband was the first one to tell me about this, but then one of my blog readers (I’m so sorry I can’t remember who!) also emailed me about the story. When I posted the picture in April so many of you were enthralled by it, so I thought I’d share the story with you:

After Googling Touch Down Jesus for this post, I found several comments and posts by some people claiming it was a sign from God and others claiming it was an act of Satan. What do you think? Me? Well, I think it was an act of nature.

The moment you've all been waiting for...

Are you ready? Have you been waiting on pins and needles all weekend? What’s that? You have no idea what I’m talking about? Ugh. Great. Just great. Well, in case you forgot, today was this:

That’s right! The Iron Goddess was today! I’ve noticed that I have a lot of new readers (Welcome!), so if you’d like to read more about my Iron Goddess journey, you can click here, here, and here.

Now, let’s get right to it! Yesterday afternoon we drove to the race location to pick up my packet, and check out the course. This is where I discovered that the running portion of the race was um, trails. Trails, as in a dirt path one person wide, up and down steep hills, and one tree rut after a-freakin-nother. Great. The last time I ran on a trail was in 8th grade, which was 17 years ago, but who’s counting?

After seeing the course and all the hardcore lesbian tri-athletes, I freaked out a little and threatened to drop out. But, then we had an ice cream bar, and all was well with the world. Until, we got to the hotel where our rooms weren’t ready and Shawn discovered something was wrong with one of my bike brakes. But, then we found a bike shop to get it fixed, went to dinner, and all was well with the world. Until, we waited over 45 minutes for our food only to have my food be completely wrong and had to deal with a douche bag manager who thought making jokes about his glass eye was funny.

Ugh. Joe’s Crab Shack in Ann Arbor is two thumbs down, way down!

When we finally got back to the hotel (after our nearly 2 hour dinner shenanigan) we all went swimming and my Dad got me a Long Island Iced Tea from the bar. He said he thought it would help me sleep, but I honestly don’t think I slept a wink! Does that happen to everyone before a race?

I woke up at 5 Sunday morning, and felt surprisingly good. I got to the race location around 6:20, so I could set up my transition area, and then I spent the next 2 hours freaking out. I was hungry, I was thirsty, and I had to go #2. The #2 thing is possibly TMI, but I’m throwing that in there for Tyly :)

Now before I get to the pictures, let’s review. The Iron Goddess was a Triathlon and Duathlon. I did the Duathlon, which was a 1.5 mile run, 10.6 mile bike ride, and 3 mile run. My original goal several months ago was to finish under 1:30. Then, within the last month, I changed it to 1:25. Well, today after I started I changed my goal again.

How do you think I did? I’ll give you a hint. In the words of my husband “You made that race your bitch.”

Shawn and I before the race:

Me with my parents:

View of all the athletes (560 were registered):

The start of the Duathlon:

(can you find me?)

There I am:

Coming in from the first run:

Ok, this is the only leg of the race I screwed up. Do you see that girl in the orange in the last 2 pictures? I asked her what her pace was at the beginning because I wanted to use someone to pace myself. She told me 8-8:30/mile. So, I thought “Sweet!” That’s the pace I’ve been practicing at, I’ll stick with her! Wrong. My time for the first 1.5 mile run was 13:31, which is a 9 minute pace/mile. Damn It!

Getting my bike gear on in the transition area:

Getting on at the mount line:

(Do you see that guy checking out my ass? Busted!)

Coming back in from the bike ride (and looking totally hardcore):

My bike time was 35:42, which was almost 5 minutes faster than I’ve ever done practicing! That’s an average of 18 mph.

Heading out on the last run:

Here I come!

(Do you see my Dad on the right hand side waiting to give me a High 5?)

Finished! My overall time was 1:15:51! The goal I had set after I started was 1:20, so I totally beat it! The time for my last run was 24:56, which is a pace of 8:18/mile.

(Just in case you can read the clock, that time isn’t accurate because that was the time from when the very first heat started.)

The girls and I after the race:

So, how did I place? Drum roll please…

I got 1st place in my age group, and 4th place overall in the Duathlon!

There were no medals for the top finishers, instead the top 3 finishers all got a necklace which has a charm on it that says “DU.” Here I am getting my necklace:

Thank you so much to all of you who have encouraged and supported me on this journey! What’s next?!

Bringing Sexy Back.

 

A few weeks ago I heard about the “Mom Sexy Prom” from Erin (aka The Motherload).  When Erin first mentioned it, I thought it sounded fun, but not for me.  I really didn’t have anything to wear and I doubted there would be any table dancing.

But, when I read Erin’s Mom Sexy Prom post, I was intrigued.  Erin is one of the best writers I know, and she is always inspiring me.  I, of course, commented on her post and when she replied to me she was all “Are you going to come to the prom?!”  In my head, I was thinking “No!”  But, Erin was recently voted “Top Mommy Blogger,” so she’s like the Queen Mom.  I can’t tell her no, can I?

So, I clicked over to the Mommyologist, who is hosting the Prom.  Well, the Mommyologist did a vlog for her Mom Prom post, and as I was watching it my daughters came over to check it out.  Wouldn’t you know it, as soon as they saw it, they begged me to go to the “Mommy Prom!”  They even wanted to pick out my dress and do my hair!  I’m not sure if they’ve seen my hair before, but it isn’t exactly “do-able.”  I did let them pick out my dress though, and they took my pictures for me. 

Without further ado, I give you my “Mom Sexy Prom” look:

As I was getting ready for the Prom, Alivia and Lainey also donned their prom dresses.  While they were absolutely adorable, I think they may have confused Prom with a Toga party:

I give them points for creativity, but their dresses may have gotten them kicked out of prom, since they popped off only 30 seconds into the first Hannah Montana song! 

Cars, cakes, and creepers?

Whoa.  Long time, no blog!  Sorry about that.  Would you hate it if I was all, I haven’t written since Friday, but nothing has even been going on?  Like, I’ve just been sitting here eating Oreos and working on my tan, and I have nothing to report on?  That would suck.  What really sucks is that I’ve gotten a few shout outs from other bloggers like The Girl Next Door and Tyly, but if anyone clicks over here they probably think I never write!  I do, I do, pinky swear!  Patience grasshoppers.

Ok well, lucky you I have had stuff going on, so listen up!  (I have been eating Oreos and working on my tan too though.)  First, on Friday afternoon we set out to get Shawn a car.  We actually found the one we wanted on Thursday night, and after a lot of back and forth phone calls, 2 bags of popcorn, and driving around to 4 other dealerships…we finally bought it on Friday afternoon.  Behold Shawn’s new bitch:

It’s a 2009 Nissan Altima.  You like?  Don’t worry, I told him if he trashes this one like he did the Stratus that I will stab him in the jaw.  That’s a promise people.

I hate to say this, but I honestly can’t even remember what we did on Saturday.  It must have been exciting.  Wait a minute, I’ve got it!  Being the domestic goddess (and soon to be iron goddess) that I am, I did a lot of cooking and cleaning for our Father’s Day get together on Sunday.  All of that is quite boring except this:

That deliciousness is an Oreo and fudge ice cream cake.  Yum.  It’s so easy to make, but looks like you’ve slaved for hours!  You can find the recipe I used here.  I did make mine in a 9 x 13 pan, but everything else was the same.

On Sunday we went to church and then had my family over for Father’s Day.  Here are a few pictures from Sunday:

My nephew Alex, I believe that’s ice cream cake on his mouth!

My Grandpa with my nephew, Ryan:

Grandpa with a few of the great-granddaughters…Alivia, Natalie, and Lainey:

Sunday was also my sister’s birthday.  She told me she would kill me if I posted this picture on Facebook, so I thought I’d post it on here instead!  Hehehe!

(please note my redneck pool in the background)

 

This post isn’t over yet, because I actually did something on Monday too!  Can you believe it?  It’s exciting too!  Are you ready?  I had my very first blog date!  Ya know, like I met another blogger!  Yup.  I have been following Jen from A Tale of Two Coins since her husband passed away almost 2 years ago.  Jen also lives in Michigan, so we met up in Birch Run to go shopping and to lunch.  I was actually ridiculously nervous, but I had a great time, and I don’t think Jen thought I was too much of a creeper. 

Father’s Day Feel Good Friday

First things first.  Shawn’s car?  Garbage.  The mechanic said it would cost $1000+ to fix it.  Honestly, I’m not surprised the car took a shit.  For some reason, Shawn decided 3 years ago that he hated that car and wasn’t going to take care of it anymore.  So, he didn’t.  Oh, and he will totally admit to this, I’m not even throwing him under the bus on this one!

Did I ever tell you about the time I had to drive it to work because my car was having work done on it?  I got in the car to leave for work, and when I went to move the seat up it wouldn’t budge.  This presented a problem given the fact that Shawn is 6’3” and I am 5’4”.  I blew the horn to get his attention, and asked him to help me.  He looked at me and said “Oh, the seat’s broken.”  I told him I could not reach the gas pedal, and asked him what I should do.  He shrugged his shoulders and offered nothing.  At that point, I flipped him off, he flipped me off, and I peeled out.  Oh, and I drove the whole 40 miles to work using my big toe to accelerate.  If that’s not safe, I don’t know what is.

Back to my original point.  For 3 days we’ve been looking for a new (used) car for him.  This has literally taken years off my life.  Not to mention, it has prevented me from blogging (and commenting) and training for my duathlon next weekend.  It really hasn’t been my week people.  So, what better way to end it than with:

The prompt I am choosing this week is to write a list of 5 things that made me really happy this week.  In honor of Father’s Day on Sunday, each item on the list will relate to one of the men in my life, who are all Fathers.  Does that make sense?  Well, whatever.  Here we go:

1.  My Dad:  On Monday he and my Mom brought over a whole load of mulch for our yard!

2.  My Dad:  Tuesday night he dropped everything he was doing to come over and tow Shawn’s car home for us.  I realized later that night that it was my parent’s anniversary that day, and he missed eating dinner with my Mom to help us!

3.  My Brother:  He also drove up to help Shawn and my Dad push Shawn’s car onto the trailer to tow it. 

4.  Shawn:  When I asked him how the day his ex-wife cheated on him was not the worst day of his life, he said “That turned out to be one of the best days of my life, because then I was able to meet you!”

and last, but not least…

5.  This picture I found of Shawn (and Alivia) when he first became a Father:

P.S. If you’d like to play along with Feel Good Friday, click on over to The Girl Next Door and link up!

Drama Queen?

The other day when I posted about Alivia’s tear-filled-drama-fest while we were lost, I’m sure most of you thought she had inherited that behavior from me. I assure you, that you are wrong. And I have proof. Picture this:

I am sitting at the YMCA this evening waiting for Shawn and the girls to get there for swimming lessons (the girl’s lessons, not Shawn’s), when my phone rings:

Me (I already know it’s Shawn): “Yeah.”

Shawn (already sounding frantic): “I’m gonna need you to come get us! My car broke down. It’s dead! I opened the hood and oil was spilling everywhere!”

Me (clearly annoyed and not at all shocked): “Ok, where are you?”

Shawn: “On Blah-blah-blah Road, right down from the school!”

Me: “You mean like 30 seconds from where I am?”

Shawn: “Yes!”

Me (seriously wondering why they can’t just walk their happy asses over here): “Ok, I’ll be right there. Is the car off the road?”

Shawn: “No, but I’m going to try to push it off the road further.”

So, I drive all of 30 seconds (ok, maybe it was a minute) over there, only to find that he has nearly pushed the car into the ditch and my children look like they’ve been crying.

Me: “Sweet. You almost pushed the car into the ditch with my children in it.”

Shawn: “Well, I didn’t mean to!”

(no shit?)

Shawn: “Alivia started crying when the car stopped running.”

Me: “Gee, I wonder why? You act like this is the end of the world! It’s not that big of a deal…I was only a minute away, we won’t be late for swimming lessons, and you don’t even have to work tomorrow, so you don’t need your car.”

Shawn: “This is the worst day of my life!!”

Wait a minute. What? Did he just say that out loud? This is the worst day of his life? Ok, 10 years ago his first wife cheated on him with their friend, who incidentally was also his co-worker (because he got him a job there!)…but today is the worst day of his life? Seriously? Seriously.

If he thinks this is bad, wait until tomorrow when the mechanic tells him it’s going to cost him a thousand dollars to fix his car that is worth a dollar. I’m just sayin.

Weekend Update: Gettin Jiggy.

First things first.  In case you’re wondering (because I know you are), no, I did not get in the pool yet.  Yes, everyone else has been in it but me.  Don’t judge, I told you in the very beginning I only wanted that pool because Shawn told me “No.”  Ok, now that we have that out of the way, I think we can continue.

On Saturday Alivia had a birthday swim party to go to, so we dropped her off there and headed straight to the Verizon store.  You better believe our first question was “Can we get the activation fee waived?”  Either the salesgirl read my blog, or we were legitimately eligible to get the fee waived because she said “Yes!”  Score.  She also said we would get $100 off our first bill for transferring from another carrier.  Score!  Roberto sure wasn’t offering that.

After hours of deliberation, leaving to get Alivia, and going out to lunch, we finally made it back to the store to sign up.  Phew.  I ended up getting the Droid, because that’s how I roll:

Saturday evening we had a wedding reception to go to, and we ended up having to rush around to get ready for that because it took SO long at the Verizon Store.  Amazingly we left in plenty of time, and we would have been on time, but we got lost.  Yes, we had a GPS and my navigation on my new Droid, and we got lost.

Here’s the best part.  The reception was for one of my high school BFF’s (Angie), and it was at her parents house, her parents house which I have probably been to at least 100 times.  It was seriously embarrassing, and I was so confused and disoriented I actually thought we might not get there.  It didn’t help that Alivia was crying in the backseat proclaiming how “scared!” she was.  Seriously?  It was at this point that I began praying for an open bar at the party.

After approximately 30 minutes of driving in circles, and a consultation with some nice people on dirt bikes we did finally make it!  We had a great time dancing the night away, doing Jell-O shots, and catching up with some old friends.

 

Don’t be jealous of Shawn’s dance moves…I’m pretty sure he is the whitest white boy ever.

Alivia dancing with Lillian, Angie’s daughter.

Shawn and Lainey dancing.

Alivia pouting because the DJ didn’t have the song she requested.

Me, Lisa (Angie’s aunt), and Angie gettin’ jiggy wit it!  Angie had changed out of her wedding dress by this time, and unfortunately I didn’t get a picture of her in it!

Angie and I (and her boobs). 

By the time we got home it was after 11 o’clock, and the girls had fallen asleep in the car.  When we pulled into the driveway, Shawn started laughing and pointed at Alivia:

You can’t tell, but she does have her seat belt on, pinky swear!

On Sunday we basically did nothing except for stress out over the fact that we invited everyone over for Father’s Day next weekend, and we still haven’t put our mulch down in our yard.  This is only a big deal because the party will be outside, and our yard is ghetto enough as it is, without the flower beds being nothing but dirt.  So, who wants to volunteer to do all that work?  Don’t all raise your hands at once!

I did manage to get in a workout tonight too.  I did a 1.5 mile run, followed by a 10.7 mile bike ride, and finished with a 1.5 mile run.  Those are the distances of the Iron Goddess, with the exception of the last run being 3 miles, not 1.5.  My total time was 1 hour and 7 minutes, including transitions.  So, I think I’m getting there people!  The race is only 2 weeks from today!!    

P.S.  The dress I wore to the reception is from The Banana Factory Store (Outlet).  It’s the same dress from the American Girl pictures in Atlanta, and a few people asked me where it was from, but I don’t think I ever told you!

Can you hear me now?

Our cell phone contract is up, so we are in the process of switching companies and getting new phones.  This has proven to be much more annoying than it should be.  Or, maybe it’s supposed to be annoying?  I don’t know.  Anyphone, last night I decided to have a little fun with the pop up chat window on the Verizon website:

 

Verizon chat window:  “Hello, you are now speaking with Robert, how can I be of assistance?”

Me:  “Hey, Bob, what’s up?”

Robert:  “In order to best assist you, can you tell me if you are a current Verizon customer?”

Me:  “Nope.”

Robert:  “What can I help you with tonight?”

Me:  “Well, Bobby, I want you to waive the activation fee.”

Robert:  “I can’t do that.  As a new customer, that is a one time fee you are required to pay.”

Me:  “That’s not true.”

Robert:  “I’m sorry you think my information is incorrect, but there is no way I can waive the fee.”

Me:  “We get a discount through my husband’s company and they told us in the store that we wouldn’t have to pay the activation fee.”

Robert:  “I would encourage you to go to the Verizon store today and maybe they can help you.”

Me:  “Ok Rob, I’ll do that.  I hope they’re open at 11pm because that’s what time it is.”

Robert:  “They won’t be open, but they will be there to assist you tomorrow from 10 am to 8 pm.”

Me:  “Good, I’ll them you sent me.”

(At this point, Shawn is yelling in the background “Just leave the poor guy alone!  He doesn’t want to talk to you!”)

Robert:  “Is there anything else I can help you with tonight?”

Me:  “Yes, Robert, there is.”

Robert:  “Ok, how can I assist you?”

Me:  “You can waive the activation fee.”

(silence)

Me:  “Robert?  Bob?  Bobby?  Can you hear me now?”

You might be a redneck if…

It all started innocently on Memorial Day weekend when the temperatures were in the 90’s. We were driving to my parents house to pick up the girls when the following conversation occurred:

Me: “I think I’m going to get one of those redneck pools.”

Shawn: “No.”

Me: “What?”

Shawn: “No. I said No.”

Me: “What do you mean No?”

Shawn: “I mean NO. We’re not getting one.”

Me: “You can’t tell me No. I’ll just go to the store and get one myself!”

Shawn: “Go ahead, but I’m not helping you take care of it!”

(We’re very mature, in case you couldn’t tell.)

And with that, it was on. It was on like Donkey Kong. When we got to my parents house I was ready to stoop to an all time low. I got out the Sunday ads and started looking at the pools. I found the one I wanted at Target, and then I took the ad and showed it to my Dad.

Me: “Hey Dad, look at this! I’m going to get one of these pools.”

My Dad: “Oh yeah? I bet the girls would really like that!”

Me: “Yes, they would! But, guess what? Shawn says if I get one, he isn’t going to help me take care of it.”

Oh yeah, I said it. I told my Dad on him. All the while, Shawn was glaring at me. But, he knew it was over. He knew I had won. That pool was as good as mine. On Friday afternoon the girls and I set out to get our pool, all by ourselves, just like I said I would. The only hiccup came when I was afraid we’d have to put a fence around it. However, lucky for us, this redneck town does not have ANY rules regarding pools.

Saturday afternoon we set it up, which was not as easy as they make it sound. Then we started filling it, which took hours and hours and hours. We finally turned the hose off on Saturday night, and started filling it again in the morning. When it was finally finished, Shawn put the chemicals in, tested the water, and hooked the filter up. I’m telling you, he looked really excited doing it! I told him I thought that pool had given him a new purpose in life, and he should be thanking me!

Anyway, wouldn’t you know it, when the pool was finally ready the temperature had dropped into the 60’s and was windy. That didn’t matter though, because when I suggested the girls take a swim, they were all over it! But, would you believe Shawn wanted to be the first one in? It’s true! Check it out (and make sure your volume is up, so you can hear Lainey at the end):

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

(If the video won’t load, try refreshing the entire page.)

For some reason, the video got cut off at the end, which is terrible because the look of desperation on Shawn’s face when he was yelling at me for a towel is just priceless!

P.S. Don’t tell Shawn, but I wasn’t even serious about the pool when I first brought it up. But, he had to go and tell me “No,” and when he told me “No,” I suddenly wanted that pool as bad as Barack Obama wants universal healthcare.

Monday Minute or Toilet Tag anyone?

I have been slacking on the whole Monday Minute thing, so I thought I better jump back in this week before Ian un-follows me!  If you don’t know Ian, click on his freaky button up there, and it will take you to Ian’s blog where you can get the low down on everything.

This weeks edition is apparently “The Kid Edition” where I am supposed to ask my kids the questions.  They were more than happy to oblige, so let’s get right to it:

 

Alivia:

1.  What's your favorite book/story?

   Junie B. Jones “Aloha-ha-ha.”

2.  What do you want to do when you grow up?

I want to be an art teacher because I like art.

3.  What is your favorite game?

  “Toilet Tag” 

(Say what?!  I have no idea where she learned this!)

4.  What's your favorite food?

  Bacon Mushroom Pasta

5.  What is your favorite thing about summer?  What is one thing you would like to do this summer?

  (The 5th question was my choice.)

My favorite thing is that it’s always sunny!  One thing I would like to do is to go to Mackinac Island (which we are).

 

Lainey:

1.  What's your favorite book/story?

Blues Clues:  “Blue’s Favorite Animal.”

2.  What do you want to do when you grow up?

I want to be a nurse because I want to be the same thing as my Mommy.

(Is this what she has in mind?) 

  3.  What is your favorite game?

The Ladybug Game

(Lainey’s nickname is “Lainey-Bug, so she loves all things Ladybug!) 

4.  What's your favorite food?

Macaroni and Cheese

  5.  What is your favorite thing about summer?  What is one thing you would like to do this summer?

My favorite thing is I get to swim in my pool.  One thing I want to do is to have a play date with Karys!

 

I hope you enjoyed their answers, and make sure you click over to Ian’s to link up and play along!  Stay tuned this week for a great post on how I became a redneck this weekend!

Back by popular demand...

Ok, ok, so nobody was really demanding Feel Good Friday, but whatever. Feel Good Friday is back today after a brief hiatus. The Girl Next Door was busy with Hugh Hefner sick, but she’s back with a brand new fancy wordpress layout, so click over, check her out, and play along!

It wasn’t difficult to decide what my feel good post would be about this week. Tomorrow is the last day of school, and while that does feel damn good, I’ve got something better:

Lainey graduated from preschool this week! Not once, but twice! Dual degrees, she’s smart like that. Actually, she went to preschool at the school she will attend next year, and she sort of went to preschool by default at daycare on the days I work.

On Wednesday she had her preschool graduation at Assumption (Side note: these pictures are not actually in the preschool, the preschool got flooded over the weekend, so they held graduation in the hallway!):

Does she look excited, or what?

Lainey and one of her BFFs:

Her teachers, Miss Suzanne and Miss Kim:

Thursday night they had a preschool graduation at her daycare. If I’m being totally honest, Shawn and I really didn’t want to go to this one. There is a preschool at the daycare, and she did go to it, but like I said, she only went by default.

All that being said, I’m glad we went. At the beginning there was a slide show and it showed pictures of some of the kids who had been going to the daycare since they were babies. Omg, what a tear jerker. Oh, and before I show you the pictures…yes, she is wearing the same dress. Normally that would go against everything I stand for, but it was her day and she said that dress made her beautiful. Who am I to stand in the way of beauty? You’ll notice her hair is down in all these pictures too, which was her choice. She said (and I quote) “Mom, I want my hair long and flowing!”

With her cap on.

This was part of the slide show:

Each child spelled a word and had drawn a picture of their word. Lainey’s was “Skip.”

Collecting her second degree:

Lainey’s friend Karys, they have been friends since they were 3 months old:

Daddy’s Girl:

To tell you the truth, Lainey going to kindergarten this Fall makes me very sad. I think she knows this too, since I’ve been telling her since kindergarten round-up two months ago that she doesn’t have to go if she doesn’t want to. So, tonight when she came to kiss me good night she crawled up into my lap and said:

“Mom, are you happy for me?”

“Of course I am!” I replied.

To which she said:

“Don’t worry Mom, I’ll always be your baby girl.”

And that was the feel good for the week.